ja Page 571 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Oregon Fans Make The "O" Symbol, They're Screaming "Vagina" In American Sign Language, <em>New York Times</em> Reports
The New York Times shared an important revelation out of Eugene, Ore. yesterday, and we wanted to pass it on because we are immature: the spade-shaped Oregon "O" that Ducks fans so enthusiastically make to show support for the team means "vagina" in American Sign Language....
Remember: This NFL Season Could Have Been David Sterned
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Jack The Ripper Spoiled The Unveiling Of Canada's Newest Baseball Team, The London Rippers
The group behind London, Ontario's newest pro baseball team, the Rippers, claims not to have had one of the most infamous serial killers in mind when they chose the name and designed the logo seen here. London, Ontario's "Ripper" is a man hiding behind a cape, wearing a top hat, and wielding a baseb...
LeBron Misses Two Jumpers, Feels Bad, Dunks On A Helpless Child Instead
Your morning roundup for Nov. 17, the day we learned there are children in China who love school, a lot. Video courtesy Hoops Fix, via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
My Peach-Cobbler Hallucination About LeBron James, PCP, Outlaw Bikers, Cocks, Abortion, And Suicide
When LeBron James stood up the Cavs live on ESPN last season, Esquire writer Scott Raab took his 50-plus years of sad-sack Cleveland sports fandom and became a one-man hate machine. For those of you annoyed by Raab's anti-King James Twitter rantings last year, you'll be happy to know his new book is...
The CEO Of Jerry Sandusky's Charity Has Resigned
According to the grand jury report, Penn State athletic director Tim Curley "testified that he informed Dr. Jack Raykovitz, Executive Director of The Second Mile of the conduct reported to him..." That conversation took place nine years ago. The Second Mile will now be represented by a law firm tha...
Don Johnson, The Champagne King And The Beast Of Blackjack, Has Once Again Punished An Atlantic City Casino
After a few months of suspiciously restrained behavior, blackjack savant Don Johnson has returned. He was spotted in October in Atlantic City stuffing fistfuls of casino chips into his gullet. Just grinding them up between his world-class molars. No, I made that up. He was actually cashing in fistfu...
Gaah! Torry Holt's Finger Will Haunt Your Dreams
Your morning roundup for Nov. 11, the day we learned you can be arrested for being annoying. Photo via Carmine R. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Rest Easy, America: The White House Disapproves Of Penn State Child Rape
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said today that "the president's thoughts and prayers, and all our thoughts and prayers, are with the victims of the abuse and the family members of those victims."...
Are All Fake Field Goals And Fake Punts Useless?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
LeBron Dunks, Mean Mugs, Refuses Lady's High-Five
LeBron played in Rudy Gay's charity all-star game just outside of Memphis last night. He scored 43 points and, as he tends to do, made no new friends at the DeSoto Civic Center in Southaven, Miss. There might be a lockout underway, but worry not, heathens: Together, we will still find ways to mock...
Jay Cutler's On-And-Off Ladyfriend, Kristin Cavallari, Says He Has The Best Butt In Football
@KristinCav wishes @JayCutler6, and his butt, luck tonight against Juan Castillo and his occasionally ferocious wide nine defense: "To the man with the best butt in football, good luck tonight @jaycutler6 ill be watching." Suave Cutler replies, "thanks babe."...
Patriotic GameDay Protesters Unfurl FIRE CRAIG JAMES Banner
Math scholars will debate for centuries whether it is possible Craig James > Tebow....
The Trystan Magnuson Era In Toronto Begins, And Other Exciting Hot Stove Developments
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!!...
Craig James Recommends You Not Watch <em>SportsCenter</em>; Rest Of Nation Recommends You Not Watch Craig James
If ESPN analyst Craig James were a football coach—as opposed to someone who allegedly gets football coaches fired—he'd tell athletes not to watch SportsCenter, because "highlight culture" promotes "reckless handling of the football." ESPN's lead Thursday announcer Rece Davis, who must have done so...
Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...
The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...
Dear Bill Simmons, The Helmet Catch Was Not Luck
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Candy Thief Gets Absolutely Trucked While Running From Cops
Via local news connoisseur Jimmy Traina comes this breaking post-Halloween news out of Phoenix. A group of young men had been stealing candy from grocery stores to the tune of hundreds of dollars, until police pulled them over. One man ran, hiding on the rooftops. Then: pepper spray, a slippery ca...
What Do NFL Scouts Think They Know About Quarterbacks?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....