joemorgan Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome, Strident Nerds!
We are the surviving members of a blog that used to exist called Fire Joe Morgan....
You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....
Help Your Friends At Fire Joe Morgan Make Fun Of Bad Sportswriting
Remember: Fire Joe Morgan returns to Deadspin on Sept. 22. If you come across any atrocious sportswriting in your daily reading—never doubt that someone, somewhere, is saying too nice things about David Eckstein—send a link to [email protected]....
All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...
David Ortiz Swears In Spanish During Home Run Derby, Announcers Hilariously Mistranslate
During his first round of derbying, David Ortiz took a break to wipe himself down and sip some of Rafael Soriano's Gatorade. Then he said "pussy" in Spanish, and Berman and Joe Morgan thought he meant something else. Let's break it down....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...
Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...
Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com]...
September: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from September, ranked low to high....
The Relatively Short Goodbye Part II
Goodbye, cruel internet. Again....
Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...
Adrian Peterwho?
Sure, we don't know our football all that well. But that's actually part of the reason we feel pretty justified calling bullshit on Tom Curran's list of "Five Players Ready to Become NFL Superstars."...
The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....
"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: La Scala Opera House (Teatro alla Scala; Milan, Italy)
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: La Scala Opera House....
Remember This Guy Is In The Hall Of Fame
What would an FJM reunion be without the mocking of an ancient, stat-hating, online weblog writer who insists that his online weblog is not a blog?...
Sir, You Did Not Read The Memo Carefully
(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)...