joe Page 86 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Do The Sacramento Kings Want To Be?
Let’s start with this: the Sacramento Kings will never not be the Sacramento Kings. There will never be a time when this is not both painfully accurate, and just painful:...
Don't Worry, The Sacramento Kings Are Still Dumb As Dogshit
The Sacramento Kings—the NBA’s most laughable franchise and, by ESPN’s estimation, the most miserable team in pro sports—finally had a good season. They didn’t make the playoffs, but they finished 39-43, a 12-win improvement over the previous season. De’Aaron Fox and Buddy Hield took big steps up, t...
Sharks' Joe Pavelski Takes One On The Chin For His Team To Score Opening Goal
Once the Stanley Cup playoffs start, the debate over whether the structural integrity of your face is more important than a goal no longer becomes a debate. There are only two options that players have: give up your face, or let your team down. Less than 15 minutes into Game 1 of the Sharks-Golden K...
Joey Votto Acts Exceedingly Polite To Pitcher Who Just Plunked Him
Joey Votto, who has shown in the past that he can be as rude or polite as he wants to be, chose to be courteous Tuesday night after getting thwacked in the side with a baseball. Why get angry when your team’s up 6-0, anyway?...
Rangers Teammates Celebrate Two-Run Dong By Grabbing Each Other's Dingers
It’d be safe to assume that Joey Gallo and Nomar Mazara are friends, as they’ve played on the Texas Rangers together for four seasons and love to mash taters, but as this post-homer celebration shows, they’re really good friends....
The Panthers Landed Joel Quenneville, So Now You Might Have To Care About Them
The Florida Panthers cut off what could have been a long and dramatic summer of negotiation and landed the most coveted coach on the market just a few days after their disappointing year came to an end. Three-time Stanley Cup winner Joel Quenneville, who was fired early in the season by the Blackhaw...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Proved Something To Joel Embiid
Everyone’s just waiting for the NBA playoffs to hurry up and start already, but last night’s game between the Sixers and Bucks promised to be the last regular-season contest worth checking in on. It did not disappoint....
Eric Bledsoe Ejected Less Than Three Minutes Into Bucks-Sixers After Chucking The Ball At Joel Embiid's Chest
One of the defining moments of Eric Bledsoe’s short career with the Bucks so far happened in the first round of last year’s playoffs when he allowed Celtics guard Terry Rozier to punk him in Games 1 and 2 of the series, pretended to not know who Rozier was, and then allowed himself to get punked aga...
It's Too Early To Say The Cubs Are In Trouble, But Not Too Early To Enjoy Their Fuck-Ups
The Cubs have not gotten off to the start anyone envisioned over the winter. They’re 1–3, having dropped a season-opening series to the Rangers, and having absorbed a deflating 8–0 loss to the Atlanta Braves Monday night. This is a vanishingly tiny sample size, and the Cubs were picked by various ex...
Joey Gallo Nearly Decapitates His Pitcher While Trying To Throw Out A Runner
I mean, yeah, nobody likes Joey Gallo for his defense. The Rangers outfielder is a man whose dingers are to be admired and whose mediocrity in the outfield is to be ignored if you want to fully enjoy him as a player. But somebody’s gotta play out in left for Texas, even if he represents a grave dang...
Read All The Snippy Emails The Ricketts Family Sent Each Other While Trying To Buy The Cubs
Earlier today we published a (very long) story that provided a detailed insider’s view of the Ricketts family’s 2009 purchase of the Chicago Cubs. Included in that story are a bunch of emails revealing that a significant amount of intra-family squabbling took place during the sale process. In the in...
The Inside Story Of How The Ricketts Family Schemed And Feuded Their Way To Owning The Chicago Cubs
On October 27, 2009, the Ricketts family officially purchased a 95 percent ownership stake in the Chicago Cubs from the Tribune Company, bringing an end to a long, arduous, and complex sale process. Now, thanks to a cache of emails and documents obtained by Deadspin, more details from that process c...
Request A Triple-Double From Joe Ingles And He Will Only Smirk At You
Joe Ingles performs nearly every NBA skill, up to and including heavily-accented shit-talk, at a high level. On a team as diffuse and decentralized as the Utah Jazz, the Aussie is a do-everything hub. The scoring rarely leaps out, but that isn’t the point....
I Can't Stop Looking At This Photo Of Marcus Smart Nonchalantly Shoving Joel Embiid
Joel Embiid stuck out an elbow and a foot, possibly maliciously and definitely in the sort of passive-aggressive way that players sometimes do this stuff to each other; Marcus Smart crashed into them, and then onto the floor; Smart got up and shoved Embiid onto the floor; and Getty’s Mitchell Leff s...
Joel Embiid Calls Himself "Best Defensive Player" And "Most Unstoppable Player" In NBA, Might Not Be Wrong
The 76ers came back from a 15-point second-half deficit to beat the visiting Celtics Wednesday night, behind a monstrous performance from the huge and unstoppable Joel Embiid. Embiid—whose conditioning, at the moment, is less than great—played more than 41 minutes, the second most he’s played in a g...
Marcus Smart Ejected From Celtics-76ers For Shoving Joel Embiid Quite A Long Way
Early in the third quarter of Wednesday night’s Celtics-76ers game, Marcus Smart was hit with a soft whistle for contesting a pass to Joel Embiid near the top of the key, with the Celtics up 11. On the reset, perhaps out of annoyance over Smart raising a stink about the foul, or perhaps sensing that...
Giannis And Embiid, Just A Couple Of Giant Space Monsters Smashing Everyone Else Into Hell
The Bucks played the 76ers yesterday, in Milwaukee. The game had an outcome; the outcome had no effect on the standings. I am here to call to your attention the two giant space monsters, Giannis Antetokounmpo and Joel Embiid, who combined for 92 points and 31 rebounds in the game and made everybody ...
Phil Mickelson And Joe Montana Swear They Did Not Partake In Any College Scamming When They Hired The College Scam Company<em></em>
The FBI recently busted a bunch of rich assholes who were trying to get their unsuspecting children into college the only way they knew how: by throwing money at the largely superficial roadblock life had put in front of them until it went away. At the center of this operation was an organization kn...
Wizards Descend On Minor-League Hockey Game To Cause Impossible Goal
The Manitoba Moose beat the Texas Stars 4-3 in AHL play on Wednesday night, but the Moose’s continued dominance on home ice is not the story here. The big news came midway through the second period, when the apparent existence of magic in our material world was revealed to us through a shot by Stars...
Tom Ricketts Blames His Dad's Islamophobic Emails On "The News Of The Day"
Cubs co-owner Tom Ricketts spoke to reporters today in an effort to once again distance the team from his father and fellow co-owner Joe Ricketts, whose racist email inbox was made public by Splinter earlier this month. Tom also offered a wan defense of his father, which somehow culminated in him bl...