its Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

For The Person Who Always Thought <i>The Wizard Of Oz</i> Was Crap Without Boston Sports Teams
I have two pieces of excellent news for you. First, this work of art, "There's No Place Like Home," can be yours for only $1,000. A thousand bucks! What a bargain for this "beautiful hand painted mural by and up and coming local artist." You can't just walk into the Musee d'Orsay and take home a Gau...

Four Holes-In-One In One Day, On One Course? A Dirty Lie, And The Hoaxed Reporter Is Furious.
I'm the cynical and also jealous sort, so when I see a story in the paper about some 10-year-old kid or cancer survivor or 98-year-old lady hitting a hole-in-one, I automatically think, liar. No you didn't. Stop lying to the newspaper, you goddamned liar. This is a personal failing on my part, but y...

Lance Armstrong Drops Fight Against Doping Charges, Will Likely Be Stripped Of Tour Titles And Banned For Life
Seven-time Tour de France-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong has dropped his fight against doping charges leveled at him by the US Anti-Doping Agency. This means that he likely will be stripped of each Tour de France title and banned from competitive cycling for life. Specifically, he'll be stripped o...

Rich Old Cracker Says Incompetent Woman Can Play Golf At His Stupid Club
I am a man. I woke up feeling great about myself today, but I didn't know why. Now I totally do!...

Woman Who Sat For A While On A Hot Bench Outside Cowboys Stadium Now Suing Jerry Jones
How long were you on this planet before you realized that hot things hurt, and you shouldn't touch them? A few months? A year or two, tops? So when you see a black marble bench, baking in a summer Texas sun on a 101-degree day, maybe you think, hey, it's probably hot, I shouldn't sit there. And even...

What The Discus Can Teach You About Life: Lessons From One Of America's Greatest Throwers
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Mac Wilkins, one of the United States' greatest all-around throwers. ...

How A Career Ends: Dominique Moceanu, America's Youngest Gold-Medal Gymnast
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Dominique Moceanu, the youngest American, at age 14, to ever win an Olympic gold medal in gymnastics. Moceanu was part of the Magnificent Seven—along with Sha...

Joe West Gets Clobbered Upside The Head, Starts Bleeding, Does Not Break Into Song
It was a tough night behind the dish for Joe West, who got knocked hard in the ol' noodle by the follow-through of Carlos Lee's swing. The game was delayed for a few minutes while West was attended to by the Braves' medical staff. Sadly, as far as we know, he did not pass the time by humming a few...

How A Career Ends: Nancy Hogshead-Makar, Olympic Swimming Gold Medalist
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Nancy Hogshead-Makar, a 50-year-old mother of three, tenured professor at the Florida Coastal School of Law, and the Senior Director of Advocacy at the Women'...

NBC Also Edited Out A Tribute Featuring Two Dead U.S. Servicemen From Their Opening Ceremony Broadcast
NBC explained that it skipped a memorial to terrorism victims in its broadcast of the Olympic opening ceremony because its show was "tailored for our American audience." While cutting that part of the show, NBC also skipped a transitional segment called the "Wall of Remembrance"—which included memo...

Penn State "Adequately Covered" For Impending Civil Suits
Penn State president Rodney Erickson recently sat down with Bob Schieffer of CBS's Face The Nation program for an interview that will be aired tomorrow. The clip below focuses on the looming civil suits against Penn State and the school's preparedness to handle them....

Ricky Williams's Foundation For At-Risk Kids Has Been Taken Over By A Rasputin-Inspired Cult
The Ricky Williams Foundation was started "to be instrumental in the physical, mental, emotional and educational development of at-risk individuals from low social-economic communities." You wouldn't expect anything less from Ricky Williams, by all accounts one of the nicest, most genuine guys in fo...

Fishing Supply Store Called "Master Bait Shop" Causes Adorable Uproar In Small-Town Virginia
We've all been there. And by there, I mean middle school. Michael DeClue, the owner of the Orange County Master Bait Shop ("Home of the Fattest Worm in Town!") Orange, Va., has never left. And thank god for that....

Reds Analyst Chris Welsh Ransacked Don Cherry's Wardrobe
If there's anything a sports commentator can do to prove he (or she) is grounded and sane, it's to wear a ridiculous outfit. After all, it works for Craig Sager and Don Cherry. So here's Fox Sports Ohio Reds analyst Chris Welsh sprucing up his usual outfit with a colorful number we're not quite sur...

This Lady Might Show Her Hoo-ha For Five Hundred Canadian Bucks
Meet Christa, licensed cosmetologist, office secretary, and all-around refined lady. Christa disapproves of all those painted-up trollops on TV who go around flashing their delicate flowers. In fact, she has a sound piece of advice for celebs who complain that their "nudie pictures" are being shar...

Nick Saban's Daughter Sued For Allegedly Beating The Shit Out Of One Of Her Sorority Sisters
Flying under the radar during all of this morning's Penn State news is a startling story concerning University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's daughter. Kristen Saban is being sued by one of her sorority sisters after Saban allegedly assaulted her....

Lance Armstrong Gets Smacked Down By An Angry Judge
Yesterday, Lance Armstrong filed a long, rambling complaint, seeking to halt USADA's charges against him for a years-long doping conspiracy. Facing a lifetime ban and being stripped of his seven Tour de France titles, Armstrong's complaint ran 80 pages, blasting USADA executive Travis Tygart for his...

Lance Armstrong Files Suit Against USADA And Its "Kangaroo Court"
Lance Armstrong is through fucking around. The latest doping charges against the seven-time Tour De France winner and world-class bully have been answered, not with evidence or witnesses, but with a lawsuit. Armstrong has taken the US Anti-Doping Agency to federal court, claiming that USADA's charge...

Rawlings Sues Wilson Over Brandon Phillips's "Gold" Glove
The Gold Gloves are mostly pointless, and largely a corporate gimmick. (They're officially the Rawlings Gold Glove Awards, and have been since 1957, when they were thought up by a Rawlings sales manager for some free advertising.) They have cachet, because they're voted on by managers and coaches, a...

Cherry-Pit Spitting Contest Makes For Great Copy
This is a great article for a sweaty Saturday evening. It's short, sweet and absolutely absurd. Let's start with the headline:...