ja Page 643 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wait, Which Jason Smith?
There's one that plays hockey, one that plays baseball, one that plays basketball, there's about five guys on IMDB with that name, and three gynecologists with that name....

Jay Cutler's Late Night Activities Prompt Furious Debate
Bears' general manager Jerry Angelo isn't worried about Jay Cutler's drinking . Former punky QB Jim McMahon says "It's the off season!" And now for Julia Allison's side of the story....

Gary Bettman Does Not Appreciate Your Octopus-Throwing Antics
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo)....

Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....

Money For Nothing And Your Outfielders For Free
Outfielder Jason Tyner was assigned to Class AAA by the Tigers, who acquired him today from the Brewers for, apparently, nothing. [NBCSports]...

Jimmy Smith Is Not Handling Retirement So Well
Former Jacksonville Jaguar star Jimmy Smith was pulled over for a minor traffic violation yesterday and ended up in jail on cocaine possession charges. That's not what I call enjoying your golden years....

Even Kansas Is Somehow Benefiting From John Calipari's Move
The Henry brothers—high school senior Xavier and his Memphis Tiger sibling, C.J.—are both enrolling at Kansas. (Sources say!) Way to kick a Door when it's down. [Fox, via RTC; more @ SI]...

Beware The Withering Insults Of FIGJAM
Regardless of what people think of Phil Mickelson, he'll always have an enthusiastic fan base and the admiration of some of his peers, regardless of how douchey he comes off sometimes....

Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....

Alexander Ovechkin Can't Drive 55
Rachel Nichols had a nice "so now you know" profile about the NHL's goofy MVP on E:60 last night. What do you think happens when a toothless, 23-year-old adrenaline junkie gets handed $100 million?...

Chill Life With J.A. Adande
Once again, here is another photo of indeterminate origin of ESPN/LA Times Pimpmaster General J.A. Adande in bedtime attire within five feet of scantily clad women....

How Clemens' Retirement May Have Single-Handedly Sunk The Housing Market
At this rate there are going to be more books on Roger Clemens than on Abraham Lincoln ... and why not? Lincoln never kept apartments in 12 different cities for all of his women....

Columbus Will Never Forget Its First Time
Down 0-2 to Detroit, the Blue Jackets host their first-ever home playoff game tonight and Puck Daddy has a tribute to other playoff virgins. Confused Buckeye fans are unsure what to burn. [Puck Daddy]...

You Not Dead, Dawg
The Great Falls Little League has stepped up and will pay Elijah Dukes' tardiness fine. It's $500. That means they will have to sell at least 400 Suicide Sodas at their next home game. [WaPo]...

Jason Giambi Grows Up. Sort Of.
Jason Giambi's recent interview with GQ shows that even though he's now 38-years-old, he's still the same freewheeling maniac that you'd want to host your bachelor party....

Jay-Z Defends Michael Phelps' Bong-Smoking Habits
"[A]ll these people who graduated from Princeton and Harvard, who are supposed to be pillars of the community, every day [they're] in the newspaper arrested for some kind of financial fraud." [Hip Hop DX]...

This New Detroit Lion Logo Should Fix Everything
The rumors are true. It seems that the new Lions logo that "leaked" awhile back is legit and a new typeface and squiggly lines will soon usher in a glorious new era of Detroit football....

Elijah Dukes Uses His Powers For Good, Still Gets Into Trouble
Elijah Dukes spent Saturday afternoon signing autographs for Little Leaguers. Naturally, that led to him being benched, a crushing defeat for the Nationals, and a teammate with a broken ankle....

Meet Your Weekend Deadspin Guest Editor, In The Most "Weekend" Sense Of The Term
I'm Moe, and contrary to what some of you seem to be insinuating, I haven't smoked weed in such a long time you would probably have to carbon-date my urine to find any trace....

Finally, Something Good Happens To The Eagles This Off-Season
Jason Peters, Buffalo Bills Pro Bowl tackle, is headed to Philadelphia. [Philly.com]...