it Page 1599 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Team Is A Fan Of Being On Probation
Please don't take any "What cast member of 'Saved By The Bell' is your 4-star basketball recruit?" quizzes on Facebook, unless you want your program to get slapped with an NCAA violation for being dumb....

Well, That's One Way To Fire Your Trainer
Miguel Cotto's split with his uncle/manager Evangelista Cotto on Wednesday was completely peaceful, except for the ugly brawl and the cinder block through the window of his new jaguar....

Savor This Moment, Because It May Never Happen Again
It's rare that one can say this and mean it, so one must make it count: Yesterday's victory over the White Sox gave the Kansas City Royals sole possession of first place in the AL Central....

He Obviously Ate The Cheez Doodles First
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

This Is Why The Internet Wins
In a day inundated with depressing news, it only seems fitting to end it with mindless insanity courtesy of Mr. Ufford at Warming Glow. This is your reward for being respectful today....

High School Basketball Without The High Schools
Sports Illustrated has a very curious story this week about Findlay Prep, the team that won ESPN's inaugrual RISE National High School Invitational tournament last weekend. There's just one issue—Findlay Prep is not a high school....

Nooooooooooo!
Well this is just sad. A Canadian sporting event without beer is just, well, it's sparsely attended, for starters. Poor hosers....

UNC Student Burned But Proud
As we learned in Lord of the Flies, dancing near bonfires often leads to the collapse of the social structure, and on occasion a trip to the North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center....

This Is How Skip Bayless Keeps His Mouth In Shape
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Barry Zito Uses Twitter To Talk About His New Kitchen Appliances
"It's cold in my room, but my Dutch oven warms me up..." [Pacman Jonesin']...

Here's Your 'Man Streaks Little League Game' Story For Today
Port St. Lucie (Fla.) police are looking for a man who sped naked across the outfield at a youth baseball game on Thursday. Yeah, might as well set your sights high, dude....

Do Not Cross The Hillsdale College Baseball Team
In a tradition as old as baseball itself, an editor who criticized the Hillsdale College (Mich.) baseball team's putrid record found his front porch decorated with dead animal carcasses, including a shotgunned goat....

Ted Kennedy Still Looked Better Than Lincecum
"Thank God this isn't Deadspin, or the comments would be loaded with 1.3 retarded Massholes typing "GO SOX!!1!!!@!!!" [Wonkette]...

Lions Take Stafford At No. 1. Rams, You Are Now On The Clock
At least that's what Pro Football Talk is reporting, with the caveat that interest in the Georgia QB may just be a clever smokescreen (ha ha, but anyway ...). [Pro Football Talk]...

Tank Johnson Is Obviously Confident That He's A Changed Man
The former Bear/Cowboy/convict has just signed a one year deal with...the Cincinnati Bengals. [ESPN]...

Tommy "The Hitman" Hearns Reduced To Fighting Chickens
Good job, Michigan State. Your failure to rescue the city of Detroit from financial ruin has forced a once great boxing champion to play tic-tac-toe against poultry for money. I hope you're happy....

I See No Negative Safety Implications Here
If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that the new Indoor Football League is completely safe for both players and fans. But then I'm still holding on to Enron stock....

Bias, Bensonhurst, The Perma Tourist And The New York Mets
This is a new weekly column from Leitch. It has words, and pictures. It's called Ten Humans Of The Week. It might or might not work. But here it is....

Maybe B.J. Raji Isn't A Dopehead
Oh, anonymous sources ... you've done it again. Those crazy "web logs" have reported that at least six football players failed pre-draft drug tests, which the players naturally deny. So whose pants are on fire?...

An Oddly Fitting End To Detroit's Final Four
All week long we heard about how much this game meant for the city of Detroit. Since the "Detroit" team was left a humbled, burned-out shell of its former self, I'd say that's appropriate....