I mean, sure, all-black is slimming, and fur-coat-and-sweatsuit getups are not. But still. Russell is lean, mean, and ready to quarterback someone—anyone—to mediocrity. If Tim Tebow can get a shot, why can't he?

JaMarcus Russell is now out on the streets of San Diego doing his thing, according to a reader, who, evidently, would like to be identified as "Sleazy Wink." He writes:

JaMarcus Russell, the first overall pick of the 2007 draft, pretty much ate and purple drank his way through $31.5 million in guaranteed money. The Raiders cut him loose in May 2010, and he had a couple of failed tryouts with the Redskins and Dolphins later that summer. Since then, the only signal-calling he's done…

iVillage.com seems like the kind of website that moms are supposed to read. Really lame moms, based on the fact that it runs articles that are as hilariously pearl clutch-y as this one.

We wrote a bit yesterday about how Panthers QB/super-rookie Cam Newton has been shortchanged by the national media. We framed it through the prism of Tim Tebow, although Newton deserves plenty of recognition in his own right.

We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries.

LSU Sports Information Director Michael Bonnette tweeted yesterday that former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell would be returning to Baton Rouge to take classes in the fall. In his honor, we've cut you the opening credits of Welcome Back, JaMarcus.

If this is really Pryor's car—and it sure as hell looks that way—we have ourselves a new nadir of the Buckeye scandal. That it happened at Buckeye Donuts makes it all the more Jamarcus Russell-y. At least Russell had first-round money.

Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old.

Your morning roundup for March 4, the day Northwestern students remain engaged in the idea of human sexuality.

He fled the Oakland Raiders, got grand-jury clearance on felony "purple drank" havin' charges and has "John Lucas Basketball Resources" doing some PR. Aw yeah, JaMarcus Russell is back in tha game, yo!

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: ex-Raider and substance abuser JaMarcus Russell.

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

Russell was nabbed at his Mobile, Ala. home this afternoon after an undercover operation. The controlled substance: cough syrup with codeine. Get Outside The Lines on the case! [Press-Register]

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 300-some pounds JaMarcus Russell was said to be carrying, and which the newly released quarterback will now be carrying out of Oakland.

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day

Vince Verhei draws an intriguing comparison. JaMarcus Russell, 2008-09: 198-for-368, 2,423 yards, 13 TDs. Mark Sanchez, 2009-10: 196-for-364, 2,444 yards, 12 TDs. The difference? Sanchez threw more picks. And only six people thought to mention Russell's "poise." Six.

Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]