ja Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Regret To Inform You That You Have To Take The Cowboys Seriously Now
Remember when the Dallas Cowboys were 3-5, Jason Garrett seemed destined for a midseason firing, and Dak Prescott looked like he couldn’t throw for 200 yards in a flag football game? Those were good times for Dallas haters all over the nation, but I am sorry to say that they are definitively over no...
Jaylon Smith Somehow Not Flagged For This Devastating Helmet-To-Helmet Hit On Alvin Kamara
Early in the fourth quarter of Thursday night’s Saints-Cowboys game, Drew Brees threw a third-and-long screen pass underneath to Alvin Kamara. Kamara scampered eight yards up the right side, where he was met by Cowboys linebacker Jaylon Smith, who launched himself head-first at Kamara’s helmet....
The Slow Dismantling Of The Cavs Marches On
While everyone was waiting on the Cavaliers to trade old-ass sharpshooter J.R. Smith, a different old-ass Cleveland sharpshooter was instead told to ship out, as Woj is reporting that the Cavs have traded Kyle Korver to the Utah Jazz:...
Jamal Murray Adds A New Chapter To His Campaign Of Lakers Antagonism
Jamal Murray apparently loves being a dick to the Lakers. Last December he caused a brief kerfuffle by dribbling rudely around Lonzo Ball in the closing seconds of a Nuggets home win. Three months later he again pissed off the Lakers—and drew a classic Not Mad response from Lonzo—with something he s...
The Sabres Are The Hottest And Most Stressful Team In The NHL<em></em>
The Buffalo Sabres—yeah, the Sabres, worst team in the league last season—just keep on winning, and they did it again Tuesday night. After a scoreless opening half hour, the Sabres got out to a 2-0 lead against the Sharks at home with a couple of slick scores. But in the final 10 minutes of the thir...
Jameis Winston Settles Sexual Assault Lawsuit With Uber Driver
Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB Jameis Winston has reached a settlement in the lawsuit filed by a woman identified as “Kate P.,” an Uber driver who accused Winston of groping her during a ride in March 2016, according to a notice of settlement filed in Arizona court on Monday. ...
Baker Mayfield Is Still Taking Shots At Hue Jackson
You would think having the worst head coaching record with a team in the entire history of the NFL would have been enough punishment—or enough of an indictment. And if not, maybe getting unceremoniously fired midseason might have been sufficient. But no, not only does Hue Jackson have to live with t...
The Rockets Are Short On Ideas
The Rockets lost on the road to the crummy Wizards Monday night, in overtime, by the score of 135–131. James Harden was tremendous, in his particular James Harden-ian way, but the team around him mostly sucks, and the Rockets once again have absolutely no reliable form of attack beyond clearing out ...
Blake Bortles's Butt Bumped To Bench
The Jaguars were doing okay against the Bills Sunday, but then the guy who had scored two TDs for them was ejected for fighting, they pissed away a first-and-goal situation, and Buffalo won, 24-21. This extended the team’s losing streak to seven. The usually loquacious Jalen Ramsey couldn’t even say...
The Jaguars Are So Bad They've Made Jalen Ramsey Boring
Bills-Jaguars was the Trash Bowl, and not just because both teams are trash. This one had been circled on the calendars ever since Jags corner Jalen Ramsey called Josh Allen “trash” in a magazine interview, and then went deep on exactly why the Bills’ rookie QB was, allegedly, trash....
The Browns Sure Do Not Appear To Miss Hue Jackson Very Much
The Browns beat the shit out of the Bengals Sunday afternoon. It was Cleveland’s first road win since Week 5 of the 2015 season, and the first time a Browns quarterback won consecutive starts since 2014. And how lovely that former Browns head coach Hue Jackson could be in attendance to watch this pr...
Bad Touchdown Call Ignites Brawl Between Jaguars And Bills That Spilled Into Locker Room Tunnel
When a team has nothing to play for at this point in the NFL season, it’s surely difficult to find an outlet to direct one’s emotions toward during games. While some players might choose to channel that energy into late-season stat-padding, the Jacksonville Jaguars and Buffalo Bills decided to engag...
Amateur MMA Fighter Somehow Injures Both Of His Legs Celebrating His Knockout Win
Weird shit seems to happen all the time in the lower rungs of MMA. There was the guy who did a front flip off his opponent’s lifeless body, the guy who barfed all over the cage for no good reason, and the other guy who crapped a bunch in the cage (this one at least is not unique to regional MMA). Th...
What The Hell Happened To The Jaguars?
In all seriousness, the Jacksonville Jaguars began the season as a possible Super Bowl contender. Coming off a run to the AFC championship game that was largely short-circuited by a lack of aggressiveness and some predictable offensive play-calling, the Jags seemed to have the defense and the all-ar...
ESPN Reporter Brian Windhorst Loves To Brag About Not Reporting
Longtime basketball reporter Brian Windhorst is the subject of a profile in the New York Times today, in which he candidly talks about his career and his desire to be known as more than just the guy who has spent it following LeBron James around. He also brags about a time when he refused to report ...
Was That The Future Of Football?
“I might need a couple beverages to relax tonight,” Sean McVay said after the Rams’ 54-51 win over the Chiefs in one of the most satisfying and exhilarating football games ever played. Maybe a cigarette? MNF viewers are walking around this morning like we got laid last night, and you know what? I’m ...
Well That Was Exhilarating As Shit
The Rams and the Chiefs played the highest-scoring contest in the history of Monday Night Football tonight, a 54–51 barnburner in which every play seemed to go for 18 yards, and every third play seemed to produce a touchdown. It was maybe the most exciting football game I’ve ever watched. Did you mi...
Les Miles's Brain Briefly And Spectacularly Shut Down During His Introductory Press Conference
Les Miles is the new football coach at Kansas, which is a fact that will make you say, “That’s weird!” every time you hear it. He was officially introduced at a press conference yesterday, and he made sure to let everyone know just what a boon to the community his football program is going to be....
Curling Team Banned From Alberta Tournament For Being So, So Drunk
Curling has long been billed as a sport that you can play while drinking. While that’s true, and it’s not unheard for recreational and competitive players to have a beer during a game, it’s definitely not true that you can play the game drunk, or at least play it well. That was proven in Alberta thi...
James Worthy Played Bass And The Minutemen's Mike Watt Has The Story To Prove It<em></em>
“Have you always been a basketball fan?” This is me, asking Mike Watt, one of my heroes, a pretty basic question. It is, if we’re being honest, a feeble softball, lobbed with all the force of an Andy Borowitz gag. This happened around noon, an hour earlier than we were supposed to begin our two-man ...