ja Page 556 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>Scenes From a Marriage</em>, But Longer And With Fart Jokes. <em>The Five-Year Engagement</em>, Reviewed.
1. There are several long stretches in which The Five-Year Engagement is the polar opposite of what anyone would consider "romantic" or "comedy." Jason Segel has always had a tinge of self-aggrandizing self-pity in his characters—the ones he plays, the ones he writes, and both—but for swaths of The ...
The Jaguars Desperately Want You To Believe Everybody Loves Ryan Tannehill
This is how your NFL draft sausage is made, and it's not pretty: with lies and misdirection and identity fraud and a whole lot of desperation....
Jason Bay Is Bad At Defense And Also At Not Hurting Himself
Jason Bay has never been known for his glove (or hasn't he?), and in recent years he hasn't been known for his bat. So maybe that's why he gave 110 percent last night in trying to track down a fly ball off the bat of Gregor Blanco. A valiant effort, and a ton of glove on the ball, but all Bay has t...
Janoris Jenkins: "Where In The Book Does It Say You Can't Have Kids?"
Janoris Jenkins is this year's "guy who's really good, but had some trouble so he'll scare off some prude GMs and likely be a big bargain for whoever takes him." He's been tased, he's been in a couple fights, he's got a couple busts for weed, and all of these things are potentially problematic—thing...
Nobody Wants To Do <i>Hard Knocks</i> Except The Jaguars, And <i>Hard Knocks</i> Doesn't Want Them
ESPN says that the Falcons thought about it really hard, but decided they'll pass on being profiled on Hard Knocks this season. They say they'd like to focus on football and football only, which makes us wonder if Rex Ryan wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to this show....
Child At Royals Game Is Handed A Foul Ball, Promptly Throws It Back
Two explanations for this, which happened during yesterday's Blue Jays-Royals game in Kansas City: The little guy either didn't know any better, or else he just realized he's been sentenced to a life of cheering for the Royals....
Why Did We Ever Think Ron Artest Was Interesting?
I was one of those Internet people who participated in the rebranding of Ron Artest when he arrived in L.A. a couple years ago. I wrote a sidebar to this Maxim article that branded Artest as the NBA's most lovable goofball, an article included bullshit quotes like this one from Phil Jackson:...
NJ Troopers Under Investigation For Escorting Brandon Jacobs's 100 MPH "Death Race"
New 49ers running back Brandon Jacobs loves him some fast cars. His collection has been featured in auto magazines, and after being booed by Giants fans in October, he responded "I've got nothing positive to say. The most positive thing: I got family at home and I got a fast-ass car being delivered ...
Metta World Peace's Elbow Waged War On James Harden's Head
Metta World Peace earned an ejection from today's Lakers-Thunder game when his celebration after a second-quarter dunk included an elbow to the side of James Harden's head. ...
Bubba Watson Continues Charming The Pants Off Everyone, Has Custom Green Jacket Made For Infant Son
You have to admit, this is cute as shit. As Masters Sunday wore on, we heard more and more about how Bubba Watson had adopted a son, Caleb, just weeks before the tournament. When he won, he spoke about how excited he was to go back home and see him....
It's Hell Becoming A Comfortable And Wealthy Old Filmmaker
It's the fear of any successful creative person, anyone who started their career as a young buck with fire in the belly, all the ambition in the world, all the idealism of the new and stupid: What happens when you make it? What happens when you achieve your goals, early in your life, and you have to...
The Suns Shut Down And Beat Up Blake Griffin
Blake Griffin was unstoppable in the first quarter, going 7-for-13 from the field. Phoenix regrouped, and turned the game into something more closely rembling Atari's Basketbrawl, and what do you know: it worked. Griffin didn't score another field goal the rest of the game....
Don't Dare Mention J.P. Arencibia's Insanely Low Batting Average
Master Tim Kurkjian impressionist J.P. Arencibia got himself into a little tiff this morning when he started making fat jokes aimed at a Long Island radio personality who dared bring up his atrocious season-starting stats. ESPN's Keith Law brought the tweet to the masses, and when Baseball Prospectu...
Jamie Moyer Has Faced 8.9 Percent Of All MLB Hitters Ever
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The 49-year-old Moyer keeps on chugging....
Jabar Gaffney Thinks The Redskins Want To Trade Him Because Of His Twitter Rant
Gaffney said as much to a radio station this morning, though it's "likely, but not absolutely certain" he could be even be released, a league source also told ESPN 980. Yes, Gaffney was referring to the same Twitter rant he says he wasn't responsible for because he got hacked....
Jared Allen Wonders Why The NFL Isn't Trying To Make Football Safer For Defensive Players
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Allen has some thoughts on the NFL's crackdown....
LeBron And Jay-Z Have A Secret Handshake
We regret missing this after the Nets-Heat game on Monday night, but you ought to forgive us because it was a game that involved the New Jersey Nets. LeBron James scored the Heat's final 17 points—Miami outscored Jersey by 12 in the fourth quarter but only won by three—and then shook hands with Net...
How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....
Jamie Moyer Becomes Oldest Pitcher In Baseball History To Win A Game
Good for Jamie Moyer, who pitched seven effective innings against the Padres Tuesday night to earn the 268th win of his never-ending and perpetual baseball career. At the age of 49 years, 150 days, he also became the oldest geezer to win a MLB game....
Delonte West Earned A Technical Foul For Giving Gordon Hayward A Wet Willie
Delonte West's been a source of our amusement for some time, but his antics have run him afoul of the law—and NBA referees—more often than not. He somehow escaped ejection for tonight's shenanigans, in which he shoved a finger in Jazz swingman Gordon Hayward's ear in the second quarter of the Dal...