joe Page 146 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Girardi Helps Car Crash Victim On Way From Game 6
Driving home from Yankee Stadium last night, drunk with power (and champagne!), Girardi stopped to help an accident victim, even though each World Series winner is specifically granted the right to run over one pedestrian, no questions asked. [LoHud/Slanch]...

DENTAL PLAN! (Girardi Needs Braces!)
Take a close look at Joe Girardi's mouth. Why would a grown man wear braces, specifically during the one month of his life when he's most likely to be on national TV? A pretty sweet reason, actually....

NBA Locker Rooms Terrorized By Giant Rubber Balls
The Sacramento Kings have sent an urgent directive to all NBA teams warning them to be on the lookout for the large exercise ball that brutally attacked and maimed forward Francisco Garcia. It is considered round, squishy and extremely dangerous....

Does This Look Foul To You?
Good thing that Major League Baseball adds two extra umpires to cover those close plays down the line in the playoffs. That way no one will have any grounds to complain that a bad call completely ruined their season....

Posnanski Responds To Bissinger Diss Track
You'll recall that W.C. "Buzz" Bissingheinz called out Joe Posnanski in yesterday's chat equivalent of an old guy wearing his hat backward. Posnanski replies: "I have never had a feud before. Could this be the start of something new?" [JoePosnanski.com]...

Minnesota Takes Characteristically Polite Umbrage At Sign-Stealing Allegations
You saw the video this morning. The Twins have responded with amusement and gentle outrage at any suggestion that Joe Mauer might've been relaying signs from second base like some Navy signalman on the flight deck of the Nimitz....

Think There's No Cheating In Baseball?
Here's Joe Mauer, in Tuesday night's game, blatantly tipping pitches from second base. Trust me when I say there's nothing extraordinary about this sort of thing. [Via Total Pro Sports]...

September: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from September, ranked low to high....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>The Machine</em>
Today, we have a selection from Deadspin favorite Joe Posnanski's The Machine, a rollicking account of the 1975 Reds. Buy the book here. Read his blog here. Joe's in the comments now, awaiting your demeaning questions....

The Relatively Short Goodbye Part II
Goodbye, cruel internet. Again....

Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...

Adrian Peterwho?
Sure, we don't know our football all that well. But that's actually part of the reason we feel pretty justified calling bullshit on Tom Curran's list of "Five Players Ready to Become NFL Superstars."...

The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....

"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: La Scala Opera House (Teatro alla Scala; Milan, Italy)
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: La Scala Opera House....

Remember This Guy Is In The Hall Of Fame
What would an FJM reunion be without the mocking of an ancient, stat-hating, online weblog writer who insists that his online weblog is not a blog?...

Sir, You Did Not Read The Memo Carefully
(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)...

Jesus Is The Derek Jeter Of Christianity
He's good at what he does (for Jeter, it's baseball; for Jesus, it's healing the sick or whatever). People love him. He says and does the right things at all the right times....

Food Metaphor Of The Year
"In the Boston cookbook, most of its tasty concoctions based on defensive ingredients, Kessel is viewed as that little sprig of parsley that makes the plate look better but really doesn't factor into whether the meal is a true success."...
