ioc Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin, Bro
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like USC's Lane Kiffin, the happy mediocrity who won his debut last night against Hawaii. Coach Peter Principle is 1-0, everyone....

Last Night's Loser: Drama-Loving U.S. Open Fan, Third Row
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Antonio Cromartie's Seed
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Antonio Cromartie's many many children, who each got a mention on last night's Hard Knocks, even if he had to use his fingers and toes to count them....

ESPN Editor Is Once Again Very Excited About ESPN Event
Easily starstruck ESPN factotum Lynn Hoppes is live-tweeting a softball game involving the Jonas Brothers, Mike Greenberg, and Matthew Berry....

Isiah Thomas Has Decided To Take His Talents Away From The Knicks
He says in a statement: "After speaking with Commissioner Stern and Knicks executives, it has become apparent that my new agreement violates certain NBA bylaws. Because of this, I have decided to rescind my contract with the team." [NYT]...

The Truth About John Terry And Steven Gerrard Revealed
As pointed out many times, The Spoiler is very well connected, with a mob of secret squirrels all over the country, listening through boardroom walls with mini-pint jugs pressed to their ears, smoking endless cigarellos....

Looking Back On It, ESPN Editor Was Very Impressed With ESPN Event
If you're curious what a lame, easily starstruck ESPN shill sounds like after he's been put in close proximity to Very Famous People, please read this wet fart of a column by Page 2 factotum and pizza critic Lynn Hoppes....

ESPN Editor Is Very Impressed With ESPN Event
If you're curious what a lame, easily starstruck ESPN shill sounds like when he's put in close proximity to Very Famous People, please check out the Twitter feed of Page 2 factotum and pizza critic Lynn Hoppes....

Jets Bonus Goes Straight To Cromartie's Baby Mamas
Antonio Cromartie has seven kids by six women in five states, and a partridge in a pear tree. The Jets fronted him some cash to clear up his paternity suits before he reports to camp. Ladies and gentlemen, the NFL!...

Terry Out As England Captain
Fabio Capello today stripped John Terry of his captaincy, and will name a replacement as soon as he can find one who hasn't slept with Vanessa Perroncel. [The FA]...

Bills Hire Football's Answer To Tim Floyd
Chan Gailey, a man who lasted just three preseason games in Kansas City, will now have the honor of being fired by the Bills sometime next November, according to a guy on Adam Schefter's bowling team. [ESPN]...

Yanks On Top Again, All Right With The World
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Minor Leaguer Convicted Of Assault After Basebrawl Gone Wrong
Remember that vicious minor league brawl that took an ugly turn when pitcher Julio Castillo chucked a 90-m.p.h. fastball at an innocent fan? It appears that people were not happy about that! And by people I mean judges and prosecutors....

Your Daily Dead Mets Walking Update
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Another Prerequisite For Referees: Superhuman Vision
The NCAA is expected to enact a policy Wednesday to cut down on flopping by help-side defenders sliding under the basket. Here's the catch: The semi-circle to enforce the rule won't actually be painted, only imaginary, like the chances of this new rule ever working....

Let's Not Jump To Conclusions About Chalmers And Arthur
Yesterday's news about former Jayhawk heroes Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur allegedly getting caught with "marijuana and women" at NBA rookie transition program has put their current teams in a bind (Chalmers was supposed to compete for the Heat's starting point guard job) and their former head c...

The Thing I Do Can Be Related to Current Events So Look At Me!
Below, you will see what it takes for a man to excrete success. Frosted Flakes Gold is not involved, despite what our television just told us. Click to view ...

Nothing To See Here, Please Disperse...Or Is There?
Still spooked by the scary ramifications of uncovering an embarrassing scandal, the IOC said it had officially completed its age investigation of the Chinese gymnastics team. The verdict: totally legit. ...

Your NCAA Champion Kansas Jayhawks
You have to admire a national championship game in which most of the final possessions late in regulation are fast breaks. In a relentlessly entertaining national championship game, the Kansas Jayhawks win their first national championship in 20 years. Bill Self gets his title, and Mario Chalmers s...