john Page 211 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "...
John Daly Sleeps With His Eyes Open Both Literally and Metaphorically
Professional golfer/wing inhaler John Daly has finally sobered up enough to speak about his bizarre overnight jail stay from last weekend, after he was allegedly picked up drunk at a North Carolina Hooters restaurant. Daly is frustrated by this latest public spectacle, and feels particularly misunde...
Hugh 4: High-Fives All Around
Well folks, you did it. We put out the call for action, and you did not disappoint. (Unlike Georgia and Florida State, who are currently getting smacked around. End obligatory update.) In fact, if you listen closely, you can hear the cry of joy from the young Iowan boy. And the gasp of horror escap...
Hugh 3: This Thing On?
Well those games were a great big ball of excitement, weren't they? Michigan State amazingly won despite their receivers dropping a combined 3,878 passes, Northwestern got their victory with a late interception return, and Purdue outlasted Michigan 48-42. In fact, there was so much going on that al...
Hugh 2: Dee-Fence?
Nothing quite like a Saturday morning/afternoon featuring a bunch of bruising Big Ten matchups, games that are settled by whoever happens to get into field goal range first because the stifling blood-lusting defenses hold the prissy, pansy offenses to only a handful of yards all day. Just kidding, ...
Hugh 1: The Morning After
There's nothing worse than waking up with a pounding in your head from the festivities the night before, except when that pounding is literal because of people doing construction upstairs at 8 in the morning! I'm not paying my rent this month. But enough about me, what about Hugh? Not much going on ...
Goodell Asks Larry Johnson to Sit One Out, and Think Things Through
Everyone's favorite rap superstar befriending, boyfriend threatening running back has been suspended for one game without pay by the NFL. Johnson, who has been deactivated by his employer for the last two games, will not play against the Chargers next Sunday. The Chiefs didn't seem too upset about ...
John Daly, a North Carolina Hooters, 2:17 a.m — Guess How This Story Ends?
Well, hi there, handsome! Here's the latest mugshot of troubled professional golfer John Daly, who is obviously still hellbent on recklessly drinkin' and piggin' himself toward an early grave. Winston-Salem police arrived at a Hooters restaurant early Sunday morning and came upon Daly being "intoxic...
Dean Wormer Would Be Horrified
I suppose if one attends a conservative Christian school such as John Brown University in Arkansas, where students are required to sign a pledge that prohibits profanity, pornography, extramarital sex, tobacco, alcohol, gambling and even dancing, then activities like this are sure to be the result. ...
Hugh 4: Louisiana Signals Its Displeasure Over Current Events
Thanks to Paul for this evocative image, complete with artsy angle. (And also thanks to Brad, who sent one just before post time.) We thought the LSU fans were a little drama queen-y when their band broke out "Paint It Black" at 21-7 Georgia. Now we know for sure. Lady Andrea: The #1-ranked team is ...
Hugh 3: Brian Who?
Texy let us know that Brian Griese had an awful time remembering Chris Weinke's name in the Texas-Team That Will Lose to Texas game. We don't think Chris should be offended. He had a fine sports career and should be proud of his efforts. Besides, who's gonna remember Brian Griese in three years? We ...
Hugh 2: The Wrath of Hugh
You're getting a little nastier out there, especially when it comes to having your sexual predilections called out in previous Hughs. (Confidential to Towering for Tebow: We're agnostic on pooper action; thanks for asking.) We approve of this turn for the mean. We also wonder if the left tackle for ...
Hugh 1: Chris Simms Should Take Notes on Internal Organ Care
No surprises out there so far. Texas Tech has taken the pressure off their kicking game by sticking to touchdowns, rolling out 35-14 before the half and injuring only one side judge. We thought Tech might have to roll out a teenager with a genetic liver disorder to kick after the half, but calm has ...
Chris Johnson's Musical Stylings Not A Hit With NFL
I've always thought that the NFL was a bit stodgy when it came to their touchdown celebration policy; playing the Mr. Belding in the Saved By The Bell that is our nation's most popular televised sport. But that being as it is, there is a rule in place against end zone shenanigans, so the Titans' Chr...
Larry Johnson Makes a Solemn Vow to Not Become Ike Turner
Chiefs running back Larry Johnson was deactivated again this week and addressed his latest lady-pestering incident with the media yesterday and seemed surprisingly contrite. We're so used to seeing troubled athletes mumble through scripted apologies for the sake of their career, it's a little jarrin...
The Rather Remarkable Self Destruction Of Larry Johnson
Details continue to come out concerning Chiefs running back Larry Johnson and an altercation with a woman at a Kansas City nightclub on Oct. 10, and it's interesting, if depressing, reading. Already scheduled to appear in court on Dec. 3 on an assault charge for pushing a woman at a nightclub, Johns...
Hey, Hugh! Hugh Down There!
First thing I learned at internet journalism camp - always bookend an upskirt with a downshirt. Maryland continues to only get up for the big games, winning their fifth straight against a top-25er by blanking Wake Forest 29-0. And Matt Grothe went touchdown happy as South Florida smashed Syracuse. ...
Lou Holtz Is Down With Hugh
So, Lou Holtz apologized for his Hitler remarks from last night. If anyone has video of this, feel free to send along. Another guy who might have to issue an apology (a very personal one) is Terry Bowden, who wrote that his brother Tommy deserved to get canned. Texas Tech and Texas A&M are locked i...
What are Hugh Two Lookin' At?
The big showdown between the Daniels and the McCoys comes your way this evening. Meanwhile, couple of early shoot-outs going on between Syracuse/South Florida and Texas's A&M and Tech, and Georgia is up a touchdown on Jay Cutler's alma mater. Was it obvious there I have no idea what I'm talking abo...
John Madden Getting Sick of Riding Old Bones Across Country in a Bus to Cover Crappy Games
The Washington Post has just reported that NFL broadcasting stalwart John Madden will miss his first week blabbering about football for the first time in 476 games. He's not gravely ill and not planning on retiring soon either, so the Frank Caliendo suicide watch is also put off indefinitely. No, th...