it Page 1640 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Ditka's Balance Is Not What It Used To Be
I've never been to a celebrity roast for anyone but I like to think this happens every time. Paul Hornung takes the stage and welcomes the roastee to the rostrum, roastee is wasted, knocks over his own table when standing, and then crumbles to the ground when shoved by Hornung. See Mr. Bear's finest...
Phil Mickelson and John Daly Might As Well Go Get Wasted in a Pub
Rolling into the British Open Phil Mickelson was optimistic this could be his year. By 10:30 eastern, we knew that wasn't the case. The Hefty Left swung his manboobs from one side of the fairway to the other on his way to a robust 79. At least he didn't waste any time taking himself out of competiti...
90-Year-Old Pittsburgh Woman Rocking New Steelers Tat
Probably to cover up for the fact that she can't have wet dreams about Steely McBeam anymore. Now that everyone on earth but me has a tattoo, will old people in the future who don't have tattoos be the exception? Deep thoughts....
Buzz And Me: An FAQ
Those foolish enough to miss the season premiere of "Project Runway" — and those not "connected" enough for ESPY tickets — might have stumbled across the newest episode of "Costas Now" last night. It was entirely about baseball. Hey, I love baseball! That didn't make the show any less dull; that i...
World Cup 2010: South Africa's Plans to Legalize Prostitution Scrutinized
When are John McCain and Barack Obama going to step up to the plate and demand legalization for the Super Bowl? Pansies, I tell you, each of them. The South African plan would only legalize prostitution for the length of the World Cup and then the laws would return to normal. Just like the marriages...
British Open Preview: Living In A World Without Tigers
This year, please welcome back Shane Bacon, golfing bon vivant from Dogs That Chase Cars, as he gives us a fantastic preview to this year's British Open. It can still be interesting without Tiger. Right?...
John Daly and Butch Harmon in Catfight on Eve of British Open
After swing coach Butch Harmon said Daly was more interested in drinking and having a good time than he was in being a good golfer. Daly, who is more interested in drinking and having a good time than being a good golfer, took offense. Now he's finally firing back from England. Sort of....
Tim Lincecum Being Tended To By Paramedics In NYC Hotel?
Apparently, Giants' young gun Tim Lincecum was seen being tended to by paramedics at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in New York City. "Could be just the flu", the tipster said....
Remember To Have Sympathy For Jim Leyritz Tonight
Former Yankees' catcher Jim Leyritz, seen above, wobbling and ivehashjushacoupladrinksh-ing for Fort Lauderdale police before his DUI arrest last Dec. 28th is upset. That night Leyritz, 44, was involved in an accident with 30-year-old Plantation, Fla., native Freida Veitch. Veitch had a BAC of .18, ...
Hunter S. Thompson, Those Old ESPN Columns And Large Wads Of Cocaine
Honestly, I had forgotten that Hunter S. Thompson had written for Page 2 until I watched "Gonzo," the new documentary about Mr. Duke (produced by my old pal Mark Cuban). I'm pretty embarrassed to have forgotten it; it's like I blocked it out. I suspect many of you feel the same way; those columns ...
Tony And Jessica Think That Journey Totally Rocks
It wasn't all fun and wetness at the American Century Championship golf tournament at Lake Tahoe this weekend. Tony Romo and a very orange Jessica Simpson spent some quality time at the Journey/Heart/Cheap Trick concert at Harveys outdoor arena on Saturday night. Here they are arriving for the festi...
Dan Patrick Bites Back (Softly) At Jason Whitlock
Unamused by Jason Whitlock's "Football Night In America" take-down piece, Dan Patrick fired back at the mighty Whitlock today on his radio show. Patrick was pretty reserved, but seemed a little miffed at how he was painted by Whitlock as a person "who doesn't care about football." Patrick said on ai...
Charles Barkley Knows Not Of These 'Blogs' You Speak Of
So I was mocked repeatedly for my "interview" with Charles Barkley on Thursday, when I introduced myself and told him that I would be blogging his rounds all weekend. Yes, it somewhat resembled Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney. But I'll have you know that from that brief exchange came the ca...
Don't Worry Golfers; Kevin Has Your Back
So if Kevin Malone were organizing a dream golf foursome, what three Office characters would he choose? That's a tough one (answer following the jump). One thing you should know, though: Brian Baumgartner has very little in common with Kevin Malone. Except that both are funny....
The Biggest Attractions In Tahoe Were Not Necessarily Golfers
It's true: Tony Romo did fall into a pond at the American Century Championship. And was rescued by a hockey player. But practically no one noticed, as Jessica Simpson was rocking the white dress with the orange whoozits and wowing the crowd with her intellectual prowess. Typical exchange: "Jessica! ...
This Has Become One Famous Wingnut
By now you've seen the exquisite tirade of Wichita Wingnuts manager Kash Beachamp, who executed both the smelly shoe and the armpit maneuver in an argument with a home plate umpire in an Independent American Association game last week. Well, the commotion has still not died down. Who would have thou...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while rescheduling your teen gun giveaway......
Favre Protesters Mark The Coming Of End Times
The Favre shit is going to drag out longer than the war in Iraq. First presidential candidate to put the kibosh on this story gets my vote in the next six elections. It can even be Ralph Nader. He was right about the Kings-Lakers series years back, after all. Anyway, a bunch of fucking Cheesetards ...
Wladimir Klitschko vs. Tony Thompson Open Thread
Wladimir Klitschko and Tony Thompson are readying to square off in Hamburg (in Color Line Arena, no less) for the heavyweight title on HBO. Ukraine's Klitschko is the heavy favorite, but D.C. native Thompson (whose back story was sufficiently limned by this insidious rag) has the power and size, if...
That's A Stanley Cup You Can Keep
Every team that wins the Stanley Cup parties hard with the Holy Grail. The Detroit Red Wings are no different, even if they've been a little rough with the trophy. Most teams, however, don't allow family members to shit in it, as Kris Draper did....