ja Page 644 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

French Auto Mechanics Are Quite Dedicated
What do you do when your throttle cable snaps and your car dies just a short distance from the end of the stage in your rally car race? You climb under the hood and operate it manually while your navigator steers. I don't see what the big deal is; I used to drive to work this way all the time. By my...

0-16 Is Upon Us. Jamboroo, Week 11, Featuring King Diamond, Poop, And Mongolian Wok
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. The...

And Just When You Thought You've Seen Everything on Facebook....
This is Fox Sports/KC Star columnist Jason Whitlock's latest status update. Good God. Somebody send the man a laxative. Given all the problems Facebook has caused people in the last week, this one will hopefully not get anyone fired. Except, perhaps, Mr. Whitlock's proctologist. Odds on being de-fr...

How To Quietly Open A Beer Can. Jamboroo, Week 10.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. My ...

Rinku And Dinesh Go To White Castle The Majors
Not since Apu quit the Kwik-E-Mart have we seen a more unlikely story involving people from India. Meet Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, a pair of teenagers with dreams of playing Major League baseball. It was Walkoff Walk which first introduced the sporting blogosphere to these guys back in May, when ...

Your Halloween Costume Was Not This Good
I went to two pretty decent Halloween parties last weekend and saw a lot of clever costumes—Tony Stark with glowing chest plate, Anton Chigurh, Carmen Sandiego, Sewer Urchin, half the cast of "The Maltese Falcon," two Sarah Palins, 16 Jokers, and a dude in a Chinese gymnast leotard. But none—none—of...

LeBron's New Shoes Are Apparently an Aphrodisiac
So, Nike has released the latest ad for LeBron James's line of shoes, and it features Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussy Cat Dolls. If you're the kind of person who has always longed for a hoops-based soft core porn movie, today's your lucky day, partner. ...

HALLOWEENAROO! Jamboroo, Week 8
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. It'...

30 Previews In 30 Days: The Utah Jazz
The NBA season has started! But, like, we still have two previews to go! Up next is a team that loves the pick-and-roll...and quiet evenings at home. They are: The Utah Jazz. When last we saw them: Finished 54-28, first in the Northwest Division and fourth overall in the West. Lost to the Lakers in ...

Cutler's Beirut Arm Is Stronger Than Elway's
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap "These pictures were taken @ the Tin Roof in Nashville where Jay Cutler spent homecoming. I guess Jay took the 10-7 loss to Duke pretty hard and wanted to show off his Beirut skill...

Jamie Moyer Was Sick Last Night, In A Very Literal Way
Last night's pitching performance by Jamie Moyer is already becoming the stuff that legends are made of. Not only did the 167-year-old baffle the Rays hitters with pinpoint accuracy and a fastball that barely reached 80mph, but according to Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal - who would be one sick bastard i...

Tony Zendejas Will Knock You Out, Take That Booty
If you're like me and start your morning off by going through court proceedings of sexual abuse cases - don't you dare judge me! - you tend to become desensitized by most of the testimonies regarding these brutal escapades. But when you read something like "the largest anal tear the medical examiner...

The World Series Can Eat A Bag Of D—ks. Jamboroo, Week 8.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, hits stores on Monday but is available online right now here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....

So Rick Telander Meets Jay Mariotti Sweaty and Nude...
The long-standing feud between former Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti and current CST columnist Rick Telander has been well-publicized and generated notoriety given its potential for violence. Once Jay quit, the yelps of joy from inside the Sun-Times' newsroom could pretty much be heard (or...

Brett Favre, ESPN, Jay Glazer and You
Brett Favre finally addressed the issues surrounding the Jay Glazer report about whether or not he shared offensive secrets with the Lions prior to the Packers game. As you may have heard: Glazer broke the story, ESPN sends out standard memo instructing its Bristol army NOT TO REPORT THAT STORY, and...

Jake Peavy Would Prefer to Run And Hit And Sing and LAUGH AND LOVE!
The rumours about Jake Peavy's longing to stop wearing camouflage continue to churn along. The Padres ace, who went 10-11 last year despite having an era of only 2.85 (in case you were wondering why he wouldn't mind a trade), has apparently shortlisted his, um, list of desirable teams to five: the B...

Scoop Jackson Would Like To Get Real With You For A Minute
Buried at the bottom of Page 2 today is a clarification from columnist Scoop Jackson, who caused a veritable shitstorm thanks to his B.J. Upton column, when he haphazardly implied that Upton's laziness was a reason for young African-Americans to look up to him. Not really what he meant, of course, b...

Scoop Jackson's Column Continues to Offend; Jason Whitlock Demands Swift Editorial Execution
Scoop Jackson has once again sparked the ire of, oh, lots of people with this latest ESPN2 column about the Tampa Bay Rays’ B.J. Upton. In it, Jackson praises Upton as the one MLB player who can “bring the game back to the hood” while using some undermining and preposterous logic to substantiate his...

Jamboroo, Week 7. Featuring: Red Zone Channel, AJ Hawk’s DMB Love Affair, And Boiled Peanuts
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, hits stores on October 27th but is available online right now here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week a...

Mangino Will Not Tolerate Your Rob Schneider Movie Quotes
We turn now to the University of Kansas, where the struggle between Mark Mangino and Rob Schneider for the very soul of the Jayhawk football program has reached a tipping point. Kansas students have just received a mass email from student leaders which features a video of Mangino himself asking — na...