its Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...
Three Words No NFLer Wants To Hear: Transgender Sodomy Lawsuit
Cornerback Eric Green, who's bounced around from practice squad to practice squad since being released by the Cardinals after last season, was hit with a lawsuit from a transgendered woman who claims Green forcibly sodomized her....
Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....
Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
Let's All Remember Shea Stadium, With Drunken Fatty Lawsuits
A woman is suing the Mets after an intoxicated 300-pound fan comically tumbled down several rows of seats, and not-so-comically landed on her and broke her back....
Today In TMZish Sports: Matt Kemp Gets Handsy And A Dwarf Cock-Blocks A Boxer (UPDATE)
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....
Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...
Moment Of The Decade? Moment Of The INFINITY
The Sporting Blog is in the middle of their own decade commemoration and asked contributors to name their sporty moment of the decade. Dan Levy picks the grammatically-challenged 2008 Phillies battle cry that birthed a World Fuckin' Champion. [SportingBlog]...
Tiger Woods Accident Story Becomes Latest Email Hoax Your Dad Will Send You
Many of you have probably received a forward from a friend-of-a-friend who knows an Isleworth resident with the "real" story about how Elin and Tiger's Thanksgiving night battle went down. Here's what the bullshit story looks like....
Thu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Yankees Lose (Some Operating Expenses)
The Yankees are looking to cut some $15 million from their 2009 Opening Day payroll of $201 million. Wait, so this means they'll only be able to afford John Lackey or Matt Holliday? Not both? The recession's hitting everybody. [MLB.com]...
Dodgeball Lawsuit Makes Me Fear For The Manliness Of Our Youth
A kid got nailed in the face during a dodgeball game at his school, and now he might sue the city. Maybe he needs to sue evolution for not giving him the reflexes to survive in middle school gym class....
Makers Of Madden Face Lawsuit For Eliminating The Competition
We get it; you love Madden. You buy it every year. But wouldn't it be awesome if there were another football game available? Join this class action suit against EA, and you might get one. Or at least some cash....
Cheddar Plax Jokes Get NYPD In Hot Water
You shoot yourself in the leg, people are going to say you pulled a Plaxico. Sorry, that's how it is. But one teen is suing the cops for making just that obvious joke....
Rushin Literature
Steve Rushin, the punster who used to write awesome features and dreadful columns for Sports Illustrated, has a novel dropping next year. It's about "a friendly and unassuming lover of clever wordplay and television sports." Steve's really stretching himself. [Amazon]...
The Learning Curve: Phinally Philly
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....
Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...
"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....
FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....
Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court....