ink Page 65 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cheap Bourbons, Ranked
Each year around mid-August, publicists start burying everyone in the food journalizing racket with ideas for Thanksgiving coverage. Most of their emails concern ways in which a client, usually a lesser television chef or an agricultural marketing board, can enhance your stuffing with this or that u...
ESPN Anchor Apologizes After "Lin Is Cooking With Peanut Oil" Joke
Remember when ESPN suspended Max Bretos for a month because he used a common colloquialism that, in the context of Jeremy Lin, seemed racist? Remember when media people saying racially obtuse things about Jeremy Lin was a thing? Lin's having a good game tonight against the Knicks, which means we'r...
Quarterback Fakes Out Defense With Incredible Trick Play
El Camino Real's JV quarterback, Jahlil Pinkett (Jada's nephew), pulled off the old "this is the wrong football, we need a new football, nah just kidding it's perfectly fine, my center snapped it to me and now I'm going to run, untouched, into the endzone" play so well that the defense was all "yea...
How To Make Bourbon Bread Pudding While Also Making Yourself Drunk
I want you to sit down for this, because a revelation like the one I'm about to share might cause you to collapse from shock and I would hate to bear the blame for your bruised tailbone: In order to make bread pudding, you'll need bread....
Why The Hell Does Your Drink Cost So Much?
I'm not ambitious enough to be downright thrifty, but I try to avoid abject retail stupidity. I know better than to buy paper plates when the free magazines and underwear catalogs that clog my mailbox are perfectly capable of supporting even the hammin'est of sandwiches. I drink tap water, and I'm s...
Geezer Minstrelsy. <em>Last Vegas</em>, Reviewed.
Hollywood movies get a lot of things wrong: Midwesterners, marriage, transforming robots. But Last Vegas reminds us that they're also terrible at depicting old age. It's not that studios don't make movies starring older actors—Escape Plan just came out—but when they do, they often paint a picture of...
A Wink At A Homely Girl
If you don't have good dreams, Bagel, you've got nightmares....
Belgian Racing Pigeons Are Being Pumped Full Of Coke And Painkillers
Yes, they race pigeons in Belgium. And apparently, not all of these pigeons race The Right Way....
Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Visits A Beer Festival, And It's Great
The beers! The paunches! The ridiculous facial-hair arrangements! It's the Great American Beer Festival, brought to you by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Personal favorite: "Besides craft brewing, how long have you been pursuing Moby-Dick?"...
Chart: 71 Fictional Beers
Not content with mapping out over 500 actual beers, Pop Chart Lab has now cataloged 71 fictitious beers and beer-like substances from popular media. Everyone's heard of Butterbeer, but did you know about Heisler—an in-house fake beer from prop supplier Independent Studio Services—has been used in De...
A Cleveland Browns Tailgate Featured A Beer-Drinkin' Toddler
We've said it before: Giving babies beer to drink is not necessarily the "responsible" thing to do. And the same goes for toddlers. But there was no stopping this kid. He came to party....
High School Volleyballer Suspended For Being Designated Driver
A Massachusetts high school senior has been suspended for five matches and stripped of her volleyball captaincy thanks to the school's no-tolerance policy toward alcohol. Except she wasn't drinking, and had only shown up at the house party to drive an intoxicated friend home. ...
This Bear Cub Thinks It's People, And It Wants To Take Your Picture
So, who's going to tell this bear cub that it is definitely not people, and that it probably won't be able to figure out how to take your picture? Don't look at me, because I'm not doing that shit. I would rather this bear maintain his whimsical outlook on life, you big jerk....
NFL Getting Rid Of Pink Penalty Flags
The NFL has announced it will return to yellow penalty flags next week, two weeks earlier then planned. Breast cancer awareness is nice, but not as nice as knowing if that's a flag or a stray towel on the field....
The Sneaky Public Drinker's Guide To Impromptu Tailgating
Massachusetts has a lot going for it. First and foremost, it's a really fun word to say. We also have a lot of apples here, plus more peaches than you'd think. And I can't say for certain, but I assume we still have unparalleled access to the Funky Bunch....
If You Tweet Mean Things About Colin Kaepernick, He Might Favorite It
Most athletes on Twitter tend to ignore the noise of their replies, and for good reason. There are scores of people with dumb, hateful opinions out there. Colin Kaepernick, however, deals with it in a less popular way....
The A's Postgame Celebration Featured A Beer-Drinkin' Baby
For the second year in a row, the Oakland A's have shocked everyone by capturing the AL West title. The team celebrated after clinching the division with an 11-7 victory over the Twins last night (the Rangers helped out by losing 4-0 to the Royals), and everybody had a good time. ...
Eagles Nearly Traded For Colin Kaepernick, Drafted Russell Wilson
In the annals of NFL what-ifs, here are two gigantic, NFC-altering ones....