it Page 1685 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brian Bellows Is A Superstar
I hate to cheat on YouTube, but we’re going to close today with this Google Video. It’s Kevin Stevens and Bryan Trottier of the Penguins harassing Brian Bellows of the Minnesota North Stars... and for some reason, I can’t stop watching this. I can’t thank the Airing of Grievances enough for the find...

If You Want To Throw Down In Fisticuffs, Fine.
White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski plowed into Cubs catcher Michael Barrett at the plate, and Barrett felt that it was an inappropriate touch. He got up, wrapped Pierzynski up in a little hug so they could chat for a quick second, and then he popped him in the face. It was a short right cross that ...

And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......

LeBron Goes For It All Tonight
No. 1 email we've received over the last 48 hours: "Hey, asshead, still think LeBron's playoff debut is unremarkable?" (Answer: OK, maybe he's doing all right.)...

Record For Stuffing Face With Pig Ass In Jeopardy
You're probably going to make fun of us here, but we consider competitive eating a sport. We do. We never had until we worked with writer Larry Getlen on his story "The Champions Of Consumption" for The Black Table, our old stomping grounds. The two-part series looked at the history of competitive...

Danny Almonte Is Way Too Eager To Be An Adult
Remember Danny Almonte, the dominant Little League World Series star from The Bronx from a few years who turned out to be two years older than the maximum age? Well — at this should make anyone who remembers the Almonte business feel extremely old — he just got married ... and she's 11 years older...

We Are All Stunned
Well. It's little wonder the The NBA Is Back! platitudes are being brought back out there. This is downright fun....

LeBron's Chance To Take Over
Well, for those of you who are just now waking up from that Clippers-Suns epic last night, there's no time to rest, people. Two more games tonight, with the Mavericks trying to finish off the defending champions and, most compellingly, LeBron James and the Cavaliers continuing their unlikely quest...

Dirk Nowitzki Gets His Hasselhoff On
We suppose, had we put two and two together, we could have seen this coming. In a way, it has a certain spectacular cosmic inevitability....

Neil Everett's Death Wish
We're not sure whether or not to think Neil Everett is:...

Somehow ... The Series Is TIED?
As we wait for Mark Cuban to sleep off what is almost certainly an enormous (and well-earned) hangover, we turn our morning attentions to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. (No offense to the Mavericks, of course; we are one step closer to the sublime possibility of David Stern handing the ...

Hey, These Playoffs Are Getting Kind Of Fun
If you're one of those cynical souls who doesn't take Rasheed Wallace's word as gospel, we should be in for quite an intriguing evening of basketball. In the first game, we get to find out if this will be a forgettable early chapter in LeBron James' playoff career or if becomes something unique, spe...

Joey Porter, Security Risk
As almost everyone surely remembers from last season's Pittsburgh Steelers postseason run, linebacker Joey Porter is insane. Porter's patented crazy land technique is, to make sure he's appropriately pumped up for whatever endeavor he is about to undertake, concoct some insult or slight that his o...

The Closer: We're Up 7-3; What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Game Three To The LeBrons
LeBron James racked up a triple double, and it seemed like all of it came within the last four minutes of the game, as the Cavs finally took a game from the Pistons, 86-77. The stretch run of this one resembled an old NBA Live videogame where you can just take one unstoppable player and dominate. ...

Onterrio, Canada
Having been released by the Minnesota Vikings, and suspended until at least October, running back Onterrio Smith is heading to the Canadian Football League, where the laws about fake penises are much more relaxed....

Quite Frankly With Scott Van Pelt
We never quite know what to do with Scott Van Pelt. He seems like an intelligent enough guy and is smart-alecky without being overly, soul-crushingly obnoxious about it. But, man, those catchphrases. The guy is positively Berman-esque, minus the "You're with me, leather." We'll admit to cringing w...

Beetlejuice Sounds Off On The Pirates
You thought Mark Cuban was the only celebrity Pittsburgh Pirates fan? Don't forget about Michael Keaton, famous for Batman, Mr. Mom and, of course, Jack Frost. Keaton threw out the first pitch at the Pirates' opening day yesterday, and, with the Pirates already stinking it up, cut loose on Pirates...

Detroit Tigers 5-0, Fans Confused
The perennially downtrodden Detroit Tigers, you may have noticed, are currently unefeated, which is just confusing the hell out of Tigers fans. I feel like the fact that the Tigers have sucked is the universe's way of balancing out the success of the Pistons and Red Wings, but it's still nice to s...