Somebody got laid last night.

Outspoken free agent tight end Jeremy Shockey, apparently having just read this ESPN piece on the late Junior Seau, pondered his own life (and predicted an early death) while blaming NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in a Twitter rant unleashed late Sunday night.

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: After claiming Shockey was the Bountygate snitch, Sapp wants to clear some things up.

Jeremy Shockey is going to great lengths to prove that he's not the snitch who notified the NFL of the Saints' bounty program, including texting Sean Payton, and posting that conversation for everyone to see.

Self-proclaimed life coach Jeremy Shockey was fingered today by NFL Network's Warren Sapp as the "snitch" who helped expose the New Orleans Saints' bounty program that led to coach Sean Payton's subsequent one-year suspension. Now, in keeping with the NFL's arcane sense of antiquated machismo, that's a bad thing. You…

Noted Twitter presence and NFL Network analyst Warren Sapp (@QBKILLA) tweeted earlier that he knows who snitched on the Saints defense's bounty program.

Lots of words might come to mind when you think of Jeremy Shockey: thug, crybaby, and even choker. But lifesaver, trachea-clearer—those are new for Shockey.

Portable toilet passing drills seem to be all the rage, with the Chiefs and Saints both taking advantage of, um, doors that close, to cut down on reaction time. Things went horribly wrong when linemen simultaneously used the johns as tackling dummies. [via RandBall]

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

I.e., on Facebook and Twitter. Shockey is holding a contest for women (he emphasizes the "female" part) to submit a video explaining why he should take them out on a date. This won't end well. [via Chicks In The Huddle]

David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)

The Saints and Texans, bitter rivals from centuries past, got into a little intersquad donnybrook yesterday and America's second-most beloved tight-end was somewhere in the middle of it. Shocking, right? (Get it? 'Cause that's his name.)

It's been a little more than two weeks since Saints' tight end Jeremy Shockey's alcohol-assisted dehydration issues resulted in him getting carted away by paramedics from Rehab, the notorious Vegas day-after-hangover hangout. He's finally talking about it.

New Orleans Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey was taken from the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas to the hospital Sunday after reportedly becoming dehydrated by the pool during a party, TMZ first reported. ESPN reports that he has been discharged and is "in good shape" now. [TMZ, ESPN, Times-Picayune]

It's clear that Jeremy Shockey appreciates the New York Giants' most enthusiastic, buoyant fan, Sondra Fortunato. Meadowlands security personnel, however, do not, as Sondra was ejected on Sunday while dressed as a Santa.

Country singer Kenny Chesney, who sometimes seems to make a living as a singer so he can participate in football events, practiced with the New Orleans Saints yesterday. Chesney's appearance was not announced to the crowd watching practice, but Chesney ran routes, fielded punts, and did his best to relieve his high…

This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis Q, has been traded…

Of all the Giants fans who were shocked by the team's ascension to the Super Bowl, perhaps none of them were more taken aback than Roger Director, author of I Dream In Blue, an account of his year following the Giants around ... LAST year. Here, he muses on the loss of his favorite player, Jeremy Shockey, and how he…

This is the time of year when everyone starts freaking out about their New Years Eve plans. If you're one of those hot ladies we keep hearing so much about, Jeremy Shockey has a potential party plan for you.

As we might have mentioned, the New York Giants are playing the Miami Dolphins in London on Sunday. There. You now have a tiny reason to care about that game. Roger Director, author of I Dream In Blue, has a few more than that. He riffs for us here about Jeremy Shockey, London and what it means to see the NFL on the…