ja Page 628 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Still Looking For Old Saint Dick
It's never good to let a coach's unfortunate firing ruin a joyful time of the year — and a perfectly good Christmas card. Remember when Dick Jauron was tactfully "removed" from the Bills' team photo? The team made lemonade....

Just The #Tips, Please, Starring Insensitive Jay Feely Tweets
So this is a reminder to all readers and commenters that the #tips is a place for you to submit story ideas and suggestions for us to look over. Please use it at your leisure....

NFL Network Can Suffer A Rancid Amputation – Your Christmasaroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Forget It Jake. It's Dodgertown.
The Frank McCourt divorce gets more bizarre by the day. After last week's mini-scandal featuring a homewrecking chauffeur and the Taiwanese goverment, I have to wonder why this isn't the biggest sports story going....

Tiger's Latest Mistress: A Doping Scandal
Because Tiger Woods doesn't have enough problems right now, being embroiled in a drug investigation should liven things up a bit. At least he should be used to the innuendo, speculation, and snickering taunts by now....

Basketball, As Seen Through The Prism Of A Chipotle Burrito
UWM's James "Big Lumber" Eayrs: "[Rice] is the point guard to my burrito, holding everything together. Next, my main ingredient, double chicken. It fills my stomach like a center should fill the lane. Next in line, my salsas..." [HZN, via]...

Randy Moss Wins the Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Randy Moss, who won the weekend by letting his teammates do the heavy lifting for him. Why should he put himself out?...

James Harrison's Mom Won't Have Any Of That Stuff
Silverback's momma got into some sort of tussle at a football-viewing party on Thursday night in Akron, Ohio. She and two others were charged with assault for all sorts of punching, kicking, and bottle-throwing as the Steelers' season unraveled. [PFT]...

All College Football Games To Be Settled By White Rapper Battles (Update!)
Not to be outdone by the only two guys in Iowa who listen to rap music, Georgia Tech fans would like to remind you about their opponents in the Orange Bowl of Awkward "Hip Hop" Videos, The GTGs. Lose yourself.......

The Five Stages Of Football Grief. Jamboroo, Week 14
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

And Now A Brief Update From Our Comment Ninjas On Policies Going Forward...
In the spirit of holiday house-cleaning, it's time for a crash course in comments etiquette. What can you do? What should you definitely never do? What, in effect, do we want from you, Mr. or Ms. Deadspin Commenter?...

Hold That, Tiger
Our friends Toucher and Rich noticed an interesting bit of ink on the lower back region of Joslyn James, that may or may not be a large jungle cat-like thing poised to pounce on anyone who approaches her from behind....

That One Line In "Empire State Of Mind" About Dwyane Wade And LeBron James, Explained
"If Jeezy's paying LeBron," Jay-Z raps, "I'm paying Dwyane Wade." As David Cho points out, the reference is to the price of a kilogram of cocaine, not, as is commonly thought, to a drawing by John Lennon's kid. [The Awl]...

2009 SHOTY Nominee: Jay Mariotti
It is this reporter's opinion that if you say "Roger Ebert can kiss my ass," you are a bad person. It's just my philosophy....

Chaos In Tigerland: A Deadspin Investigation Into The Sexual Habits Of Pro Athletes
Here's a story about three women and their relationships with Tiger Woods. One is a porn star you haven't met. The other two are rumored mistresses, but they're really much more important than that. Welcome to Tigerland....

By The Time You Read This, Another Woman Will Have Claimed To Have Had Sex With Tiger Woods
Add three (possibly four!) more wenches to the pile. For those keeping score: Jamie Jungers, 26, Trashy Girl; Mindy Lawton, 33, hotcake harlot; Cori Rist, 26, blond thing. Sports By Brooks has already watermarked every available photo of them....

As It Turns Out, NBA Players Haven't Completely Tuned Out David Stern
David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)...

Joakim Noah To LeBron James: "You're A Jerk"
Last night's Cavs-Bulls game was marked by an argument between LeBron James and Joakim Noah, occasioned by King James dancing on the sidelines during Cleveland's 101-87 win. The b-word was apparently thrown, ooh!...

Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go!...