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D.C. Deserves Better

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...

Even After Aaron Hernandez Killed Himself, No One Seems To Care About Inmate Suicide

Aaron Hernandez—convicted of murdering Odin Lloyd, charged but not guilty of murdering Safiro Furtado and Daniel de Abreu, living in prison after once being paid millions to play football—died with $7.20 in his inmate kiosk. The final printout registering his account said the balance will be release...

The Suns Played Like Trash From The Trash Factory

With only one more year before lottery reform kicks in and flattens out draft odds for the worst NBA teams, this season is the last chance for dead-end teams to max out their odds of nabbing the number-one pick. We may be in for another furious tank-off between rival ghost ships, and last night, one...

At Least Jaylen Brown Is Up To The Task

The Celtics’ season was proceeding as planned for a total of six minute before Gordon Hayward obliterated his ankle Tuesday night, forcing the team to reorient itself without a player who figured to have an enormous role in the team’s offense. With Hayward’s ankle now shredded like carnitas, Boston’...

LeBron James Still Thinks About Dan Gilbert's Insane Letter

GQ has a big LeBron James feature out today, and in it the Cavs superstar is asked about the crazy letter Cavs owner Dan Gilbert wrote after James left Cleveland for Miami in 2010. Specifically, he’s asked if he believes Gilbert’s letter had racial overtones:...

Jaguars Kicker Jason Myers Loves Missing Field Goals: "It's Fucking Awesome"<em></em>

With 1:12 left in the game and on second down, Jaguars head coach Doug Marrone attempted a field goal. The play made sense: Since Jacksonville was down by 10 to the Rams and needed two possessions regardless, it’d be better to get points as soon as possible instead of pissing away the clock with mor...

Apparently DeShone Kizer Just Needed One Week Off

When Browns head coach Hue Jackson announced that he was benching rookie quarterback DeShone Kizer last week, it seemed like he had a decent plan in mind. The Browns, already 0-5 at that point, had three more games against the Texans, Titans, and Vikings before their bye week. Here was a chance for ...

This Is What The Dodgers' Money Can Buy

During the offseason, the Dodgers gave big contracts to three of their own free agents: Rich Hill, Justin Turner, and Kenley Jansen. At the time, it seemed like the team would have to lose at least one of those high-priced players—what team in recent history has not had to pick and choose who to re...

Japanese Playoff Baseball Game Turns Into A Mud Bowl

In the first round of the Nippon Professional Baseball playoffs in Japan, the Hanshin Tigers and Yokohama DeNA Baystars battled through absolutely absurd conditions to play an entire baseball game in the mud. The result was unlike any baseball game I’ve ever seen. To watch the highlights with the fu...

Jay Cutler Is Alive And Demoralizing Atlanta

Despite eking out a win against Tennessee last weekend, Jay Cutler looked like he had hit rock bottom. After a loss to the Jets and then a shutout to the Saints, Cutler put up an even worse statline against the Titans—12-for-26 for 92 yards, with a pick and, at the very least, one touchdown. Cutler ...

Dog Wants Nothing To Do With Lee Corso

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What In God's Holy Name Are You Blathering About, Kevin McHale?

Blathering goofus Kevin McHale waded back into the James Harden leadership beef last night, using a NBA on TNT segment to once again opine on the leadership qualities of his former star player. Watch the video below and see if you can spot the exact moment when McHale should’ve shut the hell up....

Roger Goodell's Wife Defended Him Through A Now-Deleted Anonymous Twitter Account

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell takes frequent criticism across many mediums, but according to the Wall Street Journal, former Fox News anchor Jane Skinner Goodell stood up for her husband’s bumbling through an anonymous Twitter account with the absolutely perfect handle @forargument....

The Tape Lies

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...

Jahlil Okafor Travels From Philly To New York To See Movies

Jahlil Okafor likes movies. A new profile of him at SB Nation opens with Okafor watching Home Again with his girlfriend. And he mentions at curious fact: Okafor has “been known to take a train from Philadelphia to Manhattan just to catch a flick or two at the iPic.” That wording doesn’t explain how ...

NESN Suspends Anchor For Unleashing Stream Of Insults At Woman Who Told Him No [Updated]

Alyssa Labrie first posted on Facebook privately over the weekend, saying New England Sports Network anchor Marc James exploded at her in a string of angry text messages after she said she didn’t want to get drinks with him. Labrie told me that after she heard from people saying it needed to be kno...

Tight Butt

How Did Jason Whitlock Do This?

Earlier today, All Takes Matter co-host Jason Whitlock sent a tweet that was genuinely mystifying:...

Falling From High Places Might Be Shane McMahon's Best Skill

You know what’s not fun? Watching a pro wrestling match in 2017 with a genuine fear that someone is about to be maimed....

Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week: What Is Jay Cutler Even Doing Here?

Welcome to Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the worst quarterback play the NFL has to offer....