jerryjones Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tony Romo Gets All The Money
NFL.com reports that the Cowboys have locked up Tony Romo as their quarterback for the foreseeable future, signing him to a six-year deal worth $108 million. We all know NFL contracts are dirty lies, and the only thing that matters is guaranteed money. Romo gets $55 million guaranteed. Holy balls....
Meet The Cowboys' New $2 Million Luxury Bus, Named "The Elegant Lady"
Jerry Jones's wet dream of crystal and chrome has hit the road. "The Elegant Lady," the Dallas Cowboys' new bus, made a brief appearance at the Super Bowl, but it's officially being unveiled ahead of the NFL combine. Forty-five feet long, 8'6" wide, and 13 feet tall, the coach will shuttle Cowboys b...
On Further Review, Roger Goodell Fucked Up This NFL Season From End To End
Cowboys-Redskins was the biggest matchup of the year, a win-or-go-home game for two division rivals. It turned out to be the most-watched regular-season sporting event in 15 years. But one familiar face was missing from the FedEx Field suites: commissioner Roger Goodell, who found something else to ...
Cowboys Brass Had No Idea Josh Brent Would Be On The Sidelines
Josh Brent was drunk when he flipped his car, killing teammate and friend Jerry Brown. So it created a little mental dissonance to see him on the sidelines at Cowboys Stadium just a week later, cheering on Dallas during their win over Pittsburgh. Now it comes out that owner Jerry Jones and head coac...
Back In 1995, <em>The Simpsons</em> Visited <em>The NFL On Fox</em>, And Homer Took A Shot At Jerry Jones
This only came to my attention yesterday, and—as I'm a Simpsons fan and something of a sports enthusiast—I figured that if I hadn't seen it, most people likely hadn't. In 1995, the Simpsons did what has to be the best promo for the NFL on Fox—for any pre-game show—ever. It's not quite vintage, unt...
Jerry Jones Scratching His Nuts: Eagles-Cowboys, And Much Of Modern Culture, In One GIF
Dallas 38, Philadelphia 33: Peering down from the suite at the top of his shiny monument to excess, billionaire oil plutocrat Jerry Jones, insensitive to the fact that he might be on national television at that very moment, scratched his nuts, probably, or adjusted himself in some way. Awesome. Imp...
White House Petition Will Probably Not Lead To The Removal Of Jerry Jones
Here's an unbylined story on the Dallas Morning News's website, about one of those stupid petitions on Whitehouse.gov. This one calls for President Obama to remove Jerry Jones as owner of the Cowboys....
Jerry Jones Spoke To Reporters In Front Of A Big Naked Cowboy Ass
Jerry Jones likes to do his media scrum in the middle of the Cowboys' locker room—That's why he was so furious last week when he was locked out. But things went better yesterday, both on the field (a 38-23 win in Philadelphia) and with the press. Except for that little matter of an unidentified pl...
Jerry Jones Was Locked Out Of The Cowboys' Locker Room
The Cowboys lost last night, but that's not good enough to sate the bloodlust of fans who want them to lose spectacularly, or painfully, because Dallas used to be good 15 years ago. Tony Romo didn't cooperate, failing to turn the ball over even once, let alone at a crucial moment late in the game. L...
The Dallas Cowboys Sent Out A Mailer To Season-Ticket Holders Instructing Them On How To Cheer
Jerry Jones built the $1,300,000,000 Cowboys Stadium in 2009 expecting it to house champions, boost his team, and become the eighth wonder of the world. It is kind of the last one—largest domed stadium in the world, with the fourth largest HD video screen in the world hanging from the ceiling—but th...
The Jerry Dome Is Infested With Gigantic Roaches
Sure, Cowboys Stadium may be a billion-dollar shrine to fossil fuels football, but even with the new Victoria's Secret store it seems they have a bit of a problem with pest control. EWWW. ...
Weekend Read: D Magazine on Young Tony Romo
Tony Romo, who is 32 and in his prime as an NFL quarterback, comes from an altogether different era. That's all I can draw from the current issue of D Magazine, in which Peter Simek drills down into a single high-school game to explain Romo's ascent from small-town jock-of-all-trades to a guy with t...
Jerry Jones, Job Creator, Has An Assistant Whose Job Is To Clean Jerry's Glasses
NBC provided a shot of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in his luxury box during last night's Dallas-Giants season opener, and eagle-eyed fans would notice a young man in a dangerously-unbuttoned shirt accepting Jones's glasses, polishing them, then handing them back....
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Jerry Jones Grounds Dez Bryant
Dez Bryant can't go to strip clubs anymore and has to be driven to practice and games by some omnipresent security force. He also has a midnight curfew, unless he tells the Cowboys that he will not be abiding the midnight curfew. With advance notice, of course....
Jerry Jones Isn't Worried About Replacement Refs, Because There's Still Instant Replay
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ol' Jer hasn't noticed a difference between the new and old refs anyway....
Woman Who Sat For A While On A Hot Bench Outside Cowboys Stadium Now Suing Jerry Jones
How long were you on this planet before you realized that hot things hurt, and you shouldn't touch them? A few months? A year or two, tops? So when you see a black marble bench, baking in a summer Texas sun on a 101-degree day, maybe you think, hey, it's probably hot, I shouldn't sit there. And even...
Jerry Jones: "I Want Me Some Glory Hole"
Hoo fucking boy, this is wonderful. Jerry Jones, while discussing the sense of urgency and pressure of being a Dallas Cowboy, mentioned how he yearns for the glory holes of yesteryear. He's been around 23 years and seen a lot—a lot—and the past few years have left a bad taste in his mouth. Time to ...
It's Good That The NFL Is Punishing Washington And Dallas For Breaking No Rules
I'm glad, gosh darn it, that NFL owners voted 29-0 to enforce salary cap penalties against the Redskins and Cowboys for spending a lot of money in the uncapped 2010 season. It's a good thing that the league is coming down hard, $36 million for DC and $10 million for Dallas, on two of the most powerf...
In The Name Of Competitive Balance, The NFL Plays The Bully And The Tyrant
The NFL is a dictatorship masquerading as a benevolent dictatorship. In redistributing $46 million in salary cap space from the Redskins and Cowboys to the rest of the league, the NFL is enforcing laws that don't exist, playing Robin Hood with blackmail, and generally continuing a tradition of arbit...