joe Page 151 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Unfortunately, Tim McCarver Will Not Go To Prison Because Of This
Weird little story about a moonlighting Fox Sports "stat guy" who illegally used USMS transportation to shuttle around Buck, McCarver and Aikman. [Smoking Gun]...

Pay No Attention To The Berman In The Background
Two top seeds slept for an extra week in their comfy, comfy beds and then promptly got bounced from their Super Bowl dream machine yesterday. How do you feel today Steelers and Giants fans?...

Who Dares To Tamper In Joe Flacco's Unibrow Domain?
The Baltimore Ravens' Joe Flacco-led run through the AFC playoffs is just one more example of a famous unibrow influencing world events. [East Coast Bias]...

Who is The Fiend Who Stole JoePa's Glasses?
APB, State College, Pa., Police Department: All units be on the lookout for anyone wearing pair of thick, bronze glasses. Suspect may also be wearing a USC sweatshirt....

Joel Przybilla's Extended Family Is Not Cool With David Stern's Stupid Fines
Portland Trailblazer Joel Przybilla was fined $7,500 for this altercation with Tyson Chandler last week. For comment on this momentous national story, the media naturally turned to the 83-year-old grandmother of Przybilla's wife....

49ers Bid A High-Pitched, Frenetic Adieu To Joe Starkey
Joe Starkey is retiring as play-by-play voice of the 49ers. Don't recognize the name? He's the broadcaster who always sounds like his testicles are wired to a car battery, as this legendary clip demonstrates....

Also, Both Are Mostly Seen in Parades Now and Seem Far Less Animated
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Investment Firm For Sale: Cheap.
HRJ Capital, an investment firm started by former 49ers Joe Montana, Ronnie Lott and Harris Barton (Montana left in 2006), may be taken over by Silicon Valley Bank, to which it owes $69 million. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

Joe Horn Only Pawn In Game Of Life
As reported yesterday, the Giants brought Joe Horn in for a workout, acting as if they might actually sign the 36-year-old receiver for the stretch run, but Joe Horn says ... he was used....

Joe Montana's Offspring Will Pummel You, Take Your Lunch Money
Just because Oaks Christian High in Los Angeles never played a decently talented opponent this season is no reason to think that Nick Montana doesn't have a future as a quarterback. Or maybe it is....

Giants Honk The Horn?
The silver lining in the Plaxico Burress saga? Joe Horn is (maybe) back, baby! [NJ Star-Ledger]...

Joe Paterno Continues To Age In Reverse
JoePa gets three-year contract extension from Penn State. Grim Reaper throws down scythe in disgust; Nittany Lion pours himself another cocktail. [NBCSports]...

Famous Oaks Christian Progeny Go For Title Tomorrow
Big game on Friday night in Westlake Village near Los Angeles, as Oaks Christian High (13-0) takes on visiting Gardena Serra (13-0) in the Northwest Division championship game....

The Man Who Would Kill The BCS
Meet U.S. Representative Joe Barton; global warming skeptic, enthusiastic Civilization IV player, ranking Republican on the Energy and Commerce Committee — BCS hater....

Joe Sakic Out Three Months
And I guess those are Joe Sakic's fingers in the snow blower? [Sports Crackle Pop]...

Prep Football Star Shoots Himself During Traffic Stop
Billey Joe Johnson, a 17-year-old high school running back from Mississippi, died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound during a routine traffic stop yesterday. The junior tailback from George County High School was one of the top-rated prospects in the country and reportedly had scholarship offers fro...

OK Baby Mangino; Prepare For The Terrible Retribution Of Baby JoePa
As Baby Mangino stomps through the SHOTY competition leaving terror and thousands of empty Gerber jars in his wake, many were beginning to doubt that anything could stop him. We were looking for a hero, and now, at the 11th hour, we may have found one. Indroducing Baby JoePa, who, like the original,...

Joe Paterno Isn't Going Anywhere, According To Joe Paterno
In front of a pep rally crowd of over 6,500 spectators, Joe Paterno announced that, despite rumors, he has no intentions of retiring, meaning he'll be staying on for 2009. An exciting announcement for sure, unless you're one of the Penn State boosters. Or the athletic director. Or anyone with any se...

This Photograph Just Makes Me Want to Shampoo Something
Here's Joe Namath in his glory days, with Farrah Fawcett on the arm, shag carpet on the chest, and a glint in his eye that tells the world, "You're mine, baby." Who else can pull of that type of confidence with just a simple glance? George Clooney? Obama? Baby Mangino? Not many. With Leather picked ...

Of Superbikes And Food Metaphors: FJM's Greatest Hits
A sports blog's success is usually measured by page views or unique visitors — these odd, mysterious numbers that merely serve as advertiser bait, but are woefully inaccurate in revealing overall quality. The true measure of a successful sports blog, like most other creative endeavors done for the r...