jobs Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donald Trump's Jobs Plan: Folks, Is It Hot In Here, Or What?
Donald Trump, presidential candidate of the moon, has a plan to put Americans back to work. A simple plan. He explained it all very simply yesterday....
Don't Update Your Fucking iPhone!
Yesterday, Apple released its latest major software update with iOS 10. As far as I can tell, the iteration exists only to cut my battery life in half, make my Messages app unusable, and trick me into downloading hundreds of cartoon Biebers and one George R. R. Martin. Reader, don’t be like me. Don’...
Steve Jobs Loved The Headphone Jack
At approximately 1:00 p.m. today, in the year of our Lord 2016, Tim Cook defiled the memory of the late Steven “Steve” Paul Jobs with an abomination built of space-gray hubris. Today, Tim Cook discarded the iPhone headphone jack. And with that headphone jack, the soul of its creator went, too. ...
Don't Get Mad. Join A Union.
Shit is fucked up and bullshit. Economic inequality is high and wages are low and people are mad. Want to do something about it? Don’t vote for Donald Trump. Join a union....
Navigating Your Way Through Bullshit Corporate Lingo
George Orwell made a living off of incredulity. Armed with a healthy distrust of capitalism and intense misgivings about the surveillance state, Orwell’s writings often presaged a bleak outlook for mankind. (His fucking head would explode if he could see what companies—i.e. Google and Facebook—and g...
Study: Millennials Shouldn't Worry About Peaking Early
If the headline writers at the Harvard Business Review are hip to the concept of trolling, I’d think that was exactly what they were doing with a recent piece on “generational issues” that claims, “The Problem with Millennials? They’re Way Too Hard on Themselves.”...
Terrible Careers My Dad Recommended
What should I be when I grow up?...
Hawaii Needs You, Teachers
If you’re a job-hunter with teaching experience and a willingness to overlook a terrible economic proposition for the chance to live year-round in one of our most popular vacation destinations, Hawaii has the perfect opportunity for you....
How To Start Your Own Business
Probably the first and most persistent question I had when my partner and I started our own company was, “When does the company actually start?” Babies have due dates, and it turns out that companies (thanks, Scalia!) are people. So on what date would our company be considered born? ...
I'm Not Broke Anymore, And I'm Terrified
“I’m sorry, can you say that one more time?” That was my response to the recruiter who’d just revealed my new job’s salary. She repeated the offer, and though I wanted to shout my assent from the top of my lungs, I was in the middle of an empty coffee shop, plus I didn’t want to scare her off. Besid...
College Basketball Team Loses After Being Assessed Technical Foul For Celebrating Game-Winner
A desperation three-pointer by Sioux Falls’s Taylor Varsho gave the Cougars a 59-58 win over Division II rival Winona State—a team that had previously beaten them by 39 points—until officials assessed Sioux Falls a technical foul for celebrating the buzzer-beater that, replay showed, left less than ...
NASA Is Recruiting New Astronauts, But Don't Even Think About It
Guess what? NASA is recruiting a class of new astronauts, and anybody can apply starting in December. Sorry to dash any of your remaining childhood dreams, but it won’t be any of you. ...
Another Patriots Super Bowl Win Would Be The Worst Thing Ever
Your letters:...
Danny Boyle Movies, Ranked
Danny Boyle is one of the most quietly adventurous filmmakers working today. He’ll do a science-fiction movie, then a period piece, then a Tarantino-type thriller, then a romantic comedy, then a conventional biopic, and he won’t so much as blink once. He is an auteur of the old-fashioned sort: His m...
<i>Steve Jobs</i> May Be About The Apple Guru, But Aaron Sorkin Is The Real Star
The trick to enjoying an Aaron Sorkin project is to never take it as seriously as he does. The creator of The West Wing and The Newsroom and the Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Social Network doesn’t write dialogue—he stages showy talk-fests that are meant to either show off how smart his characte...
How To Charm Everyone At Your New Job
Congratulations on your new place of employment! Next up: making a good first impression. You only have one shot, so show up on time, remember everyone’s names, and just be yourself, but not too yourself, if you get what we’re saying. Look, just don’t screw it up. This video should help. ...
This Guy Is A Big Roman Reigns Fan
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Looking For A Job? Apply To Be The NFL's New Director Of Investigations!
Want to aid the NFL in its quest to rid itself of the scourge that is player misconduct? Ever find yourself shaking your head at the bone-headed mistakes that ruin one of their innumerable faulty investigations? Think you can do better? Then by all means, apply here for the league’s newest position,...
Jim "Learn The Fucking Rules" Schwartz To Work With NFL Officiating
Who wants Jim Schwartz? The NFL officiating department, apparently....
How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...