john Page 208 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lady High School Basketball Coach Suspected Of Improper Student-Teacher Titilation
The spate of semi-attractive teachers corrupting young male students continues....

John Smoltz Heading To Boston (Of Course)
After 20 years in Atlanta, the 41-year-old pitcher is signing with the Red Sox, who presumably will place him in a bullpen rocking chair to spin yarns about Tom Glavine and the Old South. [MLB.com]...

49ers Bid A High-Pitched, Frenetic Adieu To Joe Starkey
Joe Starkey is retiring as play-by-play voice of the 49ers. Don't recognize the name? He's the broadcaster who always sounds like his testicles are wired to a car battery, as this legendary clip demonstrates....

The One With White, Hairy, Humanitarian Bowl Backside
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

The Year In ... Substance Abuse
It's the final day of our end-of-year retrospectives, as Charles Barkley gets in just under the wire with his arrest on suspicion of DUI. Today: Substance abuse!...

Giants Acquire Baseball's Most Formidable Mullet
In case you hadn't heard, Randy Johnson is now a San Francisco Giant. One year, $8 million. You're welcome, ladies of the Bay Area. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

Hugh 2: A Historical Hugh
West F'in Virginia. That's all you need to know....

Hugh 1: It's Not the Size; It's How Often You Score
This Hugh Johnson post is in honor of John Holmes, WVU linebacker. We salute you... you know, with our hands....

Cure for LeFevour: Schnellenberger With Side of Weekend Bowl Games
Florida Atlantic feeds a fever and three bowls with zero pretensions work the broadcast tower for us on a bloated Saturday....

John Daly Gets All Smashy With Fan's Camera
What happens when you get close to John Daly with an item that isn't either donuts or booze; he destroys it. Here's Australian Open fan Brad Clegg and what used to be his camera....

Prep Football Star Shoots Himself During Traffic Stop
Billey Joe Johnson, a 17-year-old high school running back from Mississippi, died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound during a routine traffic stop yesterday. The junior tailback from George County High School was one of the top-rated prospects in the country and reportedly had scholarship offers fro...

HUGH 2: Why Take The Ball At The 40 When I Can Field It Right Now?
Florida 17, Alabama 10, 2nd Quarter. Javier Arenas just made the dumbest play I've ever seen a college football player ever make. After the Gators connected on a field goal to tie the score at 10 apiece, Florida kicked off to Arenas. The kick was about to go out of bounds UNTIL ARENAS FIELDED THE D...

Hugh 3: Hugh Side of the Force
So this happened. Apparently, the victor receives the spoils of band instruments when Kansas and Missouri clash. We're pretty sure this doesn't compensate fully for Bleeding Kansas, but it just might make up for Leftoverture....

Hugh 2: You Wouldn't Like Hugh When He's Angry
Your finals at this moment: Va Tech 17, Va Techless 14; Cincy 30, Syracuse 10; Clemson 31, South Carolina 14; NC State 38, Miami 28. The fights for Georgia and Kansas City continue to tighten with 9ish minutes left. Also, no one's resigned in the last hour or so, despite all the screaming we've hear...

Hugh 1: Croom'd!
First, news: Sylvester Croom has resigned as Mississippi State head coach. The leading candidate for the position is... Sarah Palin? Silver, stop messing with us! And now your local angry young men in spandex......

Greetings, Spinheads
Happy day after Thanksgiving. Today is gonna be looser than usual, given both the tech issues and that the vast majority of you are out shopping, or hungover, or getting ready for high school reunions. We'll cover some stuff, we'll ignore a lot of stuff, and have some fun being buddy, buddy, buddy a...

Hugh Johnson Feels Right At Home In Beaver Stadium
Penn State needs to secure a home win this afternoon against Michigan State, and through one and a half quarters things couldn't be going much better. The Nittany Lions have built up a 14-0 lead over the Spartan. Penn State is getting great performances out of quarterback Daryll Clark,who has throw...

Hugh Is Impressed With What He Sees From the 'Eers
West Virginia, led by the fleet-footed Pat White, is having a field day on the ground in Louisville. Energized by a goaline stand to end the half the Mountaineers opened things up and have now compiled well over three hundred yards on the ground. White is leading the way with 199 yards and three to...

Hugh Aren't What You Used to Be
This interesting little piece of body comes from Rate My Tattoos (via FanIQ) and it's probably a pretty good representation of today's rivalry game. Ohio State is dominating Michigan to absolutely nobody's surprise behind a 59 yard Beanie Wells touchdown run and a 53 yard touchdown catch from Brian ...

Is Jimmie Johnson's Third Straight Cup THAT Big A Deal?
ESPN is really trumpeting the impending NASCAR Sprint Cup championship of Jimmie Johnson. Jimmie has racked up so many points before this final race that all he has to do is keep his blood-alcohol level below a .15 and he'll win his third straight Cup. But, and I'm asking sincerely, how big a deal i...