its Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you cuddle with your vital organs ... • NFL: Baltimore at Pittsburgh. We preferred this matchup back when there was no AFC. [ESPN] • NHL: Philadelphia at New York Rangers. Petr Prucha picked a peck of picked peppers. [Versus] • NBA: Rockets at Mavericks. More excitement than fifty W...
Oldest Living NFL Player Passes On
This handsome, rambunctious gentleman is Sam Dana, a former college football player for Columbia who died yesterday at the age of 104. He was the oldest living former professional player....
Boston's Rookies Are Too Much For Colorado
Who needs Papi, Manny, and Beckett when you've got Dustin, Jacoby, and Matsuzaka? The trio of rookies set the tone for the Boston Red Sox in their Game 3 victory over the Colorado Rockies. Jacoby Ellsbury moved into the leadoff spot and he responded with four big hits. Fellow rookie Dustin Pedroia m...
Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...
Kevin Costner Gets To Pretend He Plays Baseball Again
With their whole name change — no more evil Rays! — Tampa Bay is unveiling their new uniforms next month. And they're bringing out the big guns for the experience....
Tim McCarver Is Bucking Conventional Wisdom
Obviously, the work of Tim McCarver has long been discussed in the most reverential manner. But his whopper from last night has everyone abuzz today....
Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Oklahoma
ESPN enjoys to alliterate Saturdays with "S" words — which are words that begin with the letter "S" — to glorify the weekend's slate of intense games. Separation Saturday comes foremost to mind. But with all the upsets that occurred in the Top 25, perhaps yesterday should be known as "Suck It" Satur...
Goodbye, Barry! Goodbye! We Love You! (Leave, Already)
Rick Chandler, San Franciscan, Giants fan and associate editor of this here site, muses on Barry Bonds' last home game as a Giant....
R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...
Hockey's Almost Here, In Case You've, Like, Forgotten Eh
If Chris Simon and Ryan Hollweg are trying to kill each other, you know that the NHL regular season can't be far off. Saturday, to be exact; unless there's an earlier game I didn't detect, which is entirely possible. Anyway, drama on the slippery surface! If you're planning on attending an opener, h...
We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...
Goodell Definitely Suspends Vick Indefinitely
Back in Catholic high school, when our dress code was a shirt and tie, one day a student came to class in proper dress code. When the teacher stepped out for a second, he tore off his collared shirt and khaki pants to reveal his underlying outfit: a waterskiing wetsuit. He didn't get in trouble for ...
George Mitchell, Still Slogging Along
In March 2006, we — Rick, actually — wrote, about the announcement of George Mitchell's steroid panel, "it would seem any investigation would have to be so wide-ranging that Bonds could either surpass Ruth and Aaron or retire before it can be completed." We thought that was ridiculous, and we believ...
R.I.P. Eddie Griffin
We send our condolences to the family and friends of former Timberwolves guard Eddie Griffin, who was killed last Friday when his SUV hit a moving train. Word of his death in Houston only came out yesterday....