joke Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Are My Favorite Weed Jokes
The official holiday of potheads has been normalized to the point that police department Twitter accounts even try to make jokes about it. (These jokes are not insanely funny since the police departments continue to arrest people for weed, but… it’s a start?)...
Mike Matheny Made A Joke?
The St. Louis Cardinals, who were 38-43 at home last season, are 6-0 at home for spring training. (That’s swell. Almost means as much as those 81 games.) Manager Mike Matheny was asked a light question about the team’s preseason performance, and I think he tried to be funny and peck at the Cubs?...
"Steve Bannon Looks Like" Jokes Are One Of The Few Good Things We Have
The United States of America is being run by a cabal of fat racists who sundown at all hours of the day. This state of affairs has left us with precious few things to laugh at, but one of those things is the internet’s dedication to making fun of White House chief strategist Steve Bannon, who looks ...
Dying Is Easy, Making Famous Politicians Seem Funny Is Hard
Disclaimer: Any assumption that the political jokes contained in this article are funny will lead to disappointment....
Giannis Antetokounmpo Is Not So Great At Jokes
Giannis Antetokounmpo is a 21-year-old who just signed a $100 million contract, so you can imagine why he might have been feeling a little giddy heading into NBA media day. He was feeling so good, in fact, that he began his session with reporters by firing off a joke that would have made even the la...
<i>Suicide Squad</i> Is The Summer's Best Movie About Divorce
I consider my life to consist of two parts: one before I saw Suicide Squad, the other after. ...
Mikhail Prokhorov's Got Jokes
The Brooklyn Nets don’t have a GM. This is a particularly bad time of year to not have a GM, because unloading some expensive, veteran talent in exchange for draft picks or cap relief is a good way for a bad team to begin trying to unfuck itself. So it was no surprise when Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski...
Conan Channels Cam Newton During Post-Joke Press Conference
Congratulations to Conan O’Brien, who managed to take the hot-take superfund site that was Cam Newton’s press conference and make it a set-up for a very enjoyable bit. I promise, this won’t annoy you at all!...
Will Jared Leto's Joker Be Too Raw And Subversive For Modern Society To Handle?
Wow, we knew from previous reports (“Leto ... sent Margot Robbie [Harley Quinn] a dead rat”) that Jared Leto’s portrayal of the Joker in the upcoming Suicide Squad movie would be unbelievably edgy and raw, but Twitter users @boring_as_heck and @swarthyvillain got ahead of the film’s promotional cycl...
Peyton Manning Dropped Some Dad Burns On The Denver Media
Peyton Manning made a surprise appearance on the Denver Broncos’ injury report. The injury, apparently in his back, isn’t anything major, but it was still something Manning anticipated the media would want to question him about. He decided to head off these concerns with some jokes that your dad wil...
Andrew Brandt Is Still Blessing Us With Repetitive Jokes
Former ESPN and current MMQB contributor Andrew Brandt is known around these parts for one thing: mercilessly pounding unfunny Twitter jokes into the ground. After delivering classics such as “Served with a defibrillator” and “Ham sandwich trade,” Brandt has unveiled his latest stroke of comedic gen...
IRS Goober Hits FIFA With A Tasty Burn
There were a lot of important things to discuss at today’s Department of Justice press conference about the corruption charges being brought against FIFA, but let’s worry about that stuff later. For now, we can focus on this dude from the IRS, who stepped up to the podium and unleashed hell:...
Ref Goes Down With Injury; Soccer Player Uses Spray To Outline His Body
Hartlepool played Oxford United yesterday in England's League 2, which is not great. Midway through the second half, referee Patrick Miller collapsed, clutching his knee with what appeared to be a serious injury. Not great, either. What is great, though, is what happened next as Miller writhed on th...
Aaron Hernandez's Lawyer Made A Ballghazi Joke In Court
Is a murder trial an appropriate place to make a dopey Ballghazi joke? Aaron Hernandez's lawyer says, "Sure, why the fuck not?"...
Greg Maddux Makes Fart Joke During His HOF Induction Speech
Greg Maddux keeps the Greg Maddux Stories rolling with the ol' lighting-your-own farts-on-fire-with-your-brother gag. Never change, you magnificent weirdo....
Everyone Is Making The Exact Same Joke About Jay Z And Solange
Did you hear about Beyoncé's sister, Solange, trying to fight Jay Z in an elevator? If not, go check it out. It's pretty funny. Now that you are aware of the fact that Solange tried to fight Jay Z in an elevator, you may be feeling a temptation to open up Twitter and make a joke about the incident. ...
Robert Griffin III Still Has A Better Completion Percentage, Jay Leno
Carnac The Magnificent: [Holds sealed envelope to temple] Literally anyone else hosting The Tonight Show. ...
How Not To Tweet About Today's Jameis Winston News
The tweet has since been deleted, but whoever decided to send it in the first place will be spending the rest of the day in Oof City....