ja Page 328 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Cavs Made The Right Adjustment
It was the third quarter, and the Warriors, already ahead on the scoreboard and up 3-0 in the series, were doing their third-quarter thing. That is to say, they’d decided to apply the 12 minutes of focused full-bore effort it takes to render them effectively invincible. A game they’d led steadily pr...
Rai Benjamin Runs 47.02 400m Hurdles, Tied For Second-Fastest In Human History
USC’s Rai Benjamin claimed the national championship in the 400 meter hurdles today in a mind-blowing 47.02, tying Edwin Moses’s former world record for the second-fastest time in human history in the event....
They Already Said They Weren't Going To Go, Man
Even though LeBron James and Steph Curry had already said that neither of their teams would visit the White House if they won the NBA Finals, today Donald Trump tried to pretend like he wouldn’t have invited them anyway. Surely the basketball players will regret the opportunity to watch a septuagena...
Report: Police Officer Who Tackled James Blake Didn't Even Receive The Full Recommended Punishment
In September 2015 an NYPD officer tackled and handcuffed James Blake outside a Manhattan hotel, mistaking the former American tennis player for a suspect in a credit card scam; a month later, an independent panel ruled that police used excessive force in the arrest. That panel, the Civilian Complain...
Universe Snuffs Last Remaining Spark Of Joy, Sends Vlad Jr. To The Disabled List
In an absolute bullcrap turn of events, dear sweet masher Vladimir Guerrero Jr. was sent to the disabled list Thursday with an injured leg. Per the Toronto Sun:...
Kevin Durant Is A Recurring Nightmare
The bad dream that’s afflicting LeBron James is a long one, replete with horrors. J.R. Smith is there, wandering around with a lit M-80 in his hand. Jordan Clarkson is somehow lurking around every corner, wearing Kobe Bryant’s face as a mask. Kevin Love’s drowning in a glass water tank and LeBron ca...
Kevin Durant Won The NBA Finals Tonight
Even if everyone already knew the Warriors were eventually going to win the NBA Finals regardless of what happened tonight, Game 3 was actually pretty fun. The Cavs gave the Dubs their best shot on the way to a respectable 110-102 defeat. Kevin Love came to play, Rodney Hood reminded us that he was ...
Hue Jackson Tries To Motivate Browns By Inadvertently Making Their Helmets Look Cooler
Anyone paying attention to Browns training camp—so, nobody beyond a group of irascible, underpaid beat writers—may have noticed that the players’ equipment looks a little different. The brown and white stripes that go across the middle of the helmet are missing. In a surprising deviation from everyt...
Javy Baez Ruins Sweatshirt, Also Gets An Out
In the ninth inning of an otherwise pretty blah Cubs loss, Chicago shortstop Javier Baez made a daredevil catch along the Steve Bartman wall at Wrigley Field. The out came at the cost of a Cubs fan’s beer and his previously clean sweatshirt, but it was a worthy sacrifice for an acrobatic play....
LeBron James Has Always Had To Carry Useless Weaklings
As we wait out the formality that these lopsided, nightmarish NBA Finals have become, it’s still worth acknowledging just how impressive it is that LeBron James has carried such a messed up, broken Cavs team through the Eastern Conference. With a supporting cast of old three-point specialists, activ...
Fire Mark Jackson<em></em>
Oh, hello again. Yes, I have returned from my book-writing sabbatical—venturing to the Yukon, wrestling wild salmon, scribbling long paragraphs about the FATE OF MAN on the back of aged moosehide—and am ready to rejoin you, my dearest online friends, once more. I feel refreshed and revigored, if suc...
LeBron James And Steph Curry Say Neither NBA Finals Team Will Visit The White House
An impossibly stupid saga is raging in the NFL, and the NBA has already offered a response via its two biggest stars: Neither Finals team will visit the White House. LeBron James made that clear today in a press conference:...
The Golden Knights Have Lost Their Mojo
There is no secret to what is happening to the Golden Knights, now down 3-1 in the Stanley Cup final after playing nigh-unbeatable throughout the playoffs. The zamboni has transformed back into a pumpkin, and not just a regular pumpkin, but a gross smelly rotted one. ...
Behold This Large Lad Hitting His First Home Run At The Most Opportune Moment
Cal State Fullerton lists freshman Jace Chamberlin—not “Chamberlain” and no relationship to Joba, that I can find record of—at 6-foot-4 and 240 pounds. The Los Angeles Times writes that he “got the nickname ‘Jumbo’ earlier this year on a trip to New Orleans due to his affinity for jambalaya.” Emphas...
Here's Four Minutes Of Footage From Game 1 Of LeBron James Not Murdering J.R. Smith
Yes, Game 2 already happened, and it went just about as everyone expected after the Cavaliers blew their chance last week. It’s still worth going back to look to Game 1 and the exact moment this Finals series ended....
The Sixers Really Need To Fire Bryan Colangelo Right Now
It’s no secret that the Sixers plan to court all the premier free agents this summer. It is also no secret that LeBron James will be the premier free agent this summer, seeking a long-term contract after he opts out of the final year of his deal in Cleveland. With that in mind, I hereby present LeBr...
UFC Fighter Somehow Accidentally Knocks Himself Out
Jarred “The Monkey God” Brooks lost his second UFC fight tonight because, well, he picked his opponent up and then fell on his head. Brooks was giving UFC debutante Jose Torres the business until the bizarre end to the fight. It was scored as a TKO win for Torres, who explained afterwards that he wa...
The Mavericks VP Accused Of Intimidating Employees And Ignoring Harassment Is No Longer In The Job
George Prokos, the vice president who oversaw the Dallas Mavericks’ ticket sales department—where ex-employees said their boss routinely screamed at and intimidated them, little was done to help a coworker in what appeared to be an abusive relationship with another team employee, and one employee be...
Don't Let J.R. Smith Distract You From JaVale McGee's Own Incredibly Funny Failure
An NBA Finals game featuring Nick Young, J.R. Smith, and JaVale McGee was always bound to be full of goofs and gaffes, and while everyone is justifiably mocking Smith for forgetting how time and numbers work, let us not forget that McGee had perhaps an even funnier botched play in the third quarter....
Peyton Manning Denies Claim In Court Filings That Peyton Manning Was Source For Peyton Manning PED Allegations<em></em>
Unsealed court papers claim Peyton Manning’s lawyers “confirmed much of what” a source told Al Jazeera about the retired NFL quarterback’s alleged PED usage along with that of MLBers Ryan Zimmerman and Ryan Howard, who are suing the network over claims made in the 2015 report....