its Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry
During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times]...
Quincy Carter's Shotgun Pizza Delivery: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
The Most Intellectual Of Intellectual Property Disputes
The organizers of a chess tournament are suing a website for reporting the results of the matches, live. I think it's too much to ask people to wait for SportsCenter to report the results that night. [ChessVibes]...
Gary Coleman Dead at 42, 4'8"
Gary Coleman, the former child star of Diff'rent Strokes and California gubernatorial candidate has passed away after suffering a brain hemorrhage. [People, East Bay Express]...
Finally, A Lady Urinal: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
The Saddest, Most Disgusting ESPN Lawsuit You'll Ever Read
Comes now the case of The Lady With Irritable Bowels vs. ESPN, in which a longtime employee of the Worldwide Leader, beset by looming layoffs and a spastic colon, finds herself pooping repeatedly in an office garbage can. It'll break your heart....
Jeremy Mayfield's NASCAR Suit Dismissed Due To Lack Of Realism
Racing fans may be wondering what's up with their favorite tweaked out NASCAR family, but sadly the trial of the century between Jeremy Mayfield and his drug-testing bosses has been called off due to crazy things like "the law."...
Gene Simmons Kept His Love Gun In Holster With ESPN Makeup Gal, Suit Claims
Yes, they call him Dr. Love, but he didn't want to meet this ESPN makeup artist, Victoria Jackson, in the Ladies Room. It's Hotter Than Hell, in there. The Firehouse, though? That's fine....
This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...
The Natural Disaster Telestrator Dong: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
Mike Keenan Thinks You're Number One: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
A Treasury Of Pee-Wee Football Players Knocking The Crap Out Of Each Other
The NFL Draft is tonight, and in honor of that most drawn-out of events, let's take a look at the hard-hitting players likely to be climbing Mel Kiper's Big Board in 2020....
Vince Young Maybe Has A Fender-Bender: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
Rabbit Expo Collapse Leads To Unchecked Humping
A couple months ago, I wrote about a roof collapse at a Swedish rabbit show. I remember it well, because I'm still receiving hate mail from bunny enthusiasts. Well, there's a happy ending. The rabbits started fucking like rabbits....
Life Is Full Of Choices: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
When You Lose The Ball In The Sun, Who Can You Sue?
You can't sue the sun itself, and Amun-Ra has no standing in court. So a 53-year-old slow-pitch softball player who got busted in the face is suing the owner of the diamond....
A Jersey Stitched For Two: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
More On The Santonio Holmes' Lawsuit: Lies, Damned Lies and Face Rubs
According to several conflicting reports about the incident that led to a lawsuit against Santonio Holmes, the Steeler won't face criminal charges, but only because he intimidated the victim by letting her rub his face?...
Santonio Holmes Shows Steeler Solidarity, Gets Sued By Woman He Met In Nightclub
A woman in Florida has filed a civil suit against Holmes after an alleged nightclub incident, in which she claims he hit her in the eye with his....oh, thank goodness it was just a glass. [Courthouse News/ESPN]...