its Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Wagon Fulla Channels? For The Champeenship?
• In Progress — MAC Championship: Central Michigan-Miami U. [ESPN2] • 12 noon — Army-Navy [CBS] • 12 noon — C-USA Championship: Central Florida-Tulsa [ESPN] • 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Duke-Davidson [ESPNU] • 1 p.m. — ACC Championship: Boston College-Virginia Tech [ABC] • 1:30 p.m. — Movie: Jingle ...

About Last Night
What you missed while putting a special hamper in the bathroom for shirts, with the other one for socks and poo-poo undies ... • NFL: It goes to 11 ... RomoCop leads Cowboys over Packers 37-24. • College football: The Honeymooners ... Art Carmody kicks Louisville to 41-38 win over Rutgers. • NHL: An...

Well, Our Weekend Is Planned
When you say that USA Today doesn't bring the serious, in-depth news coverage, I counter with this recent headline: Mexican Dwarfs Seek Respect In Bullfighting. I accept your apology. Seriously, how could your day not turn out great when it starts with that headline in your e-mail inbox?...

It's Filled With Flaxy Goodness
Sales of flax seed oil have gone through the roof thanks to the constant coverage of one Barry Bonds....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you cuddle with your vital organs ... • NFL: Baltimore at Pittsburgh. We preferred this matchup back when there was no AFC. [ESPN] • NHL: Philadelphia at New York Rangers. Petr Prucha picked a peck of picked peppers. [Versus] • NBA: Rockets at Mavericks. More excitement than fifty W...

Oldest Living NFL Player Passes On
This handsome, rambunctious gentleman is Sam Dana, a former college football player for Columbia who died yesterday at the age of 104. He was the oldest living former professional player....

Boston's Rookies Are Too Much For Colorado
Who needs Papi, Manny, and Beckett when you've got Dustin, Jacoby, and Matsuzaka? The trio of rookies set the tone for the Boston Red Sox in their Game 3 victory over the Colorado Rockies. Jacoby Ellsbury moved into the leadoff spot and he responded with four big hits. Fellow rookie Dustin Pedroia m...

Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...

Kevin Costner Gets To Pretend He Plays Baseball Again
With their whole name change — no more evil Rays! — Tampa Bay is unveiling their new uniforms next month. And they're bringing out the big guns for the experience....

Tim McCarver Is Bucking Conventional Wisdom
Obviously, the work of Tim McCarver has long been discussed in the most reverential manner. But his whopper from last night has everyone abuzz today....


Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Oklahoma
ESPN enjoys to alliterate Saturdays with "S" words — which are words that begin with the letter "S" — to glorify the weekend's slate of intense games. Separation Saturday comes foremost to mind. But with all the upsets that occurred in the Top 25, perhaps yesterday should be known as "Suck It" Satur...


Goodbye, Barry! Goodbye! We Love You! (Leave, Already)
Rick Chandler, San Franciscan, Giants fan and associate editor of this here site, muses on Barry Bonds' last home game as a Giant....

R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...

Hockey's Almost Here, In Case You've, Like, Forgotten Eh
If Chris Simon and Ryan Hollweg are trying to kill each other, you know that the NHL regular season can't be far off. Saturday, to be exact; unless there's an earlier game I didn't detect, which is entirely possible. Anyway, drama on the slippery surface! If you're planning on attending an opener, h...

We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...