john Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Reed Johnson Does Not Believe In Goat Stories
Even though another goat was found hanging from the arm of Harry Caray, right fielder Reed Johnson still manages to make the ladies swoon with his wall-climbing abilities. [Total Sports]...

Don't Call It A Comeback...No Really, Don't
John Daly quit drinking (again) and got lapband surgery. All that you know is at an end. Did I mention he's at Augusta, selling his worldly possessions out of an RV? Of course he is....

Your Team Is A Fan Of Being On Probation
Please don't take any "What cast member of 'Saved By The Bell' is your 4-star basketball recruit?" quizzes on Facebook, unless you want your program to get slapped with an NCAA violation for being dumb....

Nothing Says Quality Like John Daly Merchandise Purchased From A Bus
John Daly may not be allowed to play in The Masters, but that doesn't mean he can't still profit. May he interest you in some slacks?...

Tank Johnson Is Obviously Confident That He's A Changed Man
The former Bear/Cowboy/convict has just signed a one year deal with...the Cincinnati Bengals. [ESPN]...

OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....

John Calipari Continues His Dismantling Of Memphis
It was bad enough when John Calipari's daughter decided to follow her dad to the University of Kentucky, but it looks like Memphis isn't going to get to keep any of his players either....

Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
He had the genes, the Aryan good looks, and the resources to become a top-flight college quarterback. If only someone had checked to see if John Elway's son ever cared about football in the first place....

The Calipari Daughters Should Probably Get Off Of Facebook Immediately
Although the piles of money and ego-stroking are enormous when you join a big-time program like the University of Kentucky, there are downsides. You know, like a burgeoning online interest in your young daughters....

Red Sox Owner John Henry Doing What Old, Rich Men Do — Marrying A 30-Year-Old Lass
John Henry's status as one of the architects of the Red Sox revival period has paid off handsomely for his wallet and his love life, as he's set to wed 30-year-old Linda Pizzuti....

John McCain To Save Jack Johnson's Honor
Former heavyweight champion Jack Johnson spent a year in jail for having sex with a white woman—who was also his wife—but a pardon sixty years after his death should make up for all that....

Look At That: John Calipari Is At Kentucky
John Calipari is the new coach of the Kentucky Wildcats and he's going right to work. Step One: Managing expectations....

All Your Hopes And Fears Will Be Revealed Once You Open ... "The Door"
The Door is blowing up! It has devotees, worshipers, even its own Facebook fan group. The vigil continues....

Calipari Watch, Day 2: Pretty Blonde Reporter Is Latest Victim Of The Madness
A Deadpsin operative checked into "Door Watch '09" last night to find that the Memphis Athletic Department had been replaced by an adorable blonde reporter. You can imagine how the comment horde dealt with that....

Shawn Johnson Is Having A Rough Couple Of Weeks
After Shawn Johnson spent last week worried about a deranged stalker, she returns to "Dancing With The Stars" only to be greeted by what appears to be a deranged boner in her partner's pants. (NSFW?)...

John Calipari Is Walking Through That Door (Maybe)
A local Memphis TV station has set up a live web feed of a camera trained on the door to the Memphis Athletic Department offices. It is riveting....

Opening Day At Citi Field, The House That You And I Built
The first player ever to hit a home run at Citi Field? Sean Lamont of Georgetown, which beat St. John's 6-4 on Sunday as Mets fans got to give their new, controversial ballpark a test drive....

Should John Calipari Sell His Soul To Kentucky?
ESPN is reporting that Memphis coach John Calipari met with Kentucky officials at an "undisclosed location" on Sunday and is mulling a "mega mega" offer to jump ship and lead the Wildcats....

Larry Johnson Pleads Guilty, Ordered To Stop Being So Angry With Women, Disturbing Peace
Part of his probation will also be to not "drink alcohol at Kansas City bars past 9 p.m." [ESPN]...

Shawn Johnson Stalker Manages To Make 'Dancing With The Stars' Interesting
Duct tape, two loaded guns, a cross-country journey in a dilapidated car; yep, spring is in the air. And that's when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, and Shawn Johnson....