ja Page 316 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Blake Bortles's Butt Bumped To Bench
The Jaguars were doing okay against the Bills Sunday, but then the guy who had scored two TDs for them was ejected for fighting, they pissed away a first-and-goal situation, and Buffalo won, 24-21. This extended the team’s losing streak to seven. The usually loquacious Jalen Ramsey couldn’t even say...
The Jaguars Are So Bad They've Made Jalen Ramsey Boring
Bills-Jaguars was the Trash Bowl, and not just because both teams are trash. This one had been circled on the calendars ever since Jags corner Jalen Ramsey called Josh Allen “trash” in a magazine interview, and then went deep on exactly why the Bills’ rookie QB was, allegedly, trash....
The Browns Sure Do Not Appear To Miss Hue Jackson Very Much
The Browns beat the shit out of the Bengals Sunday afternoon. It was Cleveland’s first road win since Week 5 of the 2015 season, and the first time a Browns quarterback won consecutive starts since 2014. And how lovely that former Browns head coach Hue Jackson could be in attendance to watch this pr...
Bad Touchdown Call Ignites Brawl Between Jaguars And Bills That Spilled Into Locker Room Tunnel
When a team has nothing to play for at this point in the NFL season, it’s surely difficult to find an outlet to direct one’s emotions toward during games. While some players might choose to channel that energy into late-season stat-padding, the Jacksonville Jaguars and Buffalo Bills decided to engag...
Amateur MMA Fighter Somehow Injures Both Of His Legs Celebrating His Knockout Win
Weird shit seems to happen all the time in the lower rungs of MMA. There was the guy who did a front flip off his opponent’s lifeless body, the guy who barfed all over the cage for no good reason, and the other guy who crapped a bunch in the cage (this one at least is not unique to regional MMA). Th...
What The Hell Happened To The Jaguars?
In all seriousness, the Jacksonville Jaguars began the season as a possible Super Bowl contender. Coming off a run to the AFC championship game that was largely short-circuited by a lack of aggressiveness and some predictable offensive play-calling, the Jags seemed to have the defense and the all-ar...
ESPN Reporter Brian Windhorst Loves To Brag About Not Reporting
Longtime basketball reporter Brian Windhorst is the subject of a profile in the New York Times today, in which he candidly talks about his career and his desire to be known as more than just the guy who has spent it following LeBron James around. He also brags about a time when he refused to report ...
Was That The Future Of Football?
“I might need a couple beverages to relax tonight,” Sean McVay said after the Rams’ 54-51 win over the Chiefs in one of the most satisfying and exhilarating football games ever played. Maybe a cigarette? MNF viewers are walking around this morning like we got laid last night, and you know what? I’m ...
Well That Was Exhilarating As Shit
The Rams and the Chiefs played the highest-scoring contest in the history of Monday Night Football tonight, a 54–51 barnburner in which every play seemed to go for 18 yards, and every third play seemed to produce a touchdown. It was maybe the most exciting football game I’ve ever watched. Did you mi...
Les Miles's Brain Briefly And Spectacularly Shut Down During His Introductory Press Conference
Les Miles is the new football coach at Kansas, which is a fact that will make you say, “That’s weird!” every time you hear it. He was officially introduced at a press conference yesterday, and he made sure to let everyone know just what a boon to the community his football program is going to be....
Curling Team Banned From Alberta Tournament For Being So, So Drunk
Curling has long been billed as a sport that you can play while drinking. While that’s true, and it’s not unheard for recreational and competitive players to have a beer during a game, it’s definitely not true that you can play the game drunk, or at least play it well. That was proven in Alberta thi...
James Worthy Played Bass And The Minutemen's Mike Watt Has The Story To Prove It<em></em>
“Have you always been a basketball fan?” This is me, asking Mike Watt, one of my heroes, a pretty basic question. It is, if we’re being honest, a feeble softball, lobbed with all the force of an Andy Borowitz gag. This happened around noon, an hour earlier than we were supposed to begin our two-man ...
Lamar Jackson Is Way More Fun Than Joe Flacco
After half a season of waiting, we finally got our first full dose of Lamar Jackson in the NFL on Sunday. With starting QB Joe Flacco injured, the first-round pick and former Heisman winner at Louisville battled past a stomach illness to take advantage of the opportunity, leading the now 5-5 Ravens ...
Goddamnit, Cy Young Voter Who Snubbed Jacob deGrom Is A W-L Guy
I didn’t know a lot about San Diego Union-Tribune writer John Maffei (but not, weirdly, baseball writer) before today. I know everything about now, even from very limited data....
LeBron, It Is Time To Go Full Kratos
Look, there’s no need to belabor the point here. I have great respect for your basketball mind and your body of work. You just reeled off a 44-10-9 in fucking Year 16. But it really doesn’t need to be this way. Just hear me out on this....
Former ESPN President John Skipper Has Teamed Up With Disgraced Former Fox Sports Exec Jamie Horowitz
Here’s an interesting tidbit from Sports Business Journal’s Eric Fisher, who was at the MLB owners’ meeting in Atlanta last night....
How The Hell Did The Jazz Lose By 50 To The Mavericks?
Before the season started, the Utah Jazz were considered a lock to finish top four in the Western Conference, and many prognosticators even thought they could surpass the Rockets and finish second. Theoretically, Utah seemed likely to rip out of the gates because of continuity, some internal improve...
LeBron James Is Here
Perhaps it’s a function of the fact that the Lakers started the season with some bad losses, or that he’s been banished to late-night television on the west coast, or that this clip exists, but before last night’s game between the Lakers and Blazers, it felt like LeBron James had yet to put any sort...
Huffy, Dopey Cy Young Voter Hangs Up On Incredibly Chill Old Radio Host<em></em>
I learned something really interesting today, which is that Steve Somers is still alive. You people out there probably know New York’s flagship sports talk radio station WFAN mainly because of comic book hater and sugar-free mafia cosplayer Mike Francesa. Ah, but when I was growing up, there was an ...
LeBron James Remembers How To Play Defense Long Enough To Put Nik Stauskas On The Floor<em></em>
LeBron James’s defense this season has been, let’s say, below average. The lowlights have ranged from letting Serge Ibaka blow by him, to missing his assignment entirely because he was too busy sticking his foot out while trying to stop a pass. It would have surprised no one if James had let Nik Sta...