it Page 1608 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who's Up For Condom Shopping With Anna Kournikova?
No, no — it's not what you think. She's training to be a Haitian drug mule....

Big, Bold ESPN Book Will Showcase Bristol's Not Ready For Primetime Players
Yesterday it was revealed that Tom Shales and James A. Miller, co-authors of the fascinating Live From New York! uncensored history of SNL are currently working on one about ESPN. Brace yourselves....

Albert Haynesworth Becomes Highest Paid Face-Stomper In History
The Redskins, still spending like it's 2002, have inked the Titans' menacing defensive tackle to a 7-year, $100 million deal. [Redskins Insider]...

Unfortunate Ad Placement, New York Mets Edition
Well, this can't be good for ticket sales. Couldn't the Mets advertise for tickets on a page with stories about puppies? (Thanks to Matt Leibman) [CNN Money]...

How About A Rasheed Wallace Flip Out For Old Time's Sake?
The Detroit Pistons are free falling and when a tenuous group of aging veterans begins to run out of gas late in the season that's usually a perfect time for an embarrassing on-court temper tantrum....

You People Better Watch What You Say About Erin Andrews
America's Sideline Princess has the patience of Job when it comes to her internet "fans," but sometimes folks go too far—and she admits she's not above lawyering up if the need arises....

The Real Reason For Jeff Reed's Towel Tantrum
I know the idea of Jeff Reed, drunk in a gas station bathroom at 3:00 a.m. sounds improbable, but there was actually a very good reason for it. He was paid to do it!...

Andy Phillips Assures Everyone That He's Not The Carl Pavano/Greg Dobbs/John Cena Impersonator
"Anyone who knows me knows I would never have been involved in anything remotely close to something like that." [Pirates Report]...

Revisiting Jeff Reed's Paper Towel Freakout: An Investigative Report
You're probably thinking to yourself, "Hey, did they ever fix the towel dispenser that Jeff Reed broke?" That or you were thinking of pie. Quite often it's pie....

Claude Lemieux Returns To Detroit
Everyone involved wants play down this momentous occasion, but as a struggling hockey fan desperate for drama and intrigue, tonight's Sharks-Red Wings game is the most explosive moment in hockey history!...

Skip Bayless Poised To Aggravate Troy Aikman All Over Again
Before he was a professional devil's advocate on ESPN's morning yap programs, Skip Bayless was a semi-successful writer. And his ink-stained career is probably best remembered for pissing the shit out of Troy Aikman....

Kentucky Fans Forced To Relive "The Shot" For All Eternity
Christian Laettner, Rick Pitino and Vitamin Water have teamed up to annoy the crap out of you this March, with 50,000 repetitions of a commercial about the moment when they both peaked. Spoiler Alert! [KSR]...

Washington State QB Suspended Due To Suspicious "Bag Of Vomit"
Marshall Lobbestael was arrested after being found in a car parked in front of the Pullman police station, "allegedly passed out with a grocery bag of vomit between his legs." But it's all a frame up, see!...

Dave Bing Wants To Be Mayor Of Detroit For Some Reason
Here's all you need to know about Dave Bing: He enters campaign rallies to the tune of "The Final Countdown," as an announcer yells: "Here's your favorite Detroit Piston, starting for the City of Detroit!"...

Pittsburgh Still Having Trouble With This No. 1 Thing
One week ago, Pittsburgh was an unstoppable juggernaut asserting their dominance by thrashing a previously unbeatable behemoth. Today, everyone is scratching their heads and saying, "What's wrong with those guys?"...

The Washington Capitals Do It For The Ladies
Hey, Girls! Do you and the gals love to gab about hockey at your slumber parties? Because the Capitals would love to see a few extra broads in the seats at their next home game....

Shaquille O'Neal Should Probably Have His Twitter Taken Away From Him
Shaq's Twittering accomplishments are more noteworthy than anything he or the Phoenix Suns have done so far this year. But with his latest Twitter stunt, The Big Aristo-Diesel is just asking for trouble....

Hallmark Presents The South Dakota State Jackrabbits
South Dakota State's women's basketball team is ranked higher than Tennessee in the current USA Today poll. Their best player also has a tug-at-your-heartstrings story that's gotta be worth three Mitch Albom columns. [USA Today]...

Open Your Wallets: Dan Orlovsky Is On The Market
"[The Detroit Lions] made an offer, but I'm going to test the market and see what's out there for me," Orlovsky said. "I'm pretty confident that I'm going to get a better offer." [AP]...