ja Page 632 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Purple Jesus Is Gonna Break His F*cking Neck. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Nails Is No Match For The Japanese Carl Monday
Yep, that's Lenny Dykstra, caught on Japanese television in a Los Angeles pawn shop. Deadspin translation services are on the case, after the jump....

Rampage Jackson Quits UFC To Focus On Mr. T Impersonation
After blowing off his last fight to star in the upcoming A-Team movie, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson blogs that he's retiring. Special thanks to "the dumb ass fans that don't pay my bills or put my kids though college." [IFight365]...

Boston Now Leads The League In Bubbly, Young Sports Reporters
Jade McCarthy is the newest reporter to join NESN's broadcast crew—a team that already features Heidi Watney and Kathryn Tappen. [Red Sox Monster]...

The Bleeding Kansas Athletic Department (UPDATE)
Jayhawk guard Tyshawn Taylor suffered a dislocated thumb during a brawl between KU basketball and football players in front of the student union. I bet the dispute had something to do with evolution....

Chris Fowler Feels Clemson Fan's Pain (Not Really)
If you watched Georgia Tech beat Clemson two weeks ago, you might have noticed this Tiger fan's Oscar reel for Most Distraught Football Fanatic and the announcing crew's on-air sympathy. Of course, off the air was a different story....

Fire! Fire! Fire!
If you've got a javelin lodged in your leg, what do you do? If you're the Chinese, you burn it! [Daily Star]...

Jacory Harris Breaks Out The Pink Suit And Pimp Cup
Ready for wild, uneducated declarations? Miami quarterback Jacory Harris will be the #1 pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. He'll be just like JaMarcus Russell, only he'll be good instead of grossly obese....

LeBron Conquers Hollywood, One Wacky Hijink At A Time
The geniuses behind "City Slickers 2" are penning "Fantasy Basketball Camp," starring LeBron James. You might have seen this story already today, but it gives me an excuse to run this photo. [Ain't It Cool News]...

Mouthcurtains and Fake Gusgasms. Jamboroo, Week 2.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

This Man Is Truly Living The Dream
After hitting the Powerball jackpot, Jay Vargas — aka J.V. Rich — used his winnings to start Wrestlicious, a pro wrestling/sketch comedy show featuring only women in bikinis. Actually, that's a better idea than some crap college fund. [WTSP]...

In A Time Of Mourning, Our Nation Turns Its Eyes To Jair Jurrjens
Earlier this summer, as you already know, pop culture icons Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died on the same day in a tragic and unexpected murder suicide....

It's Fight Night In The Bronx
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....

Dear NBC, DIE
I hate you, NBC. I hate you so very much. All I wanted to do this weekend was enjoy some football....

An All-Too-Brief Moment Of Steeler Schadenfreude
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Love And Football. The Return Of The Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find links to more of Drew's stuff at his Twitter feed....

Mark Whicker Has Left The Yard Before
The year was 1991. Journalist and ex-Marine Terry Anderson had just been freed after nearly seven years of captivity in Lebanon. Seven years is a long time. Luckily, a columnist named Mark Whicker was around to put it in perspective....
