joe Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nostalgia Reaches Its Nadir
Oh, come on. Selective memory is a hell of a thing....
The Raptors' Defense Was Outrageous In The Clutch
The Sixers hit their last field goal in the half-court—a long, and-one leaner by J.J. Redick—with 3:29 remaining in Game 7. Then the Raptors put the clamps on. Philly would only even hit the rim one more time, off a heroic Jimmy Butler transition play. As stagnant and deferential as the Raptors have...
Ben Simmons Finally Showed Up
After four straight games of curious anonymity, Ben Simmons finally arrived—and just in time, as the Sixers desperately needed their Aussie weirdo to make like Joel Embiid’s ass and stop spewing diarrhea everywhere. Thanks to Simmons’s 21 points and bevy of rebounds and assists, Philadelphia lived t...
Joel Embiid Emerges From Fog Of Illness, Leads 76ers To Game 6 Win
Joel Embiid didn’t put up the hugest numbers in Thursday night’s Game 6, but if anything his pedestrian production underscores just how dominant Embiid can be when he’s not pooping out and coughing up various vital internal organs. Thursday night he was feeling good, and as a consequence the 76ers ...
Sharks Do Their Job, Get Some Help, And Eliminate The Avalanche In Game 7
It would have been very on-brand for the perennial choke-artist San Jose Sharks to blow it against the 8th seed in the second-round of what might be the most wide-open NHL playoffs of all-time. But to their credit, San Jose recovered from Gabriel Landeskog’s Game 6 overtime winner and got the win th...
An Ailing Joel Embiid Isn't All That Ails The 76ers
The 76ers were blown out in Game 5 Tuesday night, 125–89, by Kawhi Leonard and the Toronto Raptors. Nothing much worked for Philadelphia—the closest they came to a functional offense was Jimmy Butler willing his way to the line for 11 free throws. By the midpoint of the fourth quarter, the game had ...
Joel Embiid Has Diarrhea
In the spring of 2019, writer Giri Nathan asked an editor if he could write a blog about Joel Embiid in the style of writer Gay Talese’s “Frank Sinatra Has A Cold.” The Sixers player was irritable and dealing with various ailments as his team fought a tight playoff series against the Raptors. “Why t...
The Raptors Are Doing Whatever The Hell This Is Again
Well, shit....
The Shook And Possibly Fraudulent Raptors Are Unraveling
The Raptors are being completely outclassed by the 76ers in Game 3 of their second-round playoff series. Kawhi Leonard is the only Raptor who hasn’t played like a total basket-case; as a result, the vastly more determined and cohesive Sixers are cruising to victory. The pressure is starting to show ...
Sports Radio Caller Is Absolutely Furious That Dwayne Haskins Is Tarnishing Joe Theismann's Number
Former Ohio State QB and first-round pick Dwayne Haskins has a good chance at starting for the Skins this season, as all he has to do is beat out Colt McCoy and Case Keenum for the job. Haskins joins a team that has started 27 quarterbacks in 27 seasons since its last Super Bowl win, but he doesn’t ...
In Game With Gut-Sick Joel Embiid, Raptors Are The Ones To Shit Their Pants
Joel Embiid was listed as probable headed into Game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series between the 76ers and Raptors, with a case of gastroenteritis. It’s a stomach virus, and is experienced as a lot of stomach pain and diarrhea, which is definitely not the condition you want to be in whil...
Joe Biden Wants To Be The Donald Trump For White People Who Don't Like Donald Trump
Joe Biden’s campaign announcement video—he’s running for president, of course—begins with Charlottesville, Va. It’s a choice, and the construct it reflects is an interesting one. It says a lot....
The Golden Knights Are Furious Over How Their Season Was "Stolen"
Let’s get this out of the way right at the outset: Yes, the Vegas Golden Knights could have avoided all of this controversy—and their elimination—by simply not allowing allowing four goals in 4:01. One of the weirdest and wildest comebacks in recent memory, a Game 7 eventually won by the Sharks 5-4 ...
Sharks Avenge Joe Pavelski's Bleeding Head, Pull Off Wild Game 7 Comeback To Eliminate Vegas
The Vegas Golden Knights were cruising through the first 50 minutes of their Game 7 against the Sharks on Tuesday night, and then Joe Pavelski started bleeding on the ice. The Knights were up 3-0 and had completely sucked the life out of San Jose’s crowd, but with 10:47 remaining, a major cross-chec...
![Jared Dudley And Jimmy Butler Were Ejected After A Scrum They Started Got Out Of Hand [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uxqqt0eruasj2mlbuxr1.png)
Jared Dudley And Jimmy Butler Were Ejected After A Scrum They Started Got Out Of Hand [Updates]
What started out as some beef between Ben Simmons and Jared Dudley has now escalated into Jared Dudley trying to beef with the other stars of the 76ers roster. In the third quarter, Joel Embiid tried to get a block on Nets big man Jarrett Allen—a player Embiid elbowed in the face and then laughed ab...
Someone Farted Near The Sixers' Bench
With Joel Embiid not playing in Game 3 of Sixers-Nets because of an injury, it made sense for the TNT broadcast to take some time during a break in the action and talk about his absence. As Ros Gold-Onwude spoke about Embiid’s decision to sit out, and the camera panned towards him, someone near the ...
Is This The End For Joe Thornton And The Sharks As We Know Them?
The San Jose Sharks have been reduced in their time to being the NHL’s glorified version of the Portland Trail Blazers—almost always in the playoffs, always ultimately being on the business end of a handshake line. It’s almost a zen koan at this point; when unrequited love turns to “Call us when you...
Joel Embiid Couldn't Keep A Straight Face While Apologizing For His Elbow On Jarrett Allen
Joel Embiid got hit with a flagrant foul late in the first half of his Sixers’ eventual series-tying 145-123 win over the Nets on Monday night when he unleashed the full force of his elbow into Jarrett Allen’s neck while trying to beat him in the paint. Allen got up right away, but my goodness, that...
Ryan Reaves Wasn't Going To Let Joe Thornton Face A Suspension Without Getting In A Burn
The NHL’s Department of Player Safety has been busy in this young postseason. Tampa’s Nikita Kucherov was handed a one-game suspension for boarding, Toronto’s Nazem Kadri is probably going to get something like five games for this, and now it’s Joe Thornton’s turn for a hearing....
Uh-Oh, Joel Embiid's Knee Might Keep Him Out Of Game 1
A visibly frustrated Joel Embiid said he “has no idea” if he’ll play tomorrow in Game 1 of the Sixers’ first-round series versus the Nets, due to pain in his left knee. Seems bad:...