john Page 226 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
A sign at College Game Day: "LOU HOLTZ FOR PRETHIDENT." Way to make fun a man's lisp. Stay classy Iowa. - EPS...

John Rocker Is Concerned With How YOU Speak
I was totally with him until the part at the end where he said "E Pluribus Unum." SPEAK ENGLISH, DICK. There's no room here for your crazy Latin talk....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
You know what an older gentleman, sensitive to the slow deterioration of his once-strong body, wants above all else? Wall-to-wall national coverage of his case of the shits. Thanks, ABC. - Tuffy Rhodes...

Johnny Damon, Grabbing Himself And Having Sex
Johnny Damon beats off in centerfield. At least, I think that's what she's saying. And you know, she doesn't seem repulsed by the idea... not enough to follow Damon home and mess with his war veteran father, anyway....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• Does anyone else hear "Please like me! I fit in!" over and over again when Linda Cohn does football highlights? - Derek, Pittsburgh...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
The sideline reporter at the Georgia-CU game just said that Ugga, Georgia's mascot, is "built for pleasure, not speed". Yikes. - Hotwingz0...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• I just woke up to find that apparently last night I texted my ex-girlfriend in French... I don't speak French. You think thats a bad omen for the Vols? - Mikel, Lexington, KY...

Chad Johnson, Perhaps Unaware Of His Surroundings
So remember that hit Chad Johnson took at the end of the Bengals-Browns game last week? Well, over at The Fanhouse, the omnipotent Mighty MJD found the video of Johnson's postgame "discussion" with reporters. We think maybe he wasn't quite ready for an interview yet....

A Day At Paul Brown Stadium
So, we are sad to report that we did not make it to Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's dramatic interpretation of the chicken dance at Cincinnati's Oktoberfest on Saturday afternoon; we figured by the time we actually made it downtown, we'd be too far away to see anything but the tip of Johnson's ...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
Louisville just went up 24-7 on Miami, Michigan looks to be pretty firmly in control of things, and I'm just going to leave you to enjoy those things... if you're the type that likes to see big-name programs get humiliated. Enjoy the big games tonight, too....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• That Brady Quinn is so good-looking that I'll bet even Pam Ward thinks he's hot. - drocksportsguy...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
• Not actually watching any college football at the moment, as I just woke up, but the Pam Ward's short WikiPedia page entry reads "Pam Ward is probably a lesbian." - DriveInHard...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• "There was a sign during Gameday this morning - "Charlie Weis: The Devil Lovechild of Jabba the Hut @ Rosie O'Donnell." - Lingering Bursitis...

Chad Johnson Is A Chicken Dance Maestro
As many have pointed out before, the vast majority of hardcore NFL fans have never attended an actual game in person. Factors include the rarity of games, the high ticket expense and the fear that someone in a dog mask will steal your wheelchair....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4: Maybe We Should Watch Tennis
This is the last one for today... I'm going to let you enjoy the rest of this Penn State/Notre Dame "game" on your own. You have let a nation down, Joe Paterno....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3: At Least You Aren't Northwestern
"Favorite Gameday sign: 'Did you know... That Bo Jackson ate more than 36 crabcakes before his first game in the NFL?' Followed closely by, 'Corso is a giant tool.'" - InTylerWeTrust23...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2: Blowouts And Bad Teams
"Rutgers football is making me more money than my job." - Unsilent Majority...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1: Kicking Will When He's Down
WVU's Steve Slaton has 105 yards rushing with 6:35 to play in the first quarter....

Hugh Johnson Project - Update 4
This one is the Mike Gottfried/Paul Maguire/Gary Thorne hatred edition. And we're wrapping this up for the day. Many many thanks. I think it's been a success....

Hugh Johnson Project - Update 3
We've got one more of these coming... pretty please keep the IMs coming to "DeadspinFootball" on AOL Instant Messenger. You guys are amazing. In fact, I wish I had room for more of these......