ja Page 565 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...

Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...

Jason Richardson Entered A Game In The Middle Of A Play Last Night And Got Away With It
The Magic scored just 56 points and made only 16 field goals in their blowout loss to the Celtics, who were without Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen. But that might not have been the worst of it for Orlando: At one point here in the third quarter, they had just four players on the court during a defensiv...

"Cundiff" Is Already Being Used As A Verb
Kansas Jayhawks fans adapted their free throw distraction techniques to fit current events, as Billy Cundiff's name appeared behind the basket during last night's tilt against Texas A&M....

Jack Edwards Is Live-Tweeting His Visit To The White House
Bruins announcer @RealJackEdwards, a real American who hates the Canadian monarchy or something, is visiting the White House and letting his Twitter followers in on his deranged thoughts ("Anyone wanna tangle with the US Navy?"). It's a treat....

Kristin Cavallari And Jay Cutler Are Gonna Have A Baby
So what if Jay Cutler got injured and missed six games of the Bears' season, causing the team to miss the playoffs? He's more POTENT than he's ever been!...

Yes, This Is CBS Host James Brown Interviewing A Fake Baby
It took CBS all of 15 hours to do something more embarrassing than prematurely reporting Joe Paterno's death. Here's a clip from the network's The NFL Today, something we're pretty sure is an advertisement for E*Trade—though we thought FCC rules mandated such things needed to be disclosed to the ...

Florida Law Requires Stadiums to Shelter Homeless On Off Nights; Not A Single One Has Complied
As is the case in most cities with professional franchises, the buildings that host Florida's professional sports teams have been built with the assistance of taxpayer contributions. It's played off as a symbiotic relationship (new stadium means new jobs, more revenue coming in, etc.) but most of t...

JaVale McGee's Mother Has Some Ideas About How The Washington Wizards Should Showcase JaVale McGee
The Washington Wizards may be complacent on the court, but no one works harder on finding hilarious ways to be dysfunctional. Today's contributor: JaVale McGee's mommy, who has complaints about her son's playing time, his role in the team's offense, and whether he's being coached properly....

20,000 Screaming Children Watch A Soccer Match
The last time AZ Alkmaar came to town, an Ajax fan attacked their keeper. AZ was pulled off the field, and the Dutch FA later declared the game a wash. Today was the replay, but due to the Netherlands' — and specifically's Ajax's — problems with ultras, the match was supposed to be played in an empt...

The Patriot Way Is Now A Load Of Shit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

If Hillary Clinton Farted Near Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, This Is Probably What It Would Look Like
Abdul-Jabbar — bearing a copy of his new book — was in Washington today to be officially named a United States global Cultural Ambassador. He and Clinton posed for photos, the only one of which that matters at right....

The Banned Boca Raton Women's Professional Soccer Team Will Keep Playing In Zombie Form
Women's Professional Soccer's year-long battle with its ultimate nemesis, magicJack owner and giant motor-tricycle aficionado Dan Borislow, has finally come to a close. WPS may have escaped extinction last month, but they can't escape Dan Borislow....

Craig James's Senate Campaign Is Going About As Poorly As You Expected It To Go
The Houston Chronicle has the former ESPN analyst polling lower than Michele Bachmann in Iowa in his run for a Texas U.S. Senate seat. When James made his intention to run known last month, his "name recognition" figured to be among his assets. So how's that working out?...

This Is What A Decisive Victory In A Jack-In-The-Box Parking Lot Looks Like
A few things can be taken from this fisticuffs festival outside a Jack-in-the-Box somewhere out there. ALWAYS guard yourself after you land a shot, especially if your foe has already landed at least three to your dome. NEVER hit a man when he's down. And YES, there are still Jack-in-the-Box eateri...

Dwyane Wade Turns 30, Has Best Super Sweet 16 Party Ever
Judging by the countless professional photographs and edited montage videos that tend to come out of these productions nowadays, Dwyane Wade had a more expensive and corporate-sponsored birthday party than you this year....

ShortCenter: Jalen Rose Blames <em>SportsCenter</em>, MTV For JaVale McGee's Showboating
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Jack Harbaugh On His Sons: “They Have No Weaknesses. They’re Just Like Their Mother. They’re Stealth.”
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the coaching patriarch refuses to play favorites....

Chandler Parsons Just Dunked On JaVale McGee
Sure, it's a tip-slam, but if you're 7'0" JaVale McGee then the likes of Chandler Parsons should not be dunking on you—under any circumstances. Parsons then rides around with his crotch in McGee's face for a few seconds just added to the degradation, but these sorts of things are how a team like ...

Here's ESPN's Heather Cox Reciting Lyrics To Rick Ross's "Fuck 'Em" Live On The Air
Maybe I'm missing the story. Maybe the story is that Heather Cox worked Tim Tebow, LeBron James, and Rick Ross into a single sentence. While previous ESPN on-air rap recitations have gone pretty smoothly, this instance (during last night's Heat-Nuggets battle) felt...wrong. [ESPN]...