its Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bengals Cheerleader Does Not Have Venereal Diseases, Court Says
Holy gonorrhea! Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones won $11 million from a libel suit against The Dirty.com, which ran an item alleging she was all jacked-up with STD's courtesy of her bed-hopping ex-boyfriend. Not so.[Cincinnati.com]...

For Fuck's Sake, Bama Fans
Tide fans spend way too much time debating whether this cloud looks like Bear Bryant, or maybe "Abe Lincoln on a personal watercraft." Way to live up to your stereotypes, folks. [ABC33, via EDSBS]...

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

Community College Baseball Player Has The Heart Of A Champion
Alec Cortez, of San Bernardino Valley College, sent this video to more than 100 schools, just looking for a chance to show of his skills. And what skills they are....

Former Aspiring Olympian Files Sex-Abuse Suit Against US Swimming, Coach
The USA Swimming sex scandal deepens, what with former Olympic hopeful Jancy Thompson talking to ABC News about filing a sexual-misconduct lawsuit. It includes accusations of being forced to wear a dog collar....

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sean Salisbury Drops His Lawsuit Against Gawker Media, Me
Hear ye. The lawsuit brought forth by an aggrieved former NFL quarterback and television analyst against a Bully Blogger and Bully Blog Shop, in Denton County, Texas, for the past several months, is no more....

Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...

Baby Eating Way Out Of Watermelon Encapsulates The Human Cond—Awwwwwww!
Edible time-out? Funtime/dinnertime mashup? Emerging pod person? All we know is—awwwwwww! [via ExtraHotTrainaMustardClicks]...

They've Got High Apple Pie In The Sky Hopes!
Oh, the simple pleasures of a two-and-a-half-sport town. The LeBron shrine is not even entirely ash yet, and this nugget emerges from the Cleveland Browns public-relations machine:...

And The Award For Excellence in Parenting, Coaching Goes To ...
By excellence, I mean "providing proof that some human beings aren't fit to parent, coach youth sports or be a parent who coaches his/her/any children in youth sports."...

The World Cup Curse Of Mick Jagger
Sits in Bill Clinton's box for USA game; USA loses. Cheers on native England squad; England loses. Brings Brazilian son to today's match; Brazil out, kid cries. Any other nations whose dreams you'd like to crush, Mick?...

<em>Party Down</em> Canceled, Comedy Nerds Crestfallen
Party Down, the extremely funny Starz program that serves as the anti-Entourage, has been canceled after two mildly successful seasons. But fear not, fans, you still have your precious Freaks & Geeks boxed sets to sob into softly....

Awesome Parents Sue Hockey Team That Cut Their Sons
Two Toronto hockey dads are suing a youth league because coaches had the temerity to point out to their sons' that they aren't very good at hockey. Pay attention, because important life lessons are about to be taught....

Mitch Albom Threatens America With Another Book
He has apparently moved on from bumper-bowling theology and returned his attention to sportswriting: "Albom said he might one day write a book tracing the arc of sports journalism from daily newspapers to the Internet and instant updates." [Salt Lake Tribune]...

"Pants Down Piss Guy" Leaves His Mark In Ballpark Bathrooms Everywhere
In at least six major league ballparks across the Midwest, a mysterious figure has been stepping up to urinals and dropping trou to the ankles to relieve himself. Of course, there's a video compilation....

More Underaged Kids Drinking Overwatered Beer: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

MLB.com Is Just Full Of Porn: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Brooke Hundley Sues ESPN
You knew it was coming: Hundley's wrongful termination suit claims ESPN leaked info to the press, and fired her even though Steve Phillips was the one pursuing her. This may not end prettily, but at least it will happen publicly. [PRNewsChannel]...