irl Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Window And Aisle Seats <i>Should</i> Cost More, Sorry
I’m not buying the anecdote that anchors the New York Times’ latest comically obvious business-trend alert. A Ms. Maury Rogoff claims that on a recent flight, she was not only cursed with a middle seat, but also that said seat left her smack-dab between a bickering couple who argued around her, impe...

Before We Table the Discussion on Our New Color Guard Uniforms, I've Got a Few Things to Say
Look, I know we picked the new uniforms already. But I’ve been giving the matter a lot of thought for the last decade or so, and I’ve got some thoughts, and now I’ve got a forum, and I think I deserve a hearing!...

A Proud Parent's Guide To Dominating Girl Scout Cookie Season
For all the fathers and mothers out there, when Girl Scout Cookie season rolls around, your first and foremost emotion should be relief. It could be worse: You could be dealing with a Boy Scout instead. Those poor saps have to sell popcorn. It’s clearly an inferior product. Everyone loves cookies!...

Let's Watch Unaired Footage Of Celebrities Buying Girl Scout Cookies
Chris Rock performed a bit during tonight’s Academy Awards about his daughters’ Girl Scout troop selling cookies at the ceremony. And they really did sell cookies—with celebrities handing over hundreds for boxes of Thin Mints....

Girls High School Basketball Game Ends 108-1
If there’s one thing you can always rely on high school sports to provide, it’s hilarious box scores. Today’s gift comes to us from a girls basketball game in Cleveland, Ohio, between Gilmour High and Northeast Ohio College Prep....

It Looks Like The 49ers Kicked Out The Girl Scouts For A Beyoncé Concert
Earlier this week, the San Francisco 49ers cancelled a planned sleepover at Levi’s Stadium for the top cookie sellers from Girl Scout troops around Northern California. As a reward for selling the most cookies, the scouts were going to spend the night of May 14 eating pizza and watching a movie on t...

The NFL Can't Stop Pandering At Women
The video starts out simply enough, with a stereotypical pseudo-military march followed by a booming voice announcing “Patriots Today!” and a quick announcement from a corporate sponsor. But this report from the New England Patriots soon takes a turn. There are no highlights of tackles, catches, or ...
![49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gbxjxh88qeuweppwjfvp.jpg)
49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]
The San Francisco 49ers had an agreement with Girl Scout troops around Northern California: The girls who sold the most cookies would get to visit the team’s stadium in May, meet cheerleaders, and enjoy pizza and movies on the field. This week, the team reneged on the deal....

<i>The Danish Girl</i> Makes Transgender Issues Safe For The Oscar Crowd
Of all the adjectives to describe a movie, “well-intentioned” is among the least scintillating and most wearying. It’s why a lot of people have an aversion to so-called Oscar-bait— they’re the kind of films that pop up around award season to address important subjects in a respectful way, with the h...

<i>The Final Girls </i>Is The Nadir Of Meta-Horror, Which Is The Nadir Of Real Horror
If you’re a horror fan, you’ve noticed that every few months, there’s a new entry in the genre that’s explicitly marketed to non-fans, with blogs and critics hyping “your new favorite horror film” and granting best-since-whatever status to a certain kind of movie. Think titles like Tucker & Dale vs....

<i>Purity </i>Went To Communist East Germany And Found Itself
We’ll move further along in Purity in just a moment. First, I want to relay the story of what happened the first time I opened the book up after the last dispatch, in which I discussed how much truer and more knowledgeably written Jonathan Franzen’s one-paragraph description of Santa Cruz’s weather ...

I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...

Gronk Goes Steady
Perpetual air-humping machine Rob Gronkowski busted out for three touchdowns in his first game of the season, but that’s old news. There’s a much more important development: The Patriots tight end is legitimately dating someone....

Classic Man: If Her Pupils Are Dilated, She's Totally Into You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed homemade deodorant; today, let’s figure out how to tell if a woman is hitting on you....

Andrea Pirlo Is Getting PAID In MLS
Despite doling out reams of cash to players like David Villa and Frank Lampard, MLS debutantes NYCFC hadn’t yet snared that big-name, face-of-the-franchise type player you knew they wanted. Until today, that is, when they consummated a months-long flirtation by making Andrea Pirlo the highest-paid p...

Andrea Pirlo Attends NYCFC-Red Bulls Match, Is Enjoying Himself
Sex bomb Andrea Pirlo is rumored to be signing soon to play in MLS with NYCFC, and the Italian heartthrob showed up at Yankee Stadium today to watch his new side take on their crosstown rivals. We’re not totally sure this GIF is safe for work. ...

For A Minnow, Costa Rica's Young Team Is Fun To Watch
There has always been a very clear pecking order in CONCACAF women’s soccer. The United States are the dominant team, and lose infrequently to Canada and even more infrequently to Mexico. They are the only three teams to ever qualify for the World Cup from the continent, but in 2014 Costa Rica becam...

A Clueless Dude's Guide To Women's Makeup
Will knowing anything about the cosmetics women wear directly improve a man's life? Probably not, and they'll likely thank you to stay out of their stuff. But knowledge is power, and there's something to learn from this strange ritual, or at least it's worth knowing why your lady looks one way whe...

List of Kale Items Made With Kale On New McDonald's Menu (With Kale)
The hippies over at Mother Jones magazine drew our attention to how McDonald's "can't decide whether to troll hipsters or embrace them," so while we all figure out which side of the coin ingesting kale falls on, we're wondering about the new McMenu....
