ja Page 314 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Report: Magic Johnson Is Already Mad At Luke Walton For No Good Reason

On Sept. 20, Lakers czar Magic Johnson told ESPN that he assured coach Luke Walton that he’d be fine if the 2018-19 campaign were to get off to a slow start, since integrating a hodgepodge of new players into the team, including LeBron James, takes time....

Will Someone Please Befriend These Sad, Lonely People So The Rest Of Us Don't Have To Deal With Them?

Donald Trump is horrible and disgusting, and the menagerie of melting, gelatinous creatures surrounding him are also horrible and disgusting, but they’re not really new. The behavior they’ve exhibited over the last three years came into focus, in Facebook and before long silences at family dinners, ...

Hue Jackson: If Only The Browns Had Listened More To Hue Jackson 

Hue Jackson finished his tenure as head coach of the Cleveland Browns with a record of three wins, 36 losses, and one tie. In hindsight, it’s remarkable that Jackson was given a second year in charge after starting the 2016 season 0–14 and finishing 1–15; it’s even more incredible that he was given ...

Maryland's Board Of Regents Chair Abruptly Resigns Following Board's Spectacular Fuck-Up

This development will not have the day-to-day importance to players on the University of Maryland football team as the firing of head coach DJ Durkin, but it is nonetheless another step in the right direction: James T. Brady, the chair of Maryland’s board of regents, has resigned, effective immediat...

LeBron And The Lakers Are Eking Their Way Through This

These Lakers are “Showtime,” ridiculously so, but possibly in some ways that they would rather avoid. The saliva and sucker punch, yes, but also in a more general way. In some sense, the battle to prevent vomit pooling in your mouth from spilling out onto your fresh tuxedo while you race to the toil...

What Will It Take To Get Jim Jordan Out Of Congress?

LIMA, Ohio — Within five minutes of meeting Janet Garrett’s campaign team for the first time, I’m asked to help with their speaker set-up. The laptop audio playing the Spotify playlist is coming out of the projector, and they don’t know how to hook it up to the main speaker, where it would be louder...

The Rockets Suck

Yes, okay, fine: James Harden has a strained hamstring that kept him out of the past two games, including last night’s blowout home loss to the Blazers, which dropped the Rockets’ record to 1-5. And yes, Chris Paul missed the two games prior to Harden’s outage—both losses—serving his suspension for ...

Just Two Adult Humans, Standing Side By Side

Interception Machine Jameis Winston Gets Benched For Ryan Fitzpatrick<em></em>

It’s time to erase the whiteboard reading “Days Since Last Jameis Winston Turnover Party” and draw a big fat 0. The Buccaneers might have beaten the Bengals Sunday if they’d benched Winston quicker, but instead, he was allowed stick around long enough to throw four interceptions, get sacked five tim...

Boban Marjanovic Can Ferociously Dunk By Just Kinda Leaning Back

As a general rule, garbage time is unfun to watch—just a bunch of guys scrimmaging out in the public sphere, the actual game long reduced to a formality. The large exception to that rule is named Boban. There will never be a time when 7-foot-3 center Boban Marjanovic is on a basketball court and doe...

Browns Don't Stop At Firing Hue Jackson, Shitcan Todd Haley, Too [Update]

Todd Haley must’ve thought he was safe when the Browns fired Hue Jackson today, huh? How long did that last, a little over an hour?...

The Browns Have Finally Fired Hue Jackson [Update]

According to Adam Schefter, the Cleveland Browns have put head coach Hue Jackson in the trash can. This should come as no surprise, both because the Browns have reportedly been considering firing Jackson for a while now, and also because Jackson is a comically incompetent boob who racked up a record...

Fitzmagic (Sort Of) Returns After Jameis Winston Gets Benched For Throwing Four Interceptions

Jameis Winston was benched for Ryan Fitzpatrick today after his ass-tastic performance against the Cincinnati Bengals yielded four interceptions and five sacks in just under three quarters of playing time....

Report: The Browns' Coaching Mess Might Require A Clean-Up

Failure that breeds dysfunction, which breeds potential coaching staff or front office changes. It might as well be the Cleveland Browns’ motto. That remains true even in a season in which the Browns are finally showing some signs of life. But Cleveland has lost three of its last four games, and the...

Jaguars Players Arrested, Released After "Misunderstanding" Over $64,000 London Bar Tab

Four Jacksonville Jaguars players were detained, and three were arrested, after they ran up a tab of £50,000 ($64,000 U.S.) at a London club that “features burlesque and circus performers” early Saturday morning, according to the UK’s Sun newspaper. All four were released after the tab was settled,...

Does Robin Lopez Have Teeth In His Hair? An Investigation

This Halloween season, Jabari Parker was asked to do something very, very spooky and unpleasant. No, not “impede literally any professional basketball player’s movement towards the hoop,” but just “reach inside an box with unusual contents.” The contents were the head of Robin Lopez. While gingerly ...

Donovan Mitchell Woke Up And Lit Up The Rockets

Donovan Mitchell had still been kneading the sleep out of his eyes during the first week of his sophomore season. Coming into last night’s game against the Rockets, he’d been unable to get any offense going—not from any region of the court, not off-the-dribble, not catch-and-shoot, not getting to th...

All Three Defendants In College Basketball Corruption Trial Found Guilty

This afternoon, a jury ruled that former Adidas consultant Merl Code, Adidas employee James Gatto, and former financial adviser Christian Dawkins were guilty of a series of wire fraud charges stemming from their work orchestrating schemes to pay Adidas money to college basketball players in order to...

Jim Boeheim To LeBron James: I Am Not Big Mad

Syracuse head men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim is a known grump who has never been shy about disparaging members of the unpaid labor force that subsidizes his massive salary. You can understand, then, why someone might have taken this quote, about former Syracuse signee Darius Bazley forgoing coll...

LeBron James Is The Worst In The NBA At Clutch Free Throws

After LeBron James missed two clutch free throws in overtime in the Lakers’ third straight loss of the young season, ESPN Stats & Info shared an interesting tidbit about the greatest player of his era....