johnson Page 70 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tank Johnson Is Obviously Confident That He's A Changed Man
The former Bear/Cowboy/convict has just signed a one year deal with...the Cincinnati Bengals. [ESPN]...

OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....

John McCain To Save Jack Johnson's Honor
Former heavyweight champion Jack Johnson spent a year in jail for having sex with a white woman—who was also his wife—but a pardon sixty years after his death should make up for all that....

Shawn Johnson Is Having A Rough Couple Of Weeks
After Shawn Johnson spent last week worried about a deranged stalker, she returns to "Dancing With The Stars" only to be greeted by what appears to be a deranged boner in her partner's pants. (NSFW?)...

Larry Johnson Pleads Guilty, Ordered To Stop Being So Angry With Women, Disturbing Peace
Part of his probation will also be to not "drink alcohol at Kansas City bars past 9 p.m." [ESPN]...

Shawn Johnson Stalker Manages To Make 'Dancing With The Stars' Interesting
Duct tape, two loaded guns, a cross-country journey in a dilapidated car; yep, spring is in the air. And that's when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, and Shawn Johnson....

Police Report: Gus Johnson Fought With Restaurant Manager
The Gus Johnson police report is here, and there's a little more to it than we were led to believe. Saturday's Blues City Cafe altercation wasn't just verbal; there was definitely a fight....

Gus Johnson Does Not Send His Compliments To The Chef
So the whole Gus-Johnson-in-handcuffs story turns out to be a "show's over people, nothing more to see here" type of deal, it appears. The CBS sportscaster wasn't arrested, and no charges were filed....

Gus Johnson Handcuffed Saturday Morning After Outburst At Memphis Restaurant?
So sayeth The Big Lead: "Sources say Johnson had become increasingly surly during his dining experience, and complained vociferously about the service and his food." [The Big Lead]...

Randy Johnson Will Still Put A Ball In Your Neck If You Test Him
"In Johnson's first throwing session against Giants hitters on Saturday, his new teammates took a few too many pitches for his taste. Unabashedly incensed, Johnson grumbled afterward, 'Swing the stinking bat!' [NY TIMES]...

Larry Johnson Goes Chasing Old Waterfalls To Brighten His Dark Days
The Kansas City Chiefs' disgruntled running back Larry Johnson is taking another chance at romance. Hopefully, this new relationship won't end with spit-covered faces or messy restraining orders. His next victim? That TLC lady....

Three Random Dudes Agree To Play H-O-R-S-E
Kevin Durant, O.J. Mayo, and Joe Johnson will be the three competitors in the NBA H-O-R-S-E contest on Saturday. Try to contain yourself. [USA Today]...

The New York Jets And The Flaming Lesbian Catfight
Poor Woody Johnson. The Jets' owner has watched recently as his team capitulated, his quarterback underachieved, and his daughter had her hair set on fire by her lesbian girlfriend. Wait, what?...

Lady High School Basketball Coach Suspected Of Improper Student-Teacher Titilation
The spate of semi-attractive teachers corrupting young male students continues....

The One With White, Hairy, Humanitarian Bowl Backside
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Giants Acquire Baseball's Most Formidable Mullet
In case you hadn't heard, Randy Johnson is now a San Francisco Giant. One year, $8 million. You're welcome, ladies of the Bay Area. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

Hugh 2: A Historical Hugh
West F'in Virginia. That's all you need to know....

Hugh 1: It's Not the Size; It's How Often You Score
This Hugh Johnson post is in honor of John Holmes, WVU linebacker. We salute you... you know, with our hands....

Cure for LeFevour: Schnellenberger With Side of Weekend Bowl Games
Florida Atlantic feeds a fever and three bowls with zero pretensions work the broadcast tower for us on a bloated Saturday....

Prep Football Star Shoots Himself During Traffic Stop
Billey Joe Johnson, a 17-year-old high school running back from Mississippi, died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound during a routine traffic stop yesterday. The junior tailback from George County High School was one of the top-rated prospects in the country and reportedly had scholarship offers fro...