ja Page 561 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bristolmetrics: Apocalypse Comes To Daytona Beach, And A Female Athlete Is Mentioned 16 Times On <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....
Creighton Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the Creighton Bluejays, who in beating Illinois State 83-79 in OT won the Missouri Valley Conference tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. [CBS]...
LeBron James: Purse Aficionado
There's so many great things about this screencap. First, LeBron is carrying a purse. ("It's not a purse, it's European!") What could possibly fit into such a tiny bag? ...
70-Year-Old Japanese Equestrian Earns Spot In London Olympics
Hiroshi Hoketsu (who turns 71 on March 28) earned the spot by winning an international dressage meet in France earlier this week. It remains unclear whether he will actually compete in the games, but Japanese Equestrian officials not only exist but will also announce Hoketsu's participation status ...
Sloan Sports Analytics Conference: Lots Of Smart People, And One Bro Who Likes Jerking Off In The Background
MIT's Sloan Sports Analytics Conference regularly features the best minds in sports—people like Bill James, Mark Cuban, et cetera. It also, apparently, features dudes who like making jerk-off motions behind Michael Smith, whose Numbers Never Lie program aired live from MIT yesterday. Here's Smith...
Can LeBron James Do Anything Right?
Following the Miami Heat loss to the Utah Jazz, a loss in which LeBron scored 17 in the fourth quarter but passed on the final possession, the argument goes like this: "It was the right 'basketball' play, but I would like to see LeBron take that shot." Or, as ESPN's resident basketball-as-played in...
If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, You're Fucked: 10 Tips For Avoiding Terrible Children's Books
As you may have heard, Jan Berenstain, the lady who co-created the Berenstain Bears series, died this week. And it’s measure of how bad those books are that some people wasted no time dancing on her grave. Now, it’s incredibly crass and rude to rip into a poor old woman who just died. But those book...
Watch Tim Kurkjian Watch J.P. Arencibia Do His Tim Kurkjian Impression
The voice is dead on. Either the Blue Jays catcher is a master of impersonation, or he's squeezing his testicles between his knees....
Jeff Samardzija Would Like To Eye-Hump You For A Moment
Spring training photo day is a second (or fifth) chance to make a first impression. No matter that Jeff Samardzija had had four largely irrelevant seasons in Chicago. This is 2012, and it's a new start, and a hairy intense Samardzija wants you out of those pants and in his bed before he's done smell...
Tim Tebow Had A "Dinner Date" With Taylor Swift
Big news from Page Six today: white America's two favorite savants might be having a thing....
Miguel Tejada Wants To Return To Oakland: "Tell Billy To Give Me A Call"
Oh boy, the strangest team offseason in recent memory might be getting even weirder. Miguel Tejada—the 5-9, 220 lb. shortstop who hit 156 home runs in his seven years in Oakland—wants to come back to play for the A's....
Comments Of The Fortnight-Ish: Your Racist Jokes Are The Pee-Pee In Our Coke
In recent articles on commenting we've discussed freshness and originality, and now, having tackled those, we're prepared to move on to the slightly weightier topic of race relations in Western culture. Well, not quite. But we are going to talk about racist jokes....
ESPN Won't Be Bringing Craig James Back Once His Gay-Baiting Senate Campaign Is Over
That's per SI's Richard Deitsch, who had asked ESPN a question about those gay-baiting comments James made during Wednesday's debate, and what impact they might have on James returning to work for the network. Deitsch subsequently tweeted the Worldwide Leader's answer:...
The Best And Very, Very Worst Of JaVale McGee: A Video Tribute
JaVale McGee is an elite athlete who does things that most people could never even dream of. That's what makes it all the better when JaVale decides his talents are best spent doing things like goaltending a shot into the fifth row and running back on defense while his team still has the ball. ...
Craig James Promises To "Never Ride In A Gay Parade," Says Gays Will Be Punished By God, Is A Dick
Craig James, the helicopter parent and former ESPN analyst running for a U.S. Senate seat in Texas, brought his Socratic stylings to a Republican debate on a Wednesday. In the midst of a big gay pile-on in which James and something called Ted Cruz chastised a former Dallas mayor for marching in a ga...
All The Racist Jokes You Shouldn't Make About Jeremy Lin, According To The Asian American Journalists Association
If you're part of a minority group, there's a journalism association for you. NABJ, AWSM, SAJA, NAAJA, NAHJ, AMEJA, EAJA, WAJA, the acronyms go on. But Linsanity, with all the casual racism associated with it, is AAJA's time to shine. The Asian American Journalists Association has been all over the ...
Elijah Dukes Tried His Best, But Couldn't Quite Swallow A Bag Of Weed Before Being Arrested
Elijah Dukes, aka Elijah David Dukes Jr., aka Fly Eli, was arrested early this morning in Tampa. I know, not news. It's his 10th arrest in Hillsborough County alone, and the Tampa Tribune says he's been arrested "dozens of times" since 2001, on charges ranging from domestic violence to drug possessi...
Luke Ridnour's Buzzer-Beating Floater Wasn't Pretty, But Got The Job Done
Minnesota bounced back from a 15-point fourth quarter deficit and beat Utah 100-98 on this awkward Luke Ridnour floater that should not be used from instructional purposes under any circumstances, ever. [Root Sports]...
JaVale McGee Volleyball-Served A Goaltend Into The Fifth Row
JaVale McGee watched Top Gun today, and the pulse-pounding rock of Kenny Loggins inspired him to come out and perform in tonight's Kings-Wizards matchup. Unfortunately, that meant this ridiculous goaltending call that had him smacking the ball into the crowd like he had beef with Iceman. Play-in ...
Glory Days: I Was Paul Pierce's Nightmare (In A Game We Lost By 58 Points)
Sports greatness takes place all the time, all over the country. Sometimes, as with our own Tommy Craggs, those moments of triumph are preserved forever, even if it's on a crappy videotape that's been forgotten about and no one's watched it for years. In this occasional series, we'll show the vid...