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![49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gbxjxh88qeuweppwjfvp.jpg)
49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]
The San Francisco 49ers had an agreement with Girl Scout troops around Northern California: The girls who sold the most cookies would get to visit the team’s stadium in May, meet cheerleaders, and enjoy pizza and movies on the field. This week, the team reneged on the deal....
<i>The Danish Girl</i> Makes Transgender Issues Safe For The Oscar Crowd
Of all the adjectives to describe a movie, “well-intentioned” is among the least scintillating and most wearying. It’s why a lot of people have an aversion to so-called Oscar-bait— they’re the kind of films that pop up around award season to address important subjects in a respectful way, with the h...
<i>The Final Girls </i>Is The Nadir Of Meta-Horror, Which Is The Nadir Of Real Horror
If you’re a horror fan, you’ve noticed that every few months, there’s a new entry in the genre that’s explicitly marketed to non-fans, with blogs and critics hyping “your new favorite horror film” and granting best-since-whatever status to a certain kind of movie. Think titles like Tucker & Dale vs....
<i>Purity </i>Went To Communist East Germany And Found Itself
We’ll move further along in Purity in just a moment. First, I want to relay the story of what happened the first time I opened the book up after the last dispatch, in which I discussed how much truer and more knowledgeably written Jonathan Franzen’s one-paragraph description of Santa Cruz’s weather ...
I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...
Gronk Goes Steady
Perpetual air-humping machine Rob Gronkowski busted out for three touchdowns in his first game of the season, but that’s old news. There’s a much more important development: The Patriots tight end is legitimately dating someone....
Classic Man: If Her Pupils Are Dilated, She's Totally Into You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed homemade deodorant; today, let’s figure out how to tell if a woman is hitting on you....
Andrea Pirlo Is Getting PAID In MLS
Despite doling out reams of cash to players like David Villa and Frank Lampard, MLS debutantes NYCFC hadn’t yet snared that big-name, face-of-the-franchise type player you knew they wanted. Until today, that is, when they consummated a months-long flirtation by making Andrea Pirlo the highest-paid p...
Andrea Pirlo Attends NYCFC-Red Bulls Match, Is Enjoying Himself
Sex bomb Andrea Pirlo is rumored to be signing soon to play in MLS with NYCFC, and the Italian heartthrob showed up at Yankee Stadium today to watch his new side take on their crosstown rivals. We’re not totally sure this GIF is safe for work. ...
For A Minnow, Costa Rica's Young Team Is Fun To Watch
There has always been a very clear pecking order in CONCACAF women’s soccer. The United States are the dominant team, and lose infrequently to Canada and even more infrequently to Mexico. They are the only three teams to ever qualify for the World Cup from the continent, but in 2014 Costa Rica becam...
A Clueless Dude's Guide To Women's Makeup
Will knowing anything about the cosmetics women wear directly improve a man's life? Probably not, and they'll likely thank you to stay out of their stuff. But knowledge is power, and there's something to learn from this strange ritual, or at least it's worth knowing why your lady looks one way whe...
List of Kale Items Made With Kale On New McDonald's Menu (With Kale)
The hippies over at Mother Jones magazine drew our attention to how McDonald's "can't decide whether to troll hipsters or embrace them," so while we all figure out which side of the coin ingesting kale falls on, we're wondering about the new McMenu....
HS Basketball Team Booted From Playoffs For Wearing "Illegal Uniforms"
The Nathaniel Narbonne High School (Harbor City, Calif.) girls basketball team has lost their place in the Los Angeles City Section Open Division finals—and has been barred from the state tournament—for wearing "illegal uniforms" in Saturday's semifinal victory over View Park Preparatory Accelerat...
Girls HS Basketball Teams Booted From Postseason For Playing To Lose
When the Riverdale High School and Smyrna High School (Tenn.) girls basketball teams met in the District 7-AAA consolation game Saturday night, facing them were a perverse set of incentives. The winner would be on track to face national power Blackman in the semifinals of the Region 4-AAA playoffs, ...
Andrea Pirlo's Bomb From 30 Yards Out Is Almost As Majestic As His Beard
This is the perfect Andrea Pirlo goal. Firmly parked way behind the action—a distance he's made a career out of dominating games from—he collects the ball, eyes up the goal frame, and hoofs in a shot that has no business beating the keeper. It's less a violent blast of power than an meticulously cra...
Report: Catholic League Coach Mucked With College Prospects Of Rivals
The Neumann-Goretti High School (Philadelphia) girls basketball team is one of the best in the country, with an 18-0 record and currently ranked first by USA Today. Two of the team's players emigrated to the United States from Nigeria, and one of them, senior forward Christina Aborowa, signed a nati...
High School Snaps 84-Game Losing Streak In Double OT Playing 3 v. 5
The Climax-Fisher High School (Minnesota) girls basketball team packed a whole lot into their 62-58 victory over Bagley High School on Tuesday. Most importantly, the win ended Climax-Fisher's 84-game losing streak. The streak was so long that, according to The Forum, it was head coach Jonathon Vones...
TCU Got Screwed, And That's The Point
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering LeBron and Kate, toilet coffee, jar monkeys, and more....
Some Fun Photos Of LeBron James And The Royal Couple
A story in photos:...