joe Page 145 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Los Angeles Dodgers: Back To The Future
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Los Angeles Dodgers....
Thankfully, The Vomiting Biathlete Was Totally Live
NBC finally captures the glory of live sports as Norwegian biathlete Ole Einar Bjoerndalen fails to medal, but leaves it all on the course. Including his lunch. (Incident completely unacknowledged by the announcers, of course.) [Video via NBC]...
Joe Paterno's New Eyewear: Eyes
The 83-year-old Penn State coach had eye surgery which helps him "read his watch" and "not have to wear glasses" anymore but he should, because without them, he looks old and scary. [FightOnState]...
Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....
Last Night's Winner: Minnesotans
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Twins fans who locked up their franchise catcher for the next decade. It's not official, but what could possibly go wrong in the final seconds?...
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...
It Appears Everyone Can Now Make Half-Court Shots At Olathe Northwest's Gym
Okay — this is officially insane. FOX4 went back to do a follow-up story about Joel Branstrom's blind-folded half-court shot. Reporter Rob Low, just shooting a teaser for the spot, tried one of his own (backwards)...and also made it....
Wings Fans Do Their Little Turn On The Catwalk, Get Arrested
The good thing about hockey arenas, as opposed to baseball or football stadiums, is that there really are no nosebleed seats. Three Red Wings fans challenged that notion by climbing onto the catwalks during last night's game....
Stories That Don't Suck: Joe Willie, Drug Hysteria, Blago Agonistes, And I'm With CarCar
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
South Florida Player No Longer Lying About Jim Leavitt's Lies
USF's Joel Miller says he and former coach Jim Leavitt met in a church parking lot in order to get their stories straight to investigators about how Leavitt didn't slap him (even though he totally did.) [Fanhouse]...
Defense Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NFL defensive units who shut down their opponents and made all the difference in first-round playoff wins. When they bothered to show up....
Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times. Jesus.
Lange's mother found him Saturday at his Hoboken apartment. He had six hesitation wounds, according to the New York Post, and three "deep plunges." Doctors managed to save him despite heavy bleeding. [NYP]...
Who Knew Greg Oden's Magical Exploding Kneecap Was Contagious?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Joe McKnight's Car Daddy Is Not Making A Lot Of Sense
The LA Times reported this weekend that USC back Joe McKnight has been spotted tooling around campus in a car that does not belong to him. It’s okay, though, because the real owner has a totally batshit explanation for that....
South Florida Player Speaks, Takes Coach's Side
Joel Miller, the USF walk on who coach Jim Leavitt is accused of striking, has finally given his own take on the story. He's defending Leavitt—just like his brother said he had no other choice but to do....
South Florida Player's Brother: "Jim Leavitt Is Not A Very Nice Man"
The South Florida Slapping Saga has taken another confusing family turn as the brother of the walk-on allegedly hit by coach Jim Leavitt has stepped into the fray to defend his sibling and confirm what his father hastily denied yesterday....
<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Still Not Dead
Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy returns for its third edition next week, and this time he's actually booked a few black people....
New York Sports Synergy Becoming Unbearable
First Patrick Ewing wants to coach the Nets. Then Joe Girardi gives sliding lessons to Mark Sanchez. All we need is Mike Piazza sharing style tips with Sean Avery, and the circle will be complete. [NY Post / AP]...
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...
Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com]...