it Page 1686 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Video Game Version Of What You'd Look Like Playing Hockey
This is Shawn Chambers, who played 23 years in the NHL and won two Stanley Cups. He also has a more modern, odder distinction: He's the worst video game athlete in history....
About Last Night
What you missed while trying to erase your Dumbledore tattoo ... • MLB: Yeah, where's your Messiah now? Red Sox 13, Rockies 1. • NHL: Minnesota's reign of terror has ended. Flames 5, Wild 3. • Tennis: Andy Roddick is upset ... you would be too, if you were beaten by someone named Fabrice....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after some guy with a pocket knife completely ruins the Niceville Mullet Festival for everyone (so typical) ... • MLB: World Series, Game 1, Colorado at Boston. Contrary to popular belief, God couldn't care less. [Fox] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Olympiakos at Real Madrid. We will...
Maybe Next Time He'll Use Mapquest
Welcome to Long Island; a primitive, lawless land where roving gangs of youth sports parents will take you down like a wounded wildebeast. Snake Pliskin won't even go in there anymore. Last week we told you of the inspiring story of two mob-connected brothers who beat up a Little League coach for be...
A Look At Dirk Nowitzki
We're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is the real alph...
Tony Romo Knows That To Impress Girls, You've Got To Have Skills
Why, why, Tony Romo? You and Carrie Underwood were so perfect for each other! And now this conniving temptress Sophia Bush comes between you? Is there nothing to believe in anymore?...
Whose Side Is George Mitchell On?
As Ken Rosenthal related in his column yesterday, one of the first things Paul Byrd asked after being interviewed about that whole HGH business was, "Isn't George Mitchell with the Red Sox?"...
Goodnight, Sweet Prancing Prince
It's a sad day, kids, but we knew someday this national joyride had to end: Mark Cuban has been been booted from "Dancing With The Stars." We know. We're sorry we have to be the ones to tell you....
About Last Night
What you missed while recovering from paintball injuries ... • NFL: Hey, the Colts have a defense too. Indianapolis 29, Jacksonviille 7. • NBA: Knicks' exhibition win over Celtics probably won't be repeated any time soon. New York 94, Boston 87. • Soccer: Whose your daddy? Not Greg Ryan, who is out ...
Which City Has The Ugliest People?
It's a question which has tortured us since we first read it about an hour ago: Which city has the ugliest people? Actually, this survey conducted by CNN News and Travel & Leisure Magazine is not confined to sports fans; it lists the cities with the ugliest residents overall. There were several cate...
We Are All Calvinists
• I was rather impressed with Calvin Johnson's endaround touchdown where he eluded about three tackles by himself and had great wide receiver blocking downfield. The Buccaneers adorably recovered the onside kick late in the game and nailed a field goal, but couldn't get another onside kick to go the...
Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...
When The Floor Sinks, You've Made A Bad Purchase
We know that NBA players often move around a lot, but Allen Iverson just took it to an extreme: He bought a place in Atlanta and moved his whole family out in 60 days....
Kevin Costner Gets To Pretend He Plays Baseball Again
With their whole name change — no more evil Rays! — Tampa Bay is unveiling their new uniforms next month. And they're bringing out the big guns for the experience....
This Ain't Over
Don't be confused everyone, it's me, Unsilent Majority. I'm filling in tonight because Will was delayed in his travels or he just doesn't love you anymore...the text message wasn't entirely clear on that matter....
The Ugly American Watches Futbol
Kristen Pettit is a book editor — actually, she's our book editor — and took a trip to Buenos Aires last week, where she witnessed the glory of a La Boca soccer game. Her amusing report from the front lines is after the jump....