Iranian Official: Women Will Not Be Allowed Into Soccer Stadiums Again Because "Half-Naked" Athletes Will Make Them Too Horny

Yesterday, Iran put together a cheap little PR stunt in order to pretend the government cares about its wildly retrograde prohibition against women attending live soccer matches by allowing a handpicked selection of ladies to enter Azadi Stadium to watch a friendly match between Iran and Bolivia. However, Iranian…

Iran Striker Says He Quit National Team Because Fans' Insults Made His Mother Sick

Sardar Azmoun, a 23-year-old striker with the Iranian national team, was perhaps his country’s best hope for offense, both at this World Cup and in future competitions. But Azmoun couldn’t score a goal in any of his team’s three games, and after absorbing the fallout since Iran’s elimination, he seems to have decided…

Iranian Goalie Who Exposed Ronaldo As A Fraud Went From Being A Homeless Runaway To The World Freaking Cup

Portugal was denied the full three points in their 1-1 draw against Iran today, thanks in massive part to a save from Iranian goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand on a Cristiano Ronaldo penalty kick. Ronaldo, who failed to score today, was newly exposed as a massive fraud when his attempt at a powerful shot was absorbed…