jesus Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Are These Symbols On The Mound At Busch Stadium?
The (St. Louis) Riverfront Times writes today about a pair of symbols scrawled into the mound at Busch Stadium, with a handful of pictures taken of a TV serving as evidence. We investigated, and, sure enough, they have definitely been there for at least a month. But what are they? (Hint: It's obviou...
Hey, Here's A Dildo That Is Also A Ceramic Jesus Figurine
How do you feel about the ceramic Jesus figurine pictured above? It's pretty nice, right? If you saw that figurine at a flea market, you would probably consider buying it for your religious grandmother. It would look great on her nightstand! You would just need to make sure that she never, ever turn...
What Becomes a Legend Most?
I've got a friend who doesn't watch the NBA much but has caught the first three games of the Finals and proclaims that LeBron James isn't as great as everyone says. Never mind that mind-numbing argument, here's a vintage Bill Simmons Page 2 column on what it was like growing up watching Larry Bird:...
NBA Draft Lottery: Dan Gilbert's Son Is A Punk Teenager, Touched By God
Did you see that motherfucking kid? He knew he was getting first pick. Knew it....
Dear Internet: You Are Not Doing The Harlem Shake
One thing we can always count on to make the internet a slightly more horrible place is viral dance videos. It's a remarkably dependable feature of the web. For the past few weeks that viral dance video has been the "Harlem Shake," in which a single person does a dance move that is not the actual "...
Your Imaginary Boyfriend: Jesus Christ
Welcome back to Your Imaginary Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Jezebel's series in which we explore the wild and entirely fabricated world of dating a famous person. As is the risk with most fan fiction, things might get weird and things might get creepy, but the important thing is that we all have a good tim...
The Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
(The 2013 edition can be found here.)...
Until A Few Minutes Ago, Duke's Official Site Featured A Women's Lacrosse Player Wearing Blackface
The picture you see above is a screenshot from an article on GoDuke.com, the official site for Duke University athletics. In the photo are members of the women's lacrosse team, dressed up like the Little Rascals for Halloween. And wouldn't you know it, the one who dressed up as Buckwheat decided to...
Beer And Game Pairing: Hell Or High Watermelon With Bowling Green At Florida
Fruit and beer have an uneasy relationship, much like Gators fans and Florida sucking. Yet here we are, in 2012, and just as I'm watching this unsteady SEC power flail against some team called Bowling Green, I'm also enjoying the seasonal release Hell or High Watermelon by the San Francisco brewery ...
Sure, God Made The Universe. But Can He Coach An American Marathoner To Olympic Gold?
March 29 was a busy day for Ryan Hall, the fastest American marathoner ever. He was 137 days and roughly 2,100 miles of road training away from representing the country in the London Olympics. He had to be up early for drug testing....
Phil Mushnick Wrote Something Racist In The <em>New York Post</em>
Here's OG troll Phil Mushnick in today's New York Post, shaking his cane at the scary negroes:...
That "White Michael Vick" Issue Of <em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Is Up For An Award
Remember this edition of ESPN The Periodical? It's been nominated for a National Magazine Award in the "single-topic issue" category. As you know, the issue touched on of the one of the great faultlines in our culture today: bad Photoshop. [ASME]...
Tripping Basketballs: Hoopsters Are Alive And Well At The Ultra Music Festival
While we declared the end to the Hoopster trend a year and a half ago, the Hoopsters show no signs of quitting—certainly not at this past weekend's Ultra music fest in Miami. For the uninitiated, Ultra is the social event for college kids who love Ecstasy and sort of like electronic music. Here are...
For Clobbering Blake Griffin, Basketball Thug Jason Smith Gets A Light Slap On The Wrist
What's the NBA penalty for deliberately knocking down a star player when he's defenseless, trying to provoke a brawl with his teammates, and then waving your arms to gloat and incite the home crowd after being ejected? Two games. File this one away for the next time David Stern gets mad about the dr...
What Impoverished High-School Football Players Teach Us About The Virtues Of Capitalism: Nothing, Unless You Are A Lunatic Who Writes For <em>Forbes</em>
So I attended a Preview Screening, for free, of the Academy Oscar® Award-winning Documentary-movie Undefeated, in my capacity as a "Film Critic." Later, and not in the theater, because that's rude, while I was Internetting for fact-checking information in re the 2009 Manassas Tigers High School foot...
Go Away Now, Pat Knight, You Loser, Bully, And Pathetic Rage-Case
Who are you going to yell at today, Pat Knight? Who is going to get humiliated in public now that your Lamar basketball team got destroyed in the NCAA play-in game last night?...
Should You Be Scared Of The Yankees In 2012?
Yes! Yes, you should be scared of the Yankees in 2012. Terrified, probably. Because a pair of big moves made their biggest problem—35-year-old A.J. Burnett, who is owed $33 million over the next two years—essentially disappear. No more hanging knucklecurves in big games, no more walks, no more hits,...
Gather 'Round, Grove, Draper and Ronjohn: The Lacrosse All-Name Team Is Here
What makes a great lacrosse name? There must be a whiff of old money and non-rhotic lockjaw, but it's more than that. In the spirit of Potter Stewart's test for obscenity ("I know it when I see it") and Katie Baker's beloved lacrosse family the Stanwicks (Sheehan, Wick, Coco, Tad, Steele, Wells and ...
David DeJesus Is A Cub, More News About Royals Relievers, And Other Rumblings From the Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...
Caroline Wozniacki And Rory McIlroy Obnoxiously Remind Us That They Are Nos. 1 And 2 In The World
We should only be so cynical about young love, but young love should only give itself so many insufferable personalized nicknames and offer so many reminders that the young people in question—the Wozz in "Wozzilroy" is 21 years old and the Ilroy is 22—hold the best and second-best world rankings in ...