jesus Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Terrible Flyers Reporter: Can We Just Get Back to Hockey?
That’s some Broad Street Bullshit....
I Don't Care What All The Haters Are Going To Say: Tom Brady Is God And I'm In Mourning
I’m staring at a bottle of tequila....
Manchester City Defeat Liverpool On Penalties To Win Community Shield
Manchester City have won back-to-back FA Community Shield trophies for the first time in club history after defeating Liverpool 5-4 on penalties. Brazilian youngster Gabriel Jesus was the hero for Manchester City, scoring the winning penalty after Claudio Bravo came up big to save Giorgino Wijnadlum...
A Brief History Of Viral Gymnastics Routines
This weekend, the internet, once again, discovered that college gymnastics exists when UCLA senior Katelyn Ohashi’s floor routine went viral....
The Brewers Hate Manny Machado's Guts
Spicy times in the wee hours! A lengthy and bizarre Game 4 ended in the 13th with, of course, a Manny Machado slide. That’s not the close call the Brewers are thinking about, though....
The Brewers Have Played This All Perfectly
There is no one way to build a really good baseball team. Historically, the innovative Just Spend As Much Money As Needed On The Best Players Available model has a pretty solid track record, but even longtime adherents of that approach have recently backed away from it due to ... well, we can probab...
CC Sabathia Plunks Batter, Costs Himself $500K, Tells Rays Dugout "That's For You...Bitch"
This afternoon’s Yankees-Rays game in Tampa got out of hand early—it’s 11-1 right now—but the beef never sleeps. In the fifth, CC Sabathia hit Jake Bauers in the wrist. In the sixth, Andrew Kittredge threw up and behind Austin Romine, who exchanged words with catcher Jesus Sucre....
Excellent Baseball Man Decorates Hat With Live Bird
Yesterday Jesus Cruz of the Peoria Chiefs was strolling to the dugout after a successful start when he was met—attacked?—by a small bird. Unflustered, Cruz made the most of the moment, by capturing the little fellow and turning him into a brief but bold fashion statement:...
Former BBWAA President Writes Eulogy For Cardinal Who Covered Up Child Rape
Former Catholic cardinal Bernard Law died Tuesday in Rome, just over 15 years after resigning from his role as head of the Boston archdiocese after the Boston Globe’s investigative team revealed that dozens of priests in the Boston archdiocese had been serially sexually abusing hundreds of boys unde...
I Guess This Is What Counts As A Gameday Sign Now
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Jesús Aguilar Sure Does Wear Big Pants
At 6'3" and 250 pounds, Brewers first baseman Jesús Aguilar is a pretty big guy. As a direct result of this, just as you might suspect, he wears some pretty big pants. Here he is, wearing said big pants: ...
Even Crutches Can't Stop Gabriel Jesus From Getting Jiggy To Song About Himself
Gabriel Jesus is the best young striker Brazil has produced in a startlingly long time. Obviously, this makes him a big deal back home. Brazilian funk artist MC Nego Blue was so impressed by Jesus’s talents that he penned an entire song, “É Gol” (translation: “It’s a Goal”), about the Manchester Cit...
Manchester City Supporters Praise Jesus After Stoppage-Time Goal
Manchester City pulled out a win over Swansea City after Jesus showed no mercy to keeper Łukasz Fabiański and knocked in a rebound in the 92nd minute to give the home supporters a 2-1 win to go crazy about....
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
OK, so you’ve already learned about all the things we shoved inside ourselves last year. But what about our dangly bits? Rest assured, we punished them....
Georgia Pastor Delivers Sermon On Nick Chubb
Last season, after reeling off seven-straight 100-yard games, Nick Chubb tore everything except his ACL on his first carry against Tennessee, killing his season and sending all Georgia believers into hiding. Now, like the Good Lord, Chubb has returned, and one Atlanta pastor knows just how to pass o...
Blue Jays Assistant Offers The Hottest Advanced Stats Take Of All
Are you seated? Are you prepared to hear the rawest, truest sabermetrics take of all time from Blue Jays scout Steve Springer?...
Ronaldo's Performance During Euro Final Was Like Christ's Victory Over Sin And Death, Says His Sister
Cristiano Ronaldo didn’t turn water into wine or rise from the dead or even play the vast majority of the Euro 2016 final Portugal won last weekend. But he did hurt his knee and cry, which was apparently enough for his sister to compare him to Christ on the cross....
How To Kick Ass During Your Jesus Year
Certain ages have established talking points. At 25, there’s the quarter-life crisis, which is false, but gets you thinking about the banal inexorability of aging. At 27, you talk about rock stars who died before they could get old and embarrassing, because you desperately don’t want to, either. (“G...
D'Angelo Russell On Criticism Of His Rough Rookie Season: "Jesus Still Gets Criticized"
D’Angelo Russell’s rookie season isn’t going so well. He’s only shooting 41%, and his coach seems determined to stunt Russell’s career however he can. So what does he think about the criticism he’s drawn?...
Coming Soon To Seattle-Area High School Football: Satanic Invocations (UPDATE)
The legal position on prayer in public school in America is, generally, settled. Across decades of cases, the Supreme Court has held that religion may not be included in school-sponsored activities, but that students may independently gather for religious purposes. But a high school football coach i...