ja Page 633 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mark Whicker Leaves The Yard
I do not say this lightly: What you're about to read is the single worst piece of sports journalism ever committed to the page....

<em>National Review</em> Guy Continues Dumb Crusade Against Imaginary Scourge Of Lefty Sportswriters
Whiny Jay Nordlinger is now soliciting examples of mean old press-box commies mixing partisan politics with sports. He says he's making an "omnium-gatherum," which is Latin for "butt plug." [NRO]...

Jay Mariotti Thinks USC’s Freshman QB Is Totally Cute
It's not uncommon for sportswriters to have man-crushes on athletes, but when you lead with this Freudian slip, you're bound to raise some eyebrows: "The afternoon sun was orgasmic. … Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley's smile."...

Ex-OSU Tight End May Have a Problem With Raping People
Earlier this week, sophomore Jamal Mosley up and left the Oklahoma State football team for what head coach Mike Gundy called "personal reasons". Turns out by "personal reasons", he meant "multiple rape allegations". To-may-to, to-mah-to, I guess....

Rampage Jackson Ditches Upcoming Bout to Star in A-Team Movie
I wonder which character he'll play?...

Alex Rodriguez Loves His Mounties
A-Rod got a little up close and personal with the Toronto police department last night and, as is his wont, he got a little handsy. Come on, Kate Hudson. Can't you control your man?...

<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...

Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...

Jeff Jagodzinski Has Not Had A Good Year
Tampa Bay has not even seen their new offense in real-time competition yet, but they have apparently seen enough to know that it stinks. They fired coordinator Jeff Jagodzinski today, just one week before Opening Day....

Smokin' Jay: Cutler Sure Does Clean Up Nicely
Judging by this month's Michigan Avenue Magazine, the new Bears quarterback wants to mount a serious challenge to Matt Ryan as the best-looking ball-slinger in the NFL. What else is he saying with these hot new looks?...

Watch As Your Childhood Gets Choked Out
Jason David Frank, best only known as the Green Power Ranger, is entering MMA. His first opponent will be the winless Lord Zedd. [MMA Weekly]...

Reach For The Heavens! Or At Least Use A Ladder
You think embarrassing team photos are a new phenomenon? Check these three light-in-the-loafers Jayhawks from a few years back. I implore you, keep sending these in. After the jump, an unidentified high school team utilizes hardware, for some reason....

Erin Andrews Still Being Victimized
By People magazine. Wrong blonde lady who was supposedly boned by a steely-eyed Red Sox catcher, guys! [People]...

No One In Jacksonville Will Be Forced To Watch The Jaguars
Twelve NFL teams could be affected by blackout rules this year—only three teams had blackouts last season—including Jacksonville, where local television may end up broadcasting zero home games. It's still better than living in Tallahassee. [SBJ]...

White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel
The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season....

They're Not Saying "Boo!" They're Saying "I Hope You Die In A House Fire, You Pansy"
Jay Cutler returned to Denver last night for the first time since his temper tantrum-induced trade and did moderately well for a first half. A Neckbeard-less Kyle Orton also suffered a sewing injury on his index finger. [DenverPost]...

A Rough Night For Alabama High School Football
A head coach and a referee died in two separate incidents during the opening night of high school football in Alabama on Friday....

Did Miguel Tejada Tip Pitches In 2001?
The New York Times seems to think he did, only the paper says so in such a mealymouthed and sidelong way that one starts to wonder if something else is going on here....

Illiterate Hockey Coach Now Writing Canada's Laws
Former NHL coach Jacques Demers—who admitted in 2005 that he is functionally illiterate—was appointed to the Canadian Senate by his buddy Stephen Harper. Eh, nobody reads government bills anyway. [Toronto Star]...

Scoop Jackson Loses His Mind, Again
Scoop on Brett Favre: "If he were a woman, he wouldn't be able to get away with this and still be respected, because this is not the behavior of respectable ladies...They have names for women like that." [ESPN.com]...