it Page 1643 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Our Pick For The Worst Football Coach
We've already made fun of Norv Turned today, but, you know, at least he has shown some aptitude as an offensive coordinator in several different locals. If he weren't coaching the Chargers right now, we might not even be thinking about him — even praising him. But there's no excuse for Dave Wannsted...
God Apologizes For Helping Kitna
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline's Clay Travis has talked to God, and he's sorry...
You Will Believe A Man Can Fly
We are no experts on the art of the dance, but from most accounts, for a guy with a replaced hip, Mark Cuban did all right on "Dancing With The Stars" last evening. But we have absolutely no idea how he got this high in the air. It kind of freaks us out a little bit; DeSagana Diop is seven feet tal...
R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...
Hockey's Almost Here, In Case You've, Like, Forgotten Eh
If Chris Simon and Ryan Hollweg are trying to kill each other, you know that the NHL regular season can't be far off. Saturday, to be exact; unless there's an earlier game I didn't detect, which is entirely possible. Anyway, drama on the slippery surface! If you're planning on attending an opener, h...
How To Bring Your Car Back From The Pound
Not much is worse than having your car towed. We once had our old Toyota Camry towed in St. Louis, and we had to take a cab to a lot in which — and we don't want to overstate this — Beezlebub himself required us to give him 200 bucks in cash. Our keys were covered in sulfur. It's not a fun place to ...
Joba Is The New F—k Lion
By now, you've probably seen these photos of various New York Yankees rookies dressing up like characters from The Wizard Of Oz. We definitely enjoy Joba Chamberlain's impersonation of a f—k lion....
Kansas City Wolf Will Protect This House!
Notice how the guy is enjoying his moment in the sun until confronted by the wolf, at which point he hesitates like a frightened deer, allowing stadium security to mop him up. This is classic wolf hunting technique; the alpha male driving the prey toward the rest of the pack, which then brings it do...
That'll Be All For The Saints
When our heart bleeds today, it bleeds for Balk: The Saints, after their brief moment of excitement and inspiration, appear to suck again. It was fun while it lasted....
Love (And The NL Wild Card) Is A Battlefield
This photo is from Sunday, but it tells you all you need to know about the Padres right now. Milton Bradley being helped off the field, his season ended due to injury after a run-in with an umpire. San Diego had already lost center fielder Mike Cameron to an injury, meaning that two-thirds of their...
MNF Heads Back To New Orleans
We suspect that tonight's "Monday Night Football" telecast from the Superdome will have the electricity and emotion of last year's MNF game, if just because we don't think Bono's gonna make the trip this year. (However: "Cowboy Mouth" will be in the house!_...
Many Burritos Died To Bring You This Information
When it comes to masked vigilantes and their burritos, consider Deadspin your No. 1 news source. Eater X, otherwise known as Tim Janus of New York City, is your new world burrito-eating champion. Defeating foes such as Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, "Crazy Legs" Conti and Tim "Gravy" Brown, Janus c...
Pat White Has A Special Friend
West Virginia quarterback Pat White would seem like the guy who has everything. NFL-ready talent — we guess — a spot on one of college football's best team and, you know, he's kind of handsome, if you're into that sort of thing. But the guy just wants more....
Gentlemen (And Ladies), Start Your Burritos
Since the burrito is the official food of Deadspin, we couldn't end the day without reporting on this. The Costa Vida World Burrito Eating Championship is set for Saturday in Portland, Maine, and you do not want to miss this classic faceoff. The colorful stars of burrito eating tend to put their hot...
MLB.com Has Hip, Timely Music Connections
A few bewildered thoughts after watching Elton John hanging out with the Atlanta Braves on MLB.com....
That Series Of Tubes Can Be Confusing
When you think of all the technological wizardry NFL coaches have at their dispersal, we wonder sometimes if the next world-changing innovation will spawn from the mind of a Dorito-peppered slouch coach bunkered in his office at 4 a.m., watching game film and suddenly discovering cold fusion. They c...
Rage Against The Machine
This happened a while ago, but hey, whaddya gonna do? Stationary bikes, meant to bring mankind together through the shared experience of pointless effort, have instead become instruments of violence and wanton destruction. Let the record show that the first recorded incident of "spin rage" occurred ...
Suddenly, There Just Aren't Enough Hockey Tickets To Go Around
With every story about the NHL seemingly existing only to make fun of it, here's a good one: The Sabres-Penguins game, scheduled for New Years Day at Ralph Wilson Stadium, sold 42,000 tickets in 25 minutes. We might question the wisdom of having a huge event like that on a day dominated by college f...