ja Page 625 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...

The Triumvirate Of Misery. Your Championship Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Mark Sanchez Is The New JaMarcus Russell, Only Worse
Vince Verhei draws an intriguing comparison. JaMarcus Russell, 2008-09: 198-for-368, 2,423 yards, 13 TDs. Mark Sanchez, 2009-10: 196-for-364, 2,444 yards, 12 TDs. The difference? Sanchez threw more picks. And only six people thought to mention Russell’s “poise.” Six....

Sports Fella Summons His Inner Black Guy For LeBron James Column, With Humorous Results
Bill Simmons watched LeBron James play basketball in person and he's very excited about it. We're talking 3,144 words of excitement and awe and Witnessing. Then he some how managed to go overboard beyond his usual overboarding....

JaMarcus Russell Is The King Of Mardi Gras
Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]...

Taiwan CGI'ers Take On Leno vs. Conan
Fresh off interpreting the Tiger Woods follies, Taiwan's considerable technological might comes to bear on the late night wars. Except Jay, Conan and Zucker are superheroes here, for some reason. This medium is the future of journalism, by the way....

One-Fourth Of Lane Kiffin Rumor Turns Out To Be True
A Knoxville Lexus dealer confirms that a car they leased to Kiffin through the university was involved in an accident at some point in the past. Feel free to jump to whatever conclusions you deem appropriate. [WVLT]...

That's Got To Be At Least A Yellow Card
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman And A Baby Walk Into A Bar...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rabbi Phil Jackson Worries About Donald Sterling's Soul
"If you do a good mitzvah, maybe you can eliminate some of those things. Do you think that Sterling's done enough mitzvahs to eliminate some of those? How about all those other incidents that we have on file?" [LAT]...

Last Night's Winner: Journalism
In sports, everyone is a winner-some peopleinstitutions just win better than others. Like GQ's story on the Marvin Harrison case, which renewed some faith in the flailing Fourth Estate. Prompted by the story, the FBI is taking another look....

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...

How Lane Kiffin Resurrected, Then Destroyed Tennessee's Recruiting Program
Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron quickly turned Tennessee recruiting in a national superstar, but their noisy exit could not have come at a worse time and will leave the Volunteers worse off than when they took over....

Hitler: The Drinking Game! Your Divisional Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

"Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Guy Dies On Sadly Appropriate Day Of The Week
Jan Gabriel, the motorsports announcer and demolition-derby promoter whose commercials gave us the immortal "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" phrase, died of kidney disease on Sunday. [chitownradio.com, jancgabriel.com]...

Jayson Williams Pleads Guilty To Shooting
Jayson Williams, Troubled Former Athlete, showed up in court today to plead guilty—for real this time—to aggravated assault for accidentally shooting his chauffeur. That, plus about 18 months in prison, will end his legal ordeal....

The Jayhawks' New Game Plan Is Undefendable (Too Bad They Didn't Use It Today)
Looking for a way around the half-court press, practicing Kansas players jacked up a half-court shot. Then another. Then another. And so on and so forth....

Selig Wants To Outsource Championships Now
A "global World Series," besides being redundant, is Bud Selig's latest bright idea to grow the game worldwide. It will also make us look bad....

Wizards Now Pretending Gilbert Arenas Never Existed
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Seahawks Shack Up With Pete Carroll As If He Were A Grad Student Living In Malibu
Pete Carroll has come to terms with Seattle, according to the stuffed animals at Adam Schefter's tea party. He'll be introduced just as soon as the Seahawks find a minority in whom to feign interest. [ESPN]...