ja Page 497 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Could Modern Medicine Have Saved Bo Jackson's Career?
I was too young to remember watching him play, but the unifying tone of wonderment emanating from anyone who saw Bo Jackson crack a 500-foot home run or bulldoze an obnoxious Brian Bosworth into traction has never washed with the plainness of the injury that ended his career. It doesn't make sense. ...

Jack Clark's Lawyer Responds To Albert Pujols's Lawsuit With Pizazz
Albert Pujols is suing former baseball player Jack Clark because Clark recently went on his now-cancelled radio show and told listeners that Pujols's trainer once told him that Pujols had been "juicing." Judging by a settlement offer that was sent from Clark's attorney to Pujols's attorney this morn...

Jason Grilli Onstage With Pearl Jam: "Next Year, It's Our Fuckin' Year"
Pearl Jam played in Pittsburgh Friday night and since Pirates closer Jason Grilli's entrance song is "Whipping," he joined the band onstage to fire up the crowd....

When Chyron Is More Honest Than The Head Coach
The Broncos are saying all the right things ahead of their historic mismatch with Jacksonville. After Wednesday's practice, John Fox said "We don't look at point spreads...This team has beaten us four out of the last five times. There's no one here taking anyone lightly." KUSA's lower third cut thro...

English Soccer Is Dead, And It Deserves To Be
World Cup qualifying runs this week, and a lot of what's going on involves glorified exhibition play. Continental giants like the Netherlands and Italy are booked for Brazil, as is our great nation; other teams of interest, like Germany, Spain, Portugal, and France are more or less box-checking. The...

Greg Schiano, Tom Coughlin, And The Death Of The Hardass Coach
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....

Why Clowney's Ribs Are An Existential Crisis For College Football
Each week during college football season we put the conventional polls to shame by ranking every FBS team from 1-125, by whatever standard we see fit. As always, last week's rankings were not consulted....

Jarrett Jack With A Beautiful Behind-The-Back Assist
Basketball is coming. ...

What Would A Jaguars-Alabama Betting Line Look Like?
There's a dude at my gym who blasts Linkin Park through his Beats when he's in the locker room. But he doesn't WEAR his headphones. He uses them as speakers and plays the butt rock loud enough so that he can hear them without putting them on all the way. And then he sings along. That's grounds for m...

Here Are Some Clips Of LeBron And The Heat's Video Shoot To Laugh At
The Miami Heat are shooting footage for the team's pregame introduction video today, and someone has been posting behind-the-scenes clips on the team's Instagram page. We owe a debt of gratitude to that someone, because he or she has graced us with clips like this one:...

Jadeveon Clowney Shouldn't Play Until He Gets Paid
South Carolina's all-world DE Jadeveon Clowney didn't play this weekend with a muscle strain, or maybe bruised ribs, and also some bone spurs in his foot. He's not been particularly clear on the ailment, or the state of his recovery, and the Gamecocks were surprised and confused that Clowney himself...

Chart: How Does Your NFL Team Stack Up On Offense and Defense?
Over at Advanced NFL Stats, Brian Burke has put together a great visualization plotting the offensive and defensive performance of the league's 32 teams. It's nothing too complicated—basically a NYMag Approval Matrix for football—but it reveals a lot about the state of the NFL through Week 5....

Impostors Posing As USC Reps Reach Out To Potential Football Coaches
So you know those reports that say USC has reached out to Tony Dungy and (possibly) Jack Del Rio to replace Lane Kiffin? Yeah, well, those overtures never happened. Oh, someone claiming to be from USC did call Dungy and a member of the Denver Broncos coaching staff. Whoever it was just wasn't actual...

What's More Improbable: The Jaguars' +28 Line Or An 11-Inch Penis?
The murmurs began last week, before the Broncos put up 51 points against the Cowboys and the Jaguars lost second-overall pick Luke Joeckel to injury. And when the dust of Week 5 had settled, sure enough, the betting line for Jaguars at Broncos was set at 28 points, which is a lot....

High School Football Player Runs Over Entire Defense For 50-Yard TD
This is what happens when a defense made up entirely of kids who can't tackle try to take on a running back who has a little Bo Jackson in him. ...

Jaguars-Broncos Opens With The Largest Point Spread In NFL History
It's happening. Sunday's Jaguars-Broncos tilt in Denver has opened with the Broncos anywhere from 27- to 28-point favorites. If that holds—and one sportsbook manager told us he still expects most of the money to come in on Denver—it'd be the largest spread in NFL history....

<em>SNL's</em> Jay Pharoah Does A Tremendous Shannon Sharpe Impression
Jay Pharoah is SNL's master impressionist, and although his Barack Obama may be a bit uninspiring, his Shannon Sharpe leaves nothing to be desired. Our only complaint has to do with his tie knot. That sucker needs to be much, much bigger....


