ja Page 632 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yes, That Was Pat Sajak And A-Rod Groping Jeter's Buttocks
Alex Rodriguez's magic tush massage could not overcome the haunting Sajak voodoo gaze as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim staved off the Yankee gorilla trouncing for one more day. Something called Jeff Mathis is today's hero....

USC's Blake Ayles Thanks Notre Dame Fans For Their Hospitality
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Sad News Out Of Storrs
UConn cornerback Jasper Howard was stabbed to death after a school-sponsored dance at the student union. [Courant]...

LeBron James Is Sick In The Original Sense Of The Word
LeBron and two teammates have tested positive for Influenza A, and the Cavs are treating them like H1N1 cases. Worse, King James just gave more fuel to the anti-vaccine crazies: He thinks he got sick from his flu shot. [ESPN]...

These Announcers Aren’t Drunk Enough. Jamboroo, Week 6
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....

Chris Bosh Now Owns The Internet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stephen Jackson Ain't Leading Nobody Nowhere
Stephen Jackson doesn't want to be the captain of the Warriors anymore because all you do is "talk to the refs." That and he hates his coach and is demanding a trade. How will they survive without that leadership? [SFChronicle]...

Forget All Other Tributes: Presenting The Favre Firebird
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Jackie Robinson A Republican Hero, Say Republicans
One of the most asked questions we here at Deadspin get is "If Jackie Robinson were alive today, how would he vote?" Well, someone's offered an answer....

January Jones Seems Like A Fun Lady
And her Halloween outfit this year is downright inspired: Troy Polamalu. "I'll get the wig. Put on some bronzer. And I'll just cross myself all night," she says, mulling it over. "Or maybe I'll be Houshmandzadeh." [GQ via AnimalNY]...

The Hunt For Mr. October
A-Rod, through 42 postseason games: .291, 25 RBIs, 9 HRs, 46 hits, 158 at-bats, not a True Yankee, not clutch. Reggie Jackson, through his first 42: .265, 19 RBIs, 7 HRs, 40 hits, 151 at-bats, True Yankee, clutch. [Village Voice]...

Stafon Johnson Appreciates The Ironic T-Shirt
USC running back Stafon Johnson seems to be doing pretty well, considering he was nearly decapitated by a barbell just days ago. Well enough to pose for pictures with his matching tracheostomy tube and weightlifting t-shirt, anyway....

Theo Fleury Admits He Was Abused By Junior Coach
Hockey observers had long suspected that something was not right with former Calgary star Theo Fleury and now he admits in a new book what they knew all along—he was sexually abused by youth hockey coach Graham James....

The One Where Jared Allen Shows He Can Croon
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

What’s The Next Big Late Night Scandal? LET’S PLAY ODDSMAKER!
I was deeply offended by David Letterman's admission last week that he shits where he eats. Not on any moral issue, mind you, but because it gave me a mental image of David Letterman fucking....

Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...

The Most Hopeless Franchise In Football. Jamboroo, Week 5
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

The Forgotten Man Of <em>Moneyball</em>, Part 1
He calls himself "the pebble that started the avalanche," the man who taught baseball analysis to Billy Beane. Gandhi, someone wrote, sparking MLK's revolution. Today, Moneyball remains a hotly debated phenomenon. Eric Walker is a footnote. Here's the footnote's story....
