ja Page 384 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Blake Bortles Bortled Again
Upon witnessing Blake Bortles throw an interception off his own player’s shoe last week against the Texans, you may have thought: “Well, here’s something I’ll never see again in my life.” If so, may I say: Friend, you underestimated Blake Bortles....
Jeff Fisher Pleased With Jared Goff's Ability To Perform Basic Functions
No. 1 overall pick Jared Goff finally made his first start at quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams yesterday, and he looked a lot like the player we saw in the preseason, which is to say he was kind of butt....
Jaguars Junction: Week 11
The city of Detroit has been through a hell of a lot. ...
That's Not How You Football
The Chiefs grabbed a first-quarter turnover as Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston lost his faculties—and the football....
Hockey Player's Feat To Eventually Be Used On Facebook As Reason Why LeBron James Is Actually A Baby
Columbus Blue Jackets winger Matt Calvert will likely find his bandaged head in poorly constructed image macros across Facebook after his effort in Friday’s game against the New York Rangers. The hockey player took a puck to the head, got fixed up, and scored the shorthanded game-winner in the team’...
It's Friday And Jason Williams Turns 41 Today, So Enjoy This Highlight Reel
Happy birthday to White Chocolate, who is now “over the hill” but who will never stop giving us the good shit, and happy Friday afternoon....
Football Is Good Again, America!
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Ex-Player Fears James Rodríguez Has Become A Whiny Little Brat By Hanging Around Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo is exalted for a great many reasons. He’s also reviled and/or ridiculed for a few others, like his arrogance, his lack of sportsmanship, and his self-centeredness. One retired Colombian player is worried that a compatriot of his, James Rodríguez, has picked up a few too many of Ron...
New York Islanders Decline To Say If Jack Capuano Lives In Garth Snow's Basement
The disappointing Islanders have lost six of their last seven and currently hold an underwhelming 5-8-3 record. Head coach Jack Capuano is on the hot seat, and depending on who you believe, the heat around his job status might be rising through the vents and warming up team president Garth Snow’s ho...
Frank Mason Buries Duke With Game-Winning Dagger
Rejoice, for top-ranked Duke has been upset. The Blue Devils and the Kansas Jayhawks played a tremendously entertaining game tonight in Madison Square Garden, that ended with Frank Mason tossing in a game-winning jumper with seconds left....
LeBron James Has No Patience For Phil Jackson
You may have heard that Phil Jackson referred to LeBron James’s inner circle as a “posse” yesterday, and that one member of said inner circle, LeBron’s childhood friend and business partner Maverick Carter, took offense to that by claiming that Jackson’s use of “posse” was racially coded. Now LeBron...
It's Goff Time, Motherfuckers
Strap the fuck in, because the 4-5 Los Angeles Rams finally gave us a reason to watch their quest for 7-9. Finally, after months of dithering, Jeff Fisher has made the move. Case Keenum? Benched! First overall draft pick Jared Goff? Ready as shit....
LeBron's Business Partner Angry At Phil Jackson For Saying LeBron Has A "Posse"
During an interview with ESPN in which Knicks president Phil Jackson criticized LeBron James’s alleged attitude of entitlement during his tenure with the Heat, Jackson at one point referred to James’s group of friends as a “posse.” Maverick Carter, James’s friend and business partner, did not like t...
This Week In Jeff Fisher Refusing To Blame His Quarterback
I’d like to apologize to you on behalf of sports if you watched yesterday’s 9-6 Rams win over the Jets, a game that seemed absolutely destined to be a tie and didn’t end up with even that novelty to recommend it. The Jets are so unwatchable that they flexed Tom Brady out of primetime, but let’s not ...
The Most Blake Bortles Play Blake Bortles Ever Bortled
The Jaguars entered this season with expectations of contending for a playoff spot. Instead, after a 24-21 loss to the Texans, they’re 2-7 and haven’t won a game in a month. It’s been a grim season, but thankfully Blake Bortles is dedicated to supplying his fans with much needed dosages of slapstick...
Jay Cutler Ends First Half With Hail Mary
Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler’s game against the Buccaneers did not get off to a good start, with two interceptions (one a pick-six) in the first quarter. But he took a pretty nice step toward redeeming himself with a Hail Mary to finish off the first half:...
Shohei Otani, World's Coolest Baseball Player, Crushes A Ball Into The Tokyo Dome Ceiling
Some things that 22-year-old Shohei Otani has done this year: break his own record for the fastest pitch ever thrown in Japanese baseball (102 mph), post a 1.86 ERA and 0.96 WHIP in 20 games as a starting pitcher, hit really goddamn well when he wasn’t pitching (.322/.416/.588 with 22 home runs), an...
Kansas Runs Hidden-Man Kick Return
Kansas is, as in most years, a miserably bad football team. But today they did something neat:...
Bruins Go Five-Hole For Own Goal
The Bruins were murder on goalies last night, chasing Sergei Bobrovsky with four goals on nine shots in their eventual 5-2 win over the Blue Jackets. They got to Tuukka Rask too, even though he plays for them. Defenseman Colin Miller mishandled the puck and put it right between Rask’s legs for an ow...
God Help Me, I Think I Like Nick Saban<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....